Three Rules: Thrive to Live
by Emo-Shukun
Summary: Busy with college, Ichigo needs a captain to replace him as he prepares for finals. Being in charge, he gave his replacement one simple order, and was not obeyed. The captain now mentally and physically scarred. Can Ichigo heal him before he goes back?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 01**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Snowflakes fell from the sky to signal the start of a mysterious season, the season that brought hope to many whom believed in it; winter. Some would say the world is reborn once the snow melts, some say it turns into spring, and some say it was a time in the world to enjoy. The white plains were disrupted by a black and red Hell butterfly, fluttering around in front of a small captain that was enjoying the scenery. It was sent to tell him that the Commanding-General was privately summoning him to the spacious office held in the First Squad's barracks. At least a Hell butterfly was sent instead of a messenger, which meant that he could take his time arriving so long as it was not too long.

Perhaps after ten to twenty minutes of walking at a good pace, he had finally arrived at the office of the eldest man of the Shinigami world, and was allowed in by the lieutenant of the squad. He did all normal routines that needed to be done; walking in with respect, standing in front of the desk, and bowing to the old man. When fire and ice met was never the greatest reaction, however, it had to have been important for one single captain to be summoned alone. Moments later the Commanding-General nodded to acknowledge the other's presence before placing hand over hand against his desk.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," Shigekuni started firmly. "I have a very urgent but small mission for you, and whether you require backup is your choice alone to make." He nudged a file forth, revealing a man in question.  
Toushirou stepped forth to look at the front page of the documents, trying not to falter when seeing the infamous man everyone knew. "This mission involves Kurosaki Ichigo?" Did he cause some trouble?  
The elder nodded as the other grasped the file to look it over. "Over these past seventeen years working with him, we only needed to send an officer to check on the status of the Karakura Town twice a year."  
He had been hearing chattering gossips about some issues. "Should I assume that the rumors of there being an increase of Hollow in Karakura Town recently, Soutaichou?" Everyone had been talking about it.  
Humming his response to agree, he continued speaking. "Powerful reiatsu brings powerful Hollow, and I have been asked to send a taichou down to Earth to assure the town's safety during this desperate time."

White thin brows fused with confusion to his words despite understanding where this was going. "Though, shouldn't Kurosaki Ichigo be doing this task, he is the protector of that town." Maybe Ichigo was slacking off for some reason, but he could not judge that man for all that he has done for them in the past…

"It was Kurosaki Ichigo's request to have someone sent there to take his place temporarily for the next three to five months." An old wrinkled finger pointed to the file that was held in the other's hand. "As you may be aware of, he has extended his years in schooling to become a better man, both as a human and as a Shinigami." After high school, Ichigo dove right into college to be someone needed. "He informed me the other day during his visit here that his finals are coming up, and the stress has being doing damage."

"With his reiatsu subconsciously rising due to stress, no doubt it would cause the increase the number of Hollow coming into their world." Toushirou flipped to the third page that had a more recent picture of him.  
"Much relies on his good work on his succession of these final exams that he has. Which is why I have called you here, Hitsugaya-taichou." The elder stated. "Will you accept and take on this simple mission?"  
At first he would have declined helping that man, but he had done so much for Soul Society that he could not complain. "Yes, I will not need assistance. Matsumoto will look after the Tenth Squad in my absence."  
Nodding in approval to his request while he was setting his hand set down the file. "You may leave as soon as you can. Please keep in mind that you will have to accommodate with Kurosaki Ichigo for now."

…what?

* * *

"Oh, so he sent you, huh Toushirou?" A man with a shrubby bright orange goatee mused before opening the door wider for said short male to come in. "Sorry the apartment is a little dirty, I've been busy lately."

Toushirou twitched in annoyance as he came in—after knowing him for _almost_ twenty years, someone would think that he would know how to call someone by their title. Although, in turn, the party not called by their title should be used to the casual name calling after _almost _twenty as well. Turquoise hues then scanned the apartment to see that it was a bit commodious compared to the one that Inoue Orihime lived in. It was not something that you would call a little dirty though, the only thing that was out of place was a shirt on the arm of the couch that was in the front room. If this was considered dirty, Toushirou had no idea whatsoever what he would call his lieutenant's quarters over in the Tenth Squad's barracks.

Back to the subject, Toushirou scoffed as he stood out of the way so the host could close it. "How many times do I have to tell you it's 'Hitsugaya-taichou' to you? You're old enough now to know how to show some respect to your superiors." The door was closed quietly and locked, and the man placed his hands in his pockets while smiling lightly. "I apologize for not being the taichou you wanted here, you should—"

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, it isn't like that at all." Ichigo chuckled softly as he apologized. "Sorry, it's really good to see you, really. It's been quite some time since I've seen you're little face around, been good?"  
"You bastard, you insulted me just now, didn't you?" Calling his face _little_, just because he barely changed since they had last seen each other after the celebration when the war ended. "Never mind, I'm leaving."  
"I would never insult you Toushirou, no harm done right?" He sounded so carefree and casual that it had confused the captain for a brief moment. "Though, I wish it was someone more mature looking, that's all."  
A vein appeared on Toushirou's forehead. "Look, that old codger asked me to take the mission of dealing with the Hollow and any other disturbances that would require my assistance, if you don't like it, I'll leave!"

"Don't get so upset over a few words Toushirou." Ichigo stated calmly, making the other even angrier at him. "This side of Karakura Town isn't exactly safe for those who seem like they could be approachable and innocent." He paused, knowing that it did not sound right. "What I mean is, you might be a target for humans if you're not with me in your gigai. If you stray from the apartment, you might get into trouble."

"You're saying that I, Hitsugaya-taichou of the Tenth Squad from Soul Society, could somehow be taken by humans to their advantage for whatever reasons?" Toushirou glared. "Do I look that weak to you?"  
"I didn't say that, please don't place words in my mouth." The carrot top sighed softly since the captain was making things difficult. "It doesn't matter what you look like to me, it's to others that worries me."  
"Your concern isn't necessary." The little small one hissed. "My mission is to merely deal with spiritual issues, not your human problems. If you believe I can't take care of myself, then say it to my face."  
"No, it's not…" saying it would not help. "Okay, if you want to leave I won't stop you. It's not illegal for me to be concerned about my friend." He smiled softly. "Until you decide, how about you have some dinner?"

His stomach turned at the thought of food; he had left before eating dinner but there was no telling that Ichigo knew how to cook something edible. After offering a slight nod to his host, the other went into the kitchen and told him to sit at the table while he fixed him a plate of food. This gave the captain time to look with his eyes around the kitchen as he sat in a chair at the table to wait for the meal. There was a lot of paperwork scattered in the center of the table; maybe the place _was_ a little messy, but could be worse. A plate was placed in front of him as his eyes had wondered around, causing him to look down and see a bowl of hot pot sitting in front of him.

"I figured, since it's the beginning of winter that I would celebrate by eating something warm. I would've made more if I knew someone was being sent tonight." Ichigo walked away to fix himself some. "If it's not your taste, I have some watermelon—or I can fix something else. I don't know if you like Inoue's food—"  
"Kurosaki, never mention her cooking to me." Toushirou broke the chopsticks apart. "Besides, do you think I would complain after being treated to a meal?" He grabbed some noodles and meat before he muttered aloud. "Thanks for the meal." As Ichigo joined across the table, he began to eat. "It's good…"  
"When my father was busy working, and my sisters were too young, I was always trying to cook. Back then I was burning the food since I was small." The man chuckled. "But I think I'm better at cooking now."  
"So long as the meal isn't mixed with paste or anything that does not belong in the meal, I won't have any reason to complain." While taking another bite, he heard the host chuckle. "I said nothing funny Kurosaki."

"Well, you did as a matter of fact." He pointed with his chopsticks toward him. "Firstly, you asked if I thought you would complain after being treated to a meal. If I added paste to the meal, as disgusting as that sounds, would you complain to a meal that I shared with you?" When he saw Toushirou stiffen at this for being caught in his own words, he continued to eat. "Secondly, it sounded like you were going to stay."

The captain prickled unpleasantly to this and could not find away to get himself out of the sticky situation that he had just placed his self in right now. Never would he have imagined that Kurosaki Ichigo would out-think him, a genius, by twisting his words against him as he so easily did. There was no way to cover up his mistakes in words so that lead to the somewhat awkward silence as they continued to eat. The hour passed quite quickly as they finished their meals, leading Ichigo to do the dishes while the other sat.

"If you intend to stay the night, the guest bedroom is the first door to your left, across from the room is the bathroom." Ichigo set the wet dishes aside to dry by themselves before drying his hands off. "You would have the place to yourself most of the day while I'm in classes. There's a communicator in my room if you need to use it." The watch on his wrist beeped, "speaking of which, I have an incoming call, coming?"

Though Toushirou did not understand, but if he were receiving a transmission, then it was probably the Commanding-General checking in to make sure they were there. Since this was a fact in their situation that they had to share this habitat and work together, both of them wondered into Ichigo's bedroom. As they entered the room, there was a large screen against the wall opposite from the bed that made sense, if there was a sudden call while he was asleep… he'd jump awake. The screen stirred with static before showing the Commanding-General while the two stood there side by side as they waited for him to talk.

"I see Hitsugaya-taichou has arrived on time." Shigekuni stated firmly. "Is this to your liking, Kurosaki?"  
Ichigo did not look over to the little captain to answer, "I have no complaints to your decision, Jii-san."  
"Are all things well on your side as well, Hitsugaya-taichou?" This was the real question to be asked.  
Toushirou look unfazed as he too answered. "It's just as Kurosaki said, there are no complaints here."  
"Very well, that is good to hear." He tapped his staff against the ground. "I looked forward to reports."  
"That won't really be necessary, would it, Jii-san?" The carrot top questioned, hands now in his pockets.  
"I suppose not." His attention turned. "Hitsugaya-taichou, do well to listen to Kurosaki, he is in charge."  
This made Toushirou wonder if he was trying to have him kill Ichigo, but bowed. "Yes, Soutaichou…"

With that, the transmission ended.

"Why does he bother with reports when there's nothing that would need to be reported." Once glancing at his watch to see the time, Ichigo retreated to the front from and opened up his laptop with Toushirou on his heels somewhat. "There are some novels on the second top shelf if you would like to read." For a brief moment, he forgot that the captain was vertically challenged, but remembered when the captain came to the bookshelf. "Oh… sorry, there's a foot stool in the kitchen by the refrigerator if you would like to use it."

"I'm only observing your selection." He pulled a book off the first shelf—  
"Please don't mess up the order, those are notes and documents I've published for myself."  
Sure enough, it had the man's name on it, the entire shelf of books did. "You've been busy these years."  
"Yes, well… as a human, my life is half over, I want to fulfill one goal before I die and go to Soul Society." His voice was soft and gentle as he continued on his essay, but then paused. "I know what awaits me."  
Toushirou knew what he meant. "You should be grateful to be positioned as a future taichou in Seireitei."  
"Grateful?" He looked at him with a sad frown. "Humans are supposed to rest in peace."  
"A normal human perhaps," there was a pause when scowled at for this.

"Normal, huh?" Ichigo hummed casually, trying to think about it. "You were born in Rukongai, right?" The other turned to look at him as if he were confirming it. "I wonder what it's like, being from another world."  
Somewhat curious and confused to his tone of voice, he placed the book away to come over to him. "To what reason would you have to ponder about from being in a world that has no technology in its wake?"  
"That's the thing though. Rukongai is so much more fascinating than this world, and there's so much I don't quite understand about it." A smiled almost appeared. "How does it work? How is it contained?"  
"I was from the First District, I suppose you can consider their methods of work somewhat like farmers and common marketing. There's no need when they don't eat due to—" He paused. "Contained?"

"Dozens, hundreds, and even thousands of people die in one day. For Soul Society to be able to handle that capacity and not throw anything off balance is amazing." His papers were stacked nice and cleanly before he grabbed his laptop to continue on his essay once more. "I occasionally asked myself, do a third of them become Hollow, a third earthbound souls, and the rest are souls that sought for refuge?"

Toushirou recovered from the man's surprising speech. "You enjoy making things complicated."

"The Gods work in mysterious ways, and even you, Kami-sama, are very complicated." Watching the captain's cheeks tint red at the pun he made, Shinigami meant Death God, and he respectively called him a God just to see his reaction. "Funny…" he chuckled. "Does that make me half human, half a God?"

"It makes you _the_ Kurosaki Ichigo." Crossing his arms, he glared at him for being caught blushing.  
"Don't say it like that, Toushirou." Ichigo continued with his typing. "I didn't do anything, Inoue did."  
"You asked her to do a lot for Soul Society, and…" he looked away, mumbling. "For me as well…"  
"Unohana-san healed you, as for Rangiku-san, she's a friend." It was getting to a dark subject.  
"Tell me why you asked her to rescue Hinamori." There it was. "You knew nothing about her."

"…Momo is someone important to you. I can't say I felt guilty back then for her, but, I suppose I could say I felt guilty for you." Ichigo stopped typing to look at the captain for a brief moment. "They had messed with your head and you did something you didn't mean to do—it wasn't fair for her to suffer from that."

His words embedded into his brain, and he turned towards the hall, whispering. "I'll retire now."

"Toushirou," the host called softly, causing the other to stop in place. "Momo has forgiven you for what happened, I'll be damned if you don't forgive yourself as well." This made the captain look at him, slightly surprised at his words. "Since you're staying here in this world, I have one rule that you have to obey at all times." Hearing this would have made Toushirou laugh if the other did not sound so serious. "If you come outside this apartment in that gigai, and you see a group of men that try to talk to you, run away instantly." With his attention caught, the captain turned to look at him fully. "They prey on others no matter the age or gender, that's why I was concerned with you being the designated person to come here. Either way, your rules are to not harm humans under any circumstances, that's why I'm telling you now, to run away."

That was the reason as to why he seemed uncomfortable about the fact that Toushirou was the one summoned to Earth as his replacement. It was true that Shinigami were not allowed to raise a finger towards humans unless they were at the brink of death in their gigai. Even then, Shinigami only needed to swallow a candy or struggle out of the gigai in order to get away from any sort of abuse received. Instead of telling the Strawberry that he was thankful for his concern, there was only one thing that spoke aloud.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou." With this, he headed down the hallway.  
Ichigo smiled at this as he replied loudly for him. "Goodnight Toushirou!"  
"Shut up!" To end their conversation of the night, he slammed the door angrily.  
Now smiling ear to ear, he continued on the essay. "Nice to see you again, I think."

His watch beeped, which then caused him to sigh exhaustively before getting up to go to his room, and stood in front of the communicator. Before anything, a thought occurred to him and hurried back in the other room to grab his laptop to set on his desk before going back to his spot. Hopefully he would keep his voice down to let the other sleep while he could—he also hope that the Commanding-General would also keep his voice down. The transmission had begun, and he almost took a step back in surprise to see Hinamori Momo standing there on screen.

"M-Momo, you should be asleep by now, what's wrong?" Ichigo then mentally cringed; he knew he must have said her name too loud as he heard rustling in the other room. _'Damn, he's going to come in here.'_  
"Nothing's wrong Kurosaki-kun, I… um, I heard Shirou-chan was there." The fragile woman seemed glum about something. "When I heard this from Rangiku-san in the fukutaichou meeting, I thought he might—"  
"You're not doubting Toushirou _again _are you?" He scratched the side of his head as he spoke aloud. "It wasn't intentional, Jii-san sent him on short notice, but you'll have to ask him yourself when he wakes."  
"B-But Kurosaki-kun! Normally he would send a Hell butterfly or tell me somehow that he was going to go on a long mission!" She was beginning to snap in fear. "W-What if he's angry… d-did I do something t—"

"Momo," the carrot top soft gently to her so that he would not scare her, but he also caught glimpse of the captain in subject. "It's just a simple misunderstanding, Toushirou isn't mad at you at all. Remember what I told you about him?" She sniffled and hummed positively to the question. "Good, that's why you should know that Toushirou isn't upset with you, but I'm sure he'll be worried sick if you don't go to bed soon."

"B-But… I can't sleep… without Shirou-chan or Kurosaki-kun here… it's too hard, the memories just keep falling back into place and I get so scared." Her body shivered as if it were proof of her fear of the past.  
"What are you talking about, did you hit your head on the way to the communicator? We're right there where you left us!" He crossed his arms, smiling cockily. "Unless you placed us in the closet to rot…"  
She gasped at this, as if she remembered something. "Y-You're right! I'm so sorry, I completely forgotten the presents you gave me! They're in the box because I didn't want them to get dirty! I'm so sorry!"  
"Good grief Momo, you're falling apart. Sticking me in a box with Shirou-chan, what if he's claustrophobic! He'd cut my head off for sure!" The woman began to giggle. "It's not funny you little brat! Stop laughing!"

It only made her laugh even more as the sniffling ceased and her voice became more cheerful that it was when they began their conversation. Toushirou stared at the man from the doorway, stunned to hear the frail female laughing—it had been years since he heard her laugh happily. Somehow, no matter what the task was, Kurosaki Ichigo always seemed to be able to pull anything off, even to have her laugh. This fact alone was something that truthfully made Toushirou a little jealous of him though he would never admit it.

"Now then, go to your quarters and get some rest, I'll have Toushirou contact you first thing in the morning when he wakes up." However, he raised a brow to show curiosity. "Unless you would want me to wake him up of course, then I really _would_ be a dead man." The female laughed and softly declined. "I'll say this once more to you Momo, and this time, remember it. Toushirou will always be on your side, understand?"

She giggled at him, "Shirou-chan must be really close by if you won't say what you always tell me, huh?"  
"Maybe." He then smiled sheepishly. "It's embarrassing to say when his room is right next to mine Momo."  
"It's okay, I feel much better now even without you having to say it for me." Said female smiled happily.  
"Good, I'm glad to hear that." Ichigo placed his hands in his pockets. "Get some rest now, I mean it too."  
"Kay, night Kurosaki-kun!" The transmission ended. Leaving him to deal with the semi-angry captain.

"I suppose you won't be satisfied with her laughter to leave her words out of tonight's conversation?" He walked over to his desk, sat on his chair, and turned on the laptop—but Toushirou came over and closed it as it attempted to load. "Apparently not," he leaned back in his chair. "You're acting very childish today."

"Kurosaki, I swear to you, I will _kill you _if you're using Hinamori." Despite saying his, his host was amused.  
"What a brave thing to say to the one who is in charge of your mission, Toushirou." He watched the small one flicker with hate. "Yes, I'm using her, that's why I asked Inoue to help. Is that what you want to hear?"  
The captain stared at him when knowing that he was sarcastic. "…I'm sorry. After everything you've done, I shouldn't accuse you of using her in any manner." He bowed before quickly trying to escape with pride.  
"We both know that she will be my subordinate in the future, so I have babied her for ten years since the war." This made the other stop at the doorway. "Only recently I've gradually become a little firm with her."  
Toushirou knew this to be true; at first he thought that it was a bad idea for Ichigo to be her captain, but he saw how careful he was with her. "What do you _always _tell Hinamori then?" He asked softly, quietly.

When there was a long pause, he felt Toushirou look at him, so he quietly answered. "Every night when she has trouble sleeping due to having doubts about you, I tell her one thing." His brown hues turned to the captain, speaking. "I tell her, 'With you here, alive and well, Toushirou will always have a place where he belongs,' that's all." He paused again before adding quietly. "Sorry if it seems a little stretched for you."

"No…" He stood there… letting those words sink in for the moment. "Please continue to tell her that."  
"Can I tell you something?" Ichigo earned his gaze again. "She worries that you're avoiding her, are you?"  
"That's—" it was hard to say that it was none of his business, but he was so involved. "Not your concern."  
"I can't keep making excuses for you. Tomorrow morning, tell her you're sorry for worrying her—"  
"This is none of your business Kurosaki, why can't you butt out?" Shit… he lashed out at him.

"Tell her that you are sorry for worrying her, and that you will try to move on." Ichigo finished from when he was interrupted. "Someone very precious to you asked me to make your relationship with her as a part of my business." He stood slowly and began to change his clothes. "Momo needs to lean on someone."

"That someone is me!" If only he were out of the gigai right now. "She doesn't need to lean on you!"  
"You can't forgive yourself after what you did! She isn't stupid! And just like you, she's still fragile from it!"  
This had taken him back by surprise. "W-What are you talking about?" Toushirou was not fragile at all!  
"Just…" he tried to settle down. "Yes, Momo _does_ need you, but you're hurting, just as much as she is."  
"Don't talk as if you know anything about me." Seems like he recovered quite quickly from his shock.  
"Don't talk as if I _don't_." His eyes rolled. "Again, stop acting like a child. Men _admit_ to their problems."  
"If there were any problems to admit to, I would." With his body turned, be began to storm out again—

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou, it's Hitsugaya-taichou, it's Hitsugaya-taichou." Ichigo opened his laptop again. "I know that your trust is hard to come by, but I know that in some way you respect me like I respect you. To act strong right now when you need support, it only hurts everyone else around you, especially Momo." It became quiet as Toushirou began to contemplate on his words. "There's no way I can force you to talk to me, but please keep in mind that I _am_ here for you, so is Momo, and Rangiku-san too. Goodnight, again."

The captain stood there for almost a full minute before quietly walking away without a word.

Ichigo felt a little guilty for talking him down like that when he knew that Toushirou was in a state of denial when it came down to it. He took in a deep breath before exhaling and flexing his hands in order to get back to his essay that needed to be finished tonight. As time was passing by, it soon became midnight when he finished the essay and printed it out from the printer in the other room in the front. There was no intention of listening to the rustling in the guest room where Toushirou was sleeping, muttering things that could not be heard outside the door. A hand rested on the knob, but he paused when he knew that there was no way in Hell the little captain would want to be comforted by him. His mind gave him a few excuses to mind his own business to leave the sleeper alone, the main one was to let the other adjust to this. With this embedded in his mind, he walked to the front room to grab his ten paged essay before going to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 02**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Something smelt good for some reason; it was what had awoken him from his nightmarish slumber in the guest bedroom. The bed had been partially soft on the surface and mildly firm beneath it, making his long night of tossing and turning more comforting. The room was spacious despite the few additions to the room; an empty dresser, a desk with a radio that seemed to be an alarm as well, and a beautiful scenery if one looked out the window. Last night, Toushirou woke up dozens of times and wondered around the room before jumping back into bed, that was when he looked outside. Snow was falling in this world now, coating everything in a thin visible layer of snow as a sign of it truly becoming winter.

He stretched his sore tired bones before getting off the bed to put it back together since it turned out that he had kicked the covers off. After the room looked nice and tidy again, he changed into some other clothes for the day before heading out of the room. The scent became even stronger once he opened his door, sadly though, he had to go use the bathroom before investigating the kitchen. A few minutes later, he poked his head in the kitchen to see Ichigo in a baggy pair of pants with no shirt and a towel draped over his shoulders. This idiot was talking to himself about something or so the captain thought until he saw a headset in his ear—though, it was a little too small to be one.

"Yes, that's correct. The file should be under my name in the back office, right?" This man's hair was still slightly damped, was he not afraid of the communicator short-circuiting. "Yes, that's right, thank you, have it sent to be by fax right now so I can go over your opinion. There was a beep in the other room a couple of seconds later. "Yes, I received it, one second, please hold." With a press of a button against his ear, he lowered the heat on the stove so he could pass by Toushirou to enter the other room to grab the file. "Ah, morning Toushirou, give me a second and I'll have breakfast ready." He then came back to the stove after passing Toushirou again to undo everything he just did. "Alright, thank you for holding, and everything is accurate other than some grammatical errors—oh, your opening could use a little work." His attention went to the male that stood in the doorway while grabbing a kettle and talking on the Bluetooth with the paper in the other hand. "Your body paragraphs seem very professional, but there's a lack in the clause too." He poured hot water into the cup and stirred it some before motioning Toushirou to come sit at the table to have the tea he just made. "Yes, I understand that, I had to do the exact same thing, that's why I'm telling you right now what needs to be improved for your own benefit…"

Toushirou just stared as the man kept talking and talking to the earpiece while cooking dinner and holding a piece of paper in his hand. Occasionally, while sipping his surprisingly tasteful tea, he caught sight of the carrot top putting the piece of paper down as he set tamagoyaki on the table. Give or take another five minutes of his chatting, Ichigo set up a nice meal: steamed rice, miso soup, the tamagoyaki from earlier, and then there were some natto and tsukemono. Despite that Ichigo _literally_ prepared his guest's plates of food—and tea, the man still did not sit down to enjoy the meal that he set for himself too… making the guest disappointed at how busy the man was. Ichigo sensed the unfamiliar aura in the other, causing him to look at him to see that he was being stared at unintentionally, so he did what he had to.

"Listen, how about I make a few adjustments on my end here and fax it back to you in twenty or thirty minutes?" The man watched as Toushirou seemed a little surprised at him for saying this. "I wouldn't say it's an emergency, but it's a top priority on my side at the moment. I'll be sure that everything will be fine." With that, he removed the earpiece and stuffed it in his pocket before joining him. "I'm sorry about that."

"Is it alright for you to end your call the way you did?" If this person got in trouble…  
"No worries," he parted his chopsticks, "I didn't lie. Eating a meal with you tops helping him."  
"Are you implying that you would rather eat a meal with me than tend to someone who needs your help?"  
"This guy has a week before his assignment is due, he likes it when I overlook his things because I'm his senpai." Ichigo took a bite of the tamagoyaki. "I hope I made enough, if not, I can always cook a bit more."  
Turquoise hues observed the large meal for the two. "It's possible that you may have cooked too much."  
"If that's the case, I'll put the leftovers in a bento and take it for lunch. Yours is prepared."  
A pickle was halfway in his mouth before Toushirou looked up at him. "What?"

"Well," he scratched his head as he wondered where to start. "I'm not going to be here until sunset, and you don't have any money for this world, so I had yours fixed." This earned him a slight scowl for ignoring the question. "After I woke up and took a shower, I cut up half of the watermelon into some slices for you when you're hungry. They're not easy to find this late since it's winter now, so try not to eat all five at once okay?" Ichigo smirked as he ate a tamagoyaki again. " I'll go to the store later and get you some snacks."

"I'm not a child, Kurosaki, I don't need snacks." The captain paused. "Thank you for preparing my meal."  
"No problem, you're my guest after all. Whether you like it or not, you are a top priority." His phone rang.  
He watched him, waiting for him to answer it, but did not budge. "Kurosaki, it could be an important call."  
"If it's important, they'll leave a message." Nibbling on a piece, he glanced at him. "How did you sleep?"  
"The call could be an emergency, and you're ignoring it just so you can ask me how I slept last night?"

"I suppose I am." Ichigo smiled at him, not even fazed by the phone. "How did you sleep, Toushirou?"  
"It's Hitsugaya-taichou." He still received that look from him, and answered. "Good, I suppose…"  
_'Liar,'_ he thought to himself. "Ah, I was wondering why you were tossing and turning. You pervert."  
Instantly choking, the captain did his best to breathe and glare at the man. "W-What did you say?"  
"I barely slept last night, you moved so loudly, even moaned and talked in your sleep." Ichigo mused.  
"I-I—whatever it is you are thinking is completely wrong Kurosaki! I don't do such vulgar actions!"  
"It's okay, don't be shy!" He ate the rest of his breakfast. _'At least he's lively instead of worrying—'_

His phone rang again, this time it was a different ring-tone than earlier, causing him to growl lowly.

Ichigo pulled out his cell phone to look at it, unhappy to see who was calling as he pressed a button to ignore the call, then turned it off to set aside. He stood up with his plates in hand before going to the sink to wash them as he felt eyes lingering on him due to the reaction of the phone call. His watch suddenly beeped, causing him to growl even more annoyance since the pestering would not stop until answered.

"I'm sorry Toushirou, I'll eat dinner with you appropriately tonight." The man took the phone from the table. "Please excuse me, there's a transmission waiting for me." With that, he turned and left the kitchen.

A little concern about the host entered Toushirou due to the aggression that he other suddenly possessed at the moment. He finished his meal as quickly as possible while still showing manners, washed the dishes to the best of his abilities for never having to do such a thing before, and hurried to the room. It felt as if things were tense in here since Ichigo's reiatsu was growing with anger, but looking at the man in the room was a little hard to determine his feelings. The person on the communicator surprised the captain, he had thought it was going to be the Commanding-General, but it only turned out to be Abarai Renji.

"You know I could have easily been your filler, why'd you go and ask for Hitsugaya-taichou?" The tattooed Shinigami questioned through the transmission. "Making Hitsugaya-taichou leave his post like that, tch."  
"I requested for a taichou level Shinigami, not a fukutaichou level. Jii-san offered the job to Toushirou, no need to be jealous." Ichigo smirked despite his anger at the lieutenant. "Besides, you have issues now."  
"I-I don't have issues! It's all your fault! If you had just heard me out, we wouldn't be having all of these problems right now!" He fumed at the carrot top that rolled his eyes. "That's why… you asked for him?"  
"I didn't _ask_ for anyone Renji, that's a part of my deal with Jii-san and you know it." His hands went to his pockets. "I request, he returns, I accept. That is the nature of our agreements, and base of our ideas."

"Abarai," Toushirou called from off-scene of the communicator, causing Renji on the screen to jump in surprise, especially as he made his appearance on the transmission. "What is the emergency for this?"  
"A-Ah, no, it's not exactly an emergency… I…" The redhead turned to Ichigo, fuming with tinted cheeks. "You bastard, you completely set me up didn't you! You knew that he was listening to our conversation!"  
Ichigo turned his head away. "No, I didn't. If you don't have anything important to say, then you better get back to your work." He walked over to his dresser and placed on a shirt, finally. "I have class to go to."

"Ichigo…" Renji called out—sounding as it hurt by the words.  
Said male paused for the moment, "take care of Momo for us."  
"…sure." His head turned. "Oh… um… she's here right now."  
Off the screen they could hear her voice. "Is that Kurosaki-kun?"  
"Uh… y-yeah… and Hitsugaya-taichou." He swallowed nervously.

"Great," Ichigo mumbled to himself as he grabbed something from his dresser, which Toushirou instantly recognized to be called a handgun in this world, and it was tucked in the back of his pants. "Alright then."  
Momo then appeared as if on cue, holding two little plush toys, one that looked like the carrot top while the other looked like the small captain. "Kurosaki-kun, Shirou-chan, good morning! Did you sleep well?"  
"H-Hinamori?" Toushirou seemed taken aback by her enthusiasm since last night she seemed very glum. "Yes, we slept decently." Without thinking of his words had a dire consequence towards him and the man.  
"What! You two slept together?" Renji roared as he threw his face in front of the screen. "I didn't know—"  
"Renji," the carrot top called sternly, causing the three to nearly shutter and look at him. "Back off, we did not sleep together, not even in the same room. I told you that there's no need to be jealous of Toushirou."  
"Stop saying that! I'm _not_ jealous of Hitsugaya-taichou!" This caused the redhead to go into a frenzy as he also added. "There is no way that I would think about being jealous of a—!" He cut short, pausing.

Toushirou glared while crossing his arms. "Of a, what, Abarai?"  
"We're waiting, Renji." Ichigo smirked, also crossing his arms.  
"I-I… taichou is calling for me!" Renji fled the scene. "Bye!"  
Momo giggled, hugging the two toys. "I'm a little jealous."

"Why's that?" Both asked at the same time, only to look at one another with a glare. They then ignore each other and asked—again, in unison by accident. "Just ignore him." The two glared at one another.

Momo smiled happily. "It's good to see you two get along so well, I was worried Shirou-chan would give you a hard time." She then showed off the two plush toys towards them. "They were in the box still when I found them, I was able to sleep through the entire night! But it's still a little lonely without either of you."

The two looked at each other, hoping the other would not interfere when talking, however, Ichigo gave him a gentle nod for him to speak first. This made the captain slightly nod in return to the generous offer that he received from the other whom he was _supposed_ to obey during his stay. There was an interesting silence though as he was about to speak—only to watch as the man walked away again to do to his dresser to find some socks. Though he was confused as to his dressing and communicating at the same time at some point, his head shook at this and turned to the young woman again.

"Hinamori…" Toushirou started quietly, "I'm sorry for not telling you face to face that I would be here in the real world for a while." He paused, trying to think about this. "You must have been worried that I did not want to tell you, but that wasn't the case. Soutaichou wanted me to respond to the mission as quickly as possible—" he paused when hearing her almost laugh at him despite trying to cover it with a small hand.

"Kurosaki-kun told you to say that, didn't he?" Momo could not resist laughing anymore. "Kurosaki-kun!"  
Ichigo walked over curiously. "I didn't tell him to do anything, I only suggested it. There's a big difference."  
"Oh… Rangiku-san wanted me to remind you about tomorrow since it's your day off." She reminded him.  
Causing him to twitch as he remembered. "It can't be helped, we'll return to Seireitei tomorrow afternoon."  
"AFTERNOON? NO!" Matsumoto Rangiku appeared on the screen. "IT HAS TO BE IN THE MORNING!"

"Rangiku-san, I promised to help since you're too afraid to ask Toushirou. So unless you're willing to be here tomorrow morning after my shower, we'll be arriving tomorrow at _noon_ at the earliest." Ichigo sighed as he rustled his hair for trying to bargain with the woman as he also added to his defense. "Besides, you know that you're not the only ones that are trying my free time tomorrow, the guys are asking for it too."

As they rambled and argued, Toushirou watched confusedly when seeing how everyone was having a good time despite fighting over something. The fact that the captain was brought into the subject _did_ annoy him, but did not mind when it was something he did not probably want to get involved in. However, how the three were bickering—well, the carrot tops were bickering while Momo was trying her best to be the referee. Just as the two were down to gritting teeth, Ichigo's attention completely snapped to the side as if he sensed something, and then bolted out of the apartment while slamming the entrance door. Of course this made Toushirou curious as to wonder what the emergency was, so he stopped the transmitter and hurried out the door after seeing that he took his shoes with him. He opened the door and pressed himself against the railing to find him due to being on the second floor, but he watched the man jump!

Ichigo leaped onto the railing twenty feet away and jumped down on top of a metal garbage container before hopping down to the ground towards a group. Once that group saw them while he brought out his gun, they scattered like insects to reveal a fallen male on the ground that did not move an inch. He tucked the gun away before carefully lifting up the male that looked to be a child from Toushirou's view, and the carrot stop brought him to an apartment room on the first floor. While was in there, the captain watched as the thugs had began to surround the area by bushes and cars in order to ambush him

The door began to open, and Toushirou called out. "Kurosaki, there's an ambush!"

This caused the group to look up at the white-haired male, which was a big mistake as they were all then knocked unconscious from behind. If the captain did not know better once Ichigo threw them all in the garbage, he could have sworn that this man was glaring at him! Brown hues looked at the time to see that he was running late, so he had to hurry up and get out of there while he could, but had to be careful about his guest. In truth, now that Toushirou had made himself known to those men, it meant that he was going to be their new target soon since he was _fresh meat_ to them.

"Either stay and lock the doors, or tag a long for a while, it's your choice." With that, he began walking.  
Toushirou blinked before hurrying to place shoes on, locking the door, and caught up to him. "What is it?"  
"You just placed yourself in danger by yelling out like that." He looked at him. "What were you thinking?"  
"I _was_ thinking that you were going to get beat." The captain glared at him in turn to this. "What danger?"

"They are the ones that I want you to avoid at all costs. They are sick twisted creatures that don't even deserve to breathe." Ichigo stated firmly as his fists tightened up at the thought of them. "If you have to encounter them, make sure that I'm with you. Only then will they not attempt to do anything towards you."

"Do you honestly think I will listen to you?"

"Seeing how I'm in command and you are temporarily under my lead, yes, I honestly believe you will listen to me because then you would be disobeying an order otherwise." With a small smirk towards the captain, they arrived on campus, so Ichigo stopped and brought out his wallet. "Here's some money in case you want to buy something, the stores are across the street." He brought something else out, it was a key. "And in case you want to go back, here's my spare key that I forget to give you earlier, okay?"

"Sure."

"Ichigo-senpai!" "Ichigo-kun!" "Ichigo-san!" "Ichigo!" "Kurosaki-sama!" Voices of girls all called out to him, making him irk as he turned to look, waving to let the group of ten girls know he acknowledged them all.  
"Toushirou… escape while you can… their worse that Rangiku-san when they want to cling—" before Ichigo could say another word, they all clung to his arms, looking at his little _friend_. "Hello everyone…"  
"Kurosaki-sama, you were making us worry about you when you were a few minutes late." One of the girls sounded as if they were trying to flirt with him. "Where did you get such a cute little sidekick, huh?"  
"It's not like that, he's…" he did not want to lie to the girls, and did not want to irritate his friend either. "Don't tell me you're interested in him, are you? I would be hurt if that was the case." He frowned at her.

"Not at all!" The girls gasped before trying to comfort him. "No one could ever replace you!"  
Just then, the bell rang. "How about you ladies go to class, okay? I'll be there shortly."  
"Okay, don't make us wait!" Some then waved to Toushirou. "See you later cutie!"  
"…Kurosaki…" Toushirou seethed at the man for the women's tempts on him.

"They are colleague's that I work with. During this time I have to work with a lot of them since they would be working under me in the field." Ichigo smiled lightly at him, apologetically even. "Their very important colleagues of mine as well, so please bear with them if they approach you like they did a moment ago."

As much as he wanted to decline the thought of letting more women squish him between their 'Valleys of _Death_,' from how the man put his words, he had to. Toushirou sighed as if to say he agreed before he turned to walk away from the campus so that the host could hurry up and go to his classes like a good student. A thought occurred to the little captain; what exactly did Kurosaki Ichigo go to this 'college' thing anyway, though he seemed dedicated to it. He would have to ask sometime later on tonight in order to receive the answer that he required from this question in his mind. An enormous sign in front of him said 'Welcome to Tokyo,' what a weird thing to call a store in Karakura Town, but he continued for. His cell phone began beeping like crazy to signal the appearance of a Hollow—but it was snatched as he brought it out. All of a sudden, he saw an Adjuchas level Menos staring straight at him with a cell phone in its mouth before crushing it in half with its powerful jaws.

"By law, you are not permitted to leave Karakura Town, Shinigami trash." It growled at the captain, only to look above the opponent, snorting when returning his gaze to him. "That will be your only warning, do not let us catch you doing it again." Once the threat was established, the Adjuchas turned and left the scene.

_'Something got his attention…'_ Eyes widened when he felt the carrot top's reiatsu, causing him to turn around to search for the man… but no one was there that looked like him. _'…was it really Kurosaki?'_

* * *

"Damn it," Ichigo grumbled quietly to himself as his stomach growled. "I forgot to make the leftovers from breakfast for dinner." He kicked back against a tree as everyone was enjoying their lunches. "Now that I think about it, I should have just gone to the cafeteria…" His eyes caught sight of a pair of feet in front of him, making him smirk a little in curiosity. "What brings you all the way back here at noon, Toushirou?"

Yes, there standing before him was a somewhat cranky little captain who extended a hand, revealing a package of food from the store. Ichigo took it since it was being offered to him, but he glanced at the other to see that the captain did not have one in hand for himself. This confused him at first, but had a feeling that the captain did not want to eat in front of him—or in front of others for that matter. Seeing how they had eaten dinner and breakfast together, Ichigo was somewhat hoping that it was because of the latter.

"What about yourself?" Ichigo ripped the cover off and parted his chopsticks. "Aren't you going to eat?"  
"I'll eat when I go to the apartment, I bought you a meal since you had forgotten the bento." He answered.  
"That's not going to work," his hand patted the grass. "Sit down." He offered a sushi roll. "Here, take one."  
Toushirou glared, but knowing he would say, an _order_. "You're abusing your power." His mouth opened.  
After placing the roll in his mouth, he replied. "Maybe… but I'm not the one neglecting my hunger needs."  
"What are you talking about, I'm n—" his stomach growled, loudly, Ichigo snickered. "…shut up Kurosaki."  
"My, my, a least your body doesn't lie." He gave him the chopsticks. "Here, have your share first, alright?"  
The captain scowled as he received the package. "You haven't taken a bite." He offered him some sushi.  
"Fair is fair." Ichigo took a bite without complain and ate it. "So… what are you here to complain about?"

"Eh?"

"You've been sniffing around for an hour, Toushirou, you're reiatsu was flaring off and on." He leaned back against the tree in a bit more of a comfortable position. "I almost began to worry that you couldn't handle yourself while I was in class." His attention went to him. "What did you want to talk about then?"

"There was a Menos earlier after I left, and it was an Adjuchas level." He paused. "It was strange, it said that I was not permitted to leave this town." The captain looked to him. "Do you know anything about it?"  
There was a long pause as Ichigo thought about it. "You're assigned to take my place, my place it to this town. You probably were heading towards the next city, which is Tokyo." He shrugged carelessly to this.  
"Why would they care about—" Toushirou watched as the other turned his back on him, lying fully on the grass. "Then I felt your reiatsu," he paused, scrutinizing him. "What were you doing there, Kurosaki?"  
"I felt the reiatsu and came over since I didn't think you brought your soul candy," he was not lying, he felt the reiatsu of the opponent and assume Toushirou did not bring his soul candy. "Didn't want you hurt."

Despite knowing that he was hiding something, he decided to let it go for now as he ate half the meal, and then realizing that the chopsticks touched Ichigo's lips. First they had touched the captain's lips when Ichigo offered the first dibs, and then Toushirou offered the carrot top the second one. If his memory had served him right, as it almost _always_ did, his lieutenant would call this sort of thing an indirect kiss…

"There's a Hollow." Ichigo muttered under his breath.  
"What are you talking about—" he suddenly felt it.  
His got up slowly. "It can't be helped, I'll go do it—"  
"Ichigo-sama!" A woman clung to him. "I missed you!"  
"I… have to go somewhere, please excuse me."

"If you don't spend time with me like you promised, I'll tell everyone that you're a pedophile for indirectly kissing with this little boy." She felt him stiffen, knowing that he was going to be obedient. "I need help with tonight's assignment, so I was hoping you can sneak into the dorms and tutor me, or I can come over… either way works for me." Her hands went to his muscled chest. "You're not meant to be a—"

"Please excuse me—" As he tried to move around her, she clung tightly to shirt. "Please… let… go…"  
"Is that Hinamori-chan _that_ precious to you?" This woman suddenly hissed at him as if he rejected her.  
He twitched at the question. "We have been through this before, don't have me repeat myself again."  
"Why won't you tell me the truth?" Her hands clenched as she shook him. "You're so cold! Like ice!"

Ichigo chuckled at her when hearing this, finding it as a cruel irony once a large Hollow appeared behind the woman. This worried the captain and was about to attempt removing himself from his gigai until he saw the carrot top raise a hand into the air. Brown hues hardened as he snapped his fingers once, which turned everything quiet suddenly right before the Hollow was instantly ripped to shred. There was nothing but complete shock within the captain as he stared in disbelief as to what he did _not_ see happen…

How did he—

"Toushirou," the other male called, "erase her memories of today, please."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 03**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"You have no right to complain about how I'm doing my job, I was protecting humans as well as Toushirou who was not in a position to defend himself at the moment. If I hadn't sent one of my followers while I was being held against my will by a human woman, someone would have been hurt." Ichigo glared furiously at the screen for having to deal with a midnight conversation with the Commanding-General who would not let him sleep tonight. "I don't have to abide by your damn rules, Jii-san, we have a mutual agreement that you are _not_ going to change. With them at my side keeping everything in check is the safest for both this town and for your precious Soul Society. Keep in mind that I won't be happy if you try to betray me as you did with the _others_. I'm sure that they would love to know that you were planning to finish me off soon."

"Very well…" The elder replied. "Keep them on leash."

The transmission ended just in time as he began to pace around his room quickly in hopes of calming down soon or else Hollow would be appearing. His head was burning ridiculously when he realized it, causing him to leave his room to grab an icepack from the freezer to place on his head. This was slowly beginning to help him settle down, though he mumbled how nice it would be if the room dropped another twenty degrees—which it suddenly did. He turned to look at the captain who was not so pleased for some reason even though Ichigo knew that he was probably listening to the conversation. There was no way he would be able to avoid the questions that the small one had, making him embrace the awaited asking.

"Although, as I'm sure you're aware, I could hear a majority of the conversation. Toning it out doesn't seem to be easy when someone as serious as you is not happy about something." Toushirou started, entering the kitchen a little more to stand in front of the man. "For now, I will ignore the talk that you had so that I may ask you something that is more important to me. Whether you answer me or not is up to you though, but I would like your answer to be truthful and explained with full detail." He saw the man nod.

"I don't lie," the man whispered softly. "There's no reason for it—I may hold back in detail, but I don't lie."

It was good enough for him, and he asked calmly. "Exactly what is your relationship with Hinamori?" This earned him a small glance. "The woman you had me remove the memories of claimed that she's precious to you. I would like to know whether or not that this is true." There was a soft pause as he continued. "I know that you would not risk hurting either Hinamori or myself, but if you plan to get yourself involved with her…" his fists tightened as he remained semi-calm. "I won't let you break her heart or attempt to even—"

"Toushirou," Ichigo spoke gently, causing the other to look at him. "She is like your sister, but towards me, I suppose I would say I feel brotherly towards her for now." He lowered the icepack. "As her progress with my presence improves, our relationship will be taichou and fukutaichou. I won't get _involved_ as you said."  
"You say that, but how can I know for certain?" He eyed him suspiciously. "You might, in time, like her."  
"Did I waver in the slightest with those women clinging to me?" The man sighed softly to keep himself calm and collected. "It's so I know that I would not be interested in a relationship with those who work for me." There was a pause. "Despite that I would almost do anything for her, I will protect her with my life."  
"What do you mean by _almost_ anything?" This did not slip passed him. "What wouldn't you do for her?"  
"If Jii-san told me to kill you for her protection, I wouldn't be able to do that for her, and it would cause a very big problem." He smiled weakly as he set the icepack away. "Not that he would give that order—in fact, he would probably send you in order to kill me after graduation or something ridiculous like that…"  
"Then I would have to decline to that order, you've done too much for me," his eyes shut at the thought.

"And you've done a lot for me too," he took a few steps toward him, raising a hand to gently rustle through the short white-haired strands of the captain's, and smiled lightly at him. "I never did properly thank you."

Toushirou looked up at him with slight concern when hearing his voice being gentle and serene after it was rough and demanding—controlling even. Once the man had quietly requested for the temperature to drop, the captain rose his reiatsu a little to oblige to his host's needs if it would calm him down. The last thing that he needed was to deal with Hollow and Menos during the middle of the night, but now he was surprisingly calm downed. Something about him was completely different than just a few hours ago; he knew all sides of this man, but he never met this side. He became a little unnerved about a large callused hand caressing through his hair, which had him bring his hands up to remove the large hand slowly.

"Ah, that's right, you don't like being touched." Ichigo whispered. "Anyway, Toushirou, thank you…"  
He did not understand what this aura around this man was about. "There's no need to thank me."  
"Are you kidding? You're the reason why I agreed to put up with Jii-san to be a taichou someday."  
A brow rose confusedly with interest. "What are you talking about?" He did nothing for him like that.  
Once the eerie silence was created, Ichigo began to walk away. "We shouldn't be talking about this."  
"Not so fast," unfortunately for Ichigo, the captain still held his hand. "Shouldn't be talking about what?"

He stood there with his arm extended out due to the little man not releasing his hand with his two small pale ones. Brown confused hues turned to demanded turquoise hues, both just stared at each other as if to trying read each other's thoughts. The caring glint was slowly disappearing, being replaced with a look of worry—as if Ichigo were trying to hide something from him. His eyes closed to break the trance that he was in by looking at small captain, and looked away to regain all his thoughts that left him.

"Don't look at me like that," Ichigo muttered under his breath, "and please let go of my hand."

The captain blinked confusedly before realizing that he was indeed holding the man's hand, so he slowly let go to show that he was not surprised. It gave the host a chance to walk to the front room, sitting down on the couch in order exhale heavily to try blowing off steam from something. He felt the presence of the small one behind him; it did not surprise him to know that he needed an answer for his strange behavior.

"I'm sorry, I know I should explain, but I need to be more considerate." Ichigo stated quietly to him. "Back then was really hard on all of us, and you lost it." He paused. "Just let me know that you're alright first."  
"I'm 'alright,' Kurosaki." There, he said it, now he wanted to know what he wanted to say. "What is it?"  
This made him chuckle at him being a smart-ass about it. "Until you forgive yourself for what happened to Momo, this conversation is over." His head turned to him. "Do I make myself clear to you, Toushirou?"  
Anger flickered through him when hearing him saying this, and he snapped a reply. "I told you—"  
"Do I make myself clear?" He repeated, now standing up to face him to make sure that he understood him now. " I need to know that you will take me seriously and not flinch when I tell you why I'm doing this."

"Two minutes ago you were almost ready to kill someone, the next minute you were going were calm and practically caring, and now you're trying to shut down." Toushirou glared at him. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, which immediately drew Ichigo's attention as he brought out the gun from his pants. "It could just be a comrade Kurosaki, put—" He pointed towards the kitchen with a firm silent command.

After he reluctantly obeyed by entering the kitchen to wait, Ichigo open the door and pointed the gun at the midnight guest. A boy without any clothes on had instantly flung himself at him, grasping him tightly with tears flowing down his face along with a few cuts and scratches. Ichigo immediately called Toushirou from the kitchen, asking him to fetch a blanket from the closet, which was obeyed due to reaction. Not long afterward, the captain came in and saw the nude boy clinging to the host, but gave the blanket up.

"They did it, didn't they?" The man asked as he draped the blanket over the sobbing child, but there was no answer. "Sorry about this." He carefully lifted the blanket from the bottom, lifting it to see his foot. "An ankle bracelet…" His tone was becoming a little more firm with each passing second. "Damn it all…"

There was loud banging against his door, "Kurosaki, give us back out Pet!"  
"I'll give you something alright," he opened the door, grabbed the man and shoved him against the interior wall next to the door. "What did I tell you, huh?" He placed the gun against his head, not even shaking.  
"You can't do shit, he agreed, hence the item." The man smirked.  
His attention went to the boy, "did you give them permission?" Weakly, the boy nodded. "Willingly?" It took a few seconds, but he nodded again. Ichigo looked at the man again. "I'll treat him tonight, punk."

"What the Hell do you care, Kurosaki? You have your own Pet right there. Kind of cute too in a stubborn way." The man brought his attention to the little captain, almost beginning to chuckle at the thought. "Man, I bet the guys would love getting a taste of that meat, right? What happened to that redheaded Pet of—"

Ichigo placed the gun in his mouth to keep him from talking. "My friend there, would not bother going even ten feet near you." He notched the hammer on the handgun. "But if I catch the slightest stench anywhere near him, I will come after you, and then I will kill you. One by one until each and everyone one of you are dead." His eyes hardened while tilting his head. "Do I make myself clear? Or do you have to lose a leg?"

The man nodded slowly, so Ichigo released him. "Bastard." He panted. "You haven't marked him, so we can." Again, the gun was pointed at him, making him turn to leave. "Don't worry, Momo-chan looks—"

Ichigo shot him in his rear-end, causing the man to scream out in horrifying pain. "Sorry, I guess I'm not used to a hairline trigger. We're you trying to tell me something?" He notched the hammer once again.  
"N-N-NO! I'M S-SORRY!" The man got up on his feet and ran away, limping when he put a foot down.  
"It's one thing to get Renji involved, but to involve Momo is just plain unforgivable." He discharged the handgun and stored it somewhere safe before coming to the boy. "Did you really give them permission?"  
"Y-Y-Y-Yes…" The boy stuttered, shivering and shaking. "I-I-I-I-I thought… I thought it would be better."

"Lie down and get some rest." Ichigo locked the door before heading to his room, Toushirou on his heels.  
When they came in, he instantly spoke to the frustrated man. "You actually shot a human? Do you—"  
"I'm human _too_, and don't pretend you weren't going to strike him if I hadn't." He pointed to his fist.  
The captain looked at his shaken fist, seeing the gikongan in the palm of his hand. "What of it?"  
"You're not allowed to get involved with human affairs, but I am. I will not go back on my words."  
"Why did he mention Hinamori?" His eyes hardened. "I swear if they ever touch her, I'll—"

"I promised I would keep that quiet, but you're already aware of it, there's not helping it." He came over and sat on the bed. "When I have vacation, I invite her so that she can relax in this world." His arms then folded while in thought. "Though it was a little annoying that she would sneak into my bedroom every time she was here." Immediately, this earned him a glare. "She would have nightmares and find her way into my bed, I allow her because she gave me those same eyes you did earlier." Ichigo realized he said too much. "Okay… enough of that, time for you to go to bed. We have time off tomorrow, so we're going to Soul Society." He quickly began to hurry the captain out of the room. "I have to treat the boy too."

"Kurosaki," he stopped in his tracks. "What did they do to that boy?"  
This made everything freeze. "They violated him, and marked him. Now I can't protect him."  
"That doesn't make sense, you just protected him from that man." Toushirou did not understand this.

"I can only treat his wounds, I can't protect him from what he chose." Walking into the room, he found the boy asleep, so he began to treat his wounds with kidou; something he learned by force. "The bracelet on his ankle means that he's accepted being their item… things are different here unfortunately, Toushirou."

"That's not like you, giving up so easily."

Ichigo paused when he heard him say this, but he easily ignored it for the moment in order to heal the boy with his full concentration. After finishing and tucking him with the blanket, he went into the kitchen and washed his hands with the captain still following him. This could not make him more frustrated than he was right now since he was already annoyed by what had happened to the boy. He knew that the little captain would not leave him alone that easily, which mean that he had to do some explaining to him.

"The boy in there… he has no parents, no shelter, nothing. He chose on his own to give himself to those beasts." The host poured himself a glass of water. "His situation is different from yours, in a way, you had raised yourself to be independent, never asking for help. That kid in there though, he lost everything in an accident last year." His hand lowered the glass that was now empty after drinking from it. "Let me tell you something that I think you're aware of." Ichigo looked at him. "I cannot protect or take care someone to the best of my abilities, if they will not allow me to." He rustled his hair. "Go to bed before I tattle on you."

Toushirou looked at him, trying to figure him out as the hand left his head. "One more question."  
"Just one?" He mused at the specific number. "Alright, let's hear it so you can get to bed quickly."  
"That fool you shot, he called the boy a Pet." Brown eyes flickered at this. "The item is the bracelet?"  
"Pet means exactly that. The bracelet is a sign that they are used for entertainment." Ichigo stated softly.  
"Is he part of an auction?" This had the other look at him. "We've heard about human auctions here."  
" I guess it's true, but they call some of them prizes, and keep them rather than sell them. Their Pets."  
"Be sure to kill them if they ever lay a finger on Hinamori." He paused. "Or any Shinigami really…"

"I'll remember that." There was a knock on the door. "Stay over here, hidden." He left the kitchen to answer the door, only to see a new man. "Take him and get out, step out of line and I'll shoot you too."  
"Always so hostile, you never let us play a game with you." The stranger frowned, coming over to pick up the boy in his arms. "Listen, we used to be acquainted right? You know what I'm going to tell you, right?"  
"If you even look at my friend, I won't hesitate on retaliating. He isn't like my other friend who was gullible enough to fall for your tricks." He glared a little dangerously. "I broke bones last time, but not next time."  
"I'll take into consideration, Kurosaki Ichigo." The man then called out to Toushirou. "Hey Chibi, watch your back if you don't wanna get hurt. I'd hate to see your face get cut." He turned, and walked out.

Ichigo then closed the door quietly, locking it before going to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water and searched through the cabinet. He took a pill before drinking the water, it was nothing but a harmless sleeping pill that would help him go to sleep quicker tonight. His attention went to Toushirou where he stood, crossing his arms in annoyance, and the carrot top sighed softly at this.

"Um… it's time… for us to go to bed." Ichigo walked passed him, heading to his room. "Good night."

Toushirou watched the man slump to his bedroom, so he came over to make sure he was not drunk off water, or that odd pill. To his surprise, Ichigo removed his shirt and pants before collapsing on his bed, somehow scurrying under the covers when already fast asleep. His head shook at the idiot before taking hold of the door handle, and closing the door before going to the guest room to get some sleep. There was something that was tugging at his mind about something that did not feel right, but brushed it away. It sounded much more comforting to slip into a world of sleep rather than worrying about it until the reiatsu of that Hollow from before, and jumped out of bed. Why the Hell would a Menos risk being killed by going into the room of a Shinigami—was is asking to be killed by one or something?

The captain slammed the door to Ichigo's room wide open, only to see the Adjuchas leveled Menos turn to look at him, growling. Ichigo mumbled something in his sleep that drove the Menos to turn towards him and bite down on his leg to throw him across the room. Toushirou swallowed the gikongan quickly and stood in front of the drugged male, standing in Shinigami form, holding his blade. The carrot top groaned as he was forced to stir after taking that sleeping pill, and saw the situation in front of him instantly.

"No!" He barked suddenly, standing up, and grabbing the Toushirou's Zanpakutou to avoid any attacks. "What… are you doing here…?" Ichigo was still sluggish due to the pill he gave himself, but tried waking. The Menos only growled at him while his tail flickered wildly. "No, get out of here right now." It angered the creature who then looked at the captain, only to be yelled at by him. "I said get out of here, now!"

Once it obediently left, Ichigo released the Zanpakutou, and fell back against the wall to return to sleep due to the time and pill. Ichigo flinched at his throbbing leg, looking at it exhaustedly as he mumbled that his leg was bleeding from the bite marks the Menos gave him. Toushirou was about to heal him with kidou since something was wrong with the host, but saw how the wounds began to heal all on their own. Moments later, Ichigo began to stir more widely awake now, much to his dismay as he looked up at his vertically challenged guest.

"Whatever you did, you set him off enough to bite me." Ichigo slowly got up to his feet. "Do you know how long it took me to tame him?" He rubbed his head, grumbling. "Using my Hollow powers to heal drained out the sleeping pill too, great." His attention went to him curiously, exhaustedly. "So, what do you need?"

"There was a Menos in your quarters, and you ask me what I need?" Toushirou stared at him in disbelief.  
He thought about it, and shrugged. "I guess you're right." The man plopped down on the bed tiredly.  
This confused him though. "Aren't you going to report this to Soul Society? Or go after that thing?"  
"No offense, but shouldn't you go to bed to get enough strength to deal with Rangiku-san?"

There was no reasoning with this man, so he turned and left to try going back to sleep.

* * *

"What a great pose!" Rangiku squealed before a flash of light stirred her subject.

Ichigo jumped into a seated position when hearing the annoying voice and flash of light, and almost assumed that he was under attack. He glared at her after looking at the time that said it was that it was only six in the morning—meaning he only slept for three or four hours. His mind contemplated, but had decided that he needed to make Toushirou his sacrifice for once and tell her to go take pictures of his sleeping guest in the other room while he took a shower. The man then watched as she tiptoed out of his room to slip into the other one quietly and took a few pictures of him as the light also stirred him awake.

"MATSUMOTO!"

To get his chance, Ichigo gathered himself to go take a shower with a towel wrapped around his waist in case she poked her head in. Once the water started running and the shower flowing, he would faintly here Toushirou yelling at her, mostly like for taking pictures. Not even three minutes later, Rangiku nearly broke the door down and was disappointed by the sliding doors of the tub that blocked the camera. As he predicted, she shifted the sliding doors and took a picture of his chest up while he stared upwards quietly.

Toushirou stepped out of his room, looking around. "Matsumoto, what are you—" He saw that Ichigo was taking a shower, and she was practically in his face to take pictures. "M-Matsumoto! Get out of there!"  
"Just a second taichou!" She waved quickly before returning to taking pictures. "Tilt your head a little!"  
"If you don't get out of there this very instant, I'll double your paperwork immediately!" With that, she had to listen. "Sorry for the intrusion." He apologized to the host, slamming the door shut. "Matsumoto…"

"What are you so angry about taichou? Ichigo's giving me the day to take any photos of him we want. The Shinigami Women's Association wanted someone hot and famous to be our model, and Ichigo's would be a big hit because he has experience!" Rangiku cheered, turning the camera to the glaring captain, taking his picture as she waited for her model to come out of the shower. "I asked Ichigo to let me take whatever non-exploiting pictures I wanted in return of doing a certain task for him. Since I agreed, I can all kinds of pictures of him!" The bathroom door opened. "Ah! Ichigo wait, I want a picture of you in that towel!"

"Hey, if you don't give me a break, I won't fix you any breakfast!" Ichigo complained as she took pictures.

He went to his room to slip on a pair of boxers on and slipped his pants on before removing the damped towel from his body. She took several shots of him buttoning, zipping, and buckling his pants and belt that he paid no attention to since he was used to the attention. Keeping himself in control, he placed on an undershirt before slipping on a plain white shirt so it would match well with his medium blue toned jeans.

Ichigo came to the kitchen to start making tea when seeing Toushirou waiting for some, but Rangiku was firmly glued to him. He turned around and pointed towards the kitchen table toward the chairs. "Sit down."  
Trying to be cute, she began to whine at him. "Aw! But Ichigo, you said that I could take any pictures of—"  
"Sit." Once this had been repeated, the large breasted woman sulked and sat down at the table between her captain and Ichigo's seat. "Thank you." He fixed the tea. "You know I will not pose in front of him."  
"You would if he did the poses with you!" The woman cheered happily, earning herself complete silence.

Ichigo snorted after recovering. "You know he won't do it."  
"Oh come on Ichigo! Making him laugh or smile! Something uncharacteristic!"  
He thought about it. "His smile and laugh _is_ a little cute." He recalled the past when he saw this.  
"Kurosaki…" Toushirou warned, also knowing what he was remembering.  
"YOU'VE SEEN HIM LAUGH _AND_ SMILE?" Rangiku panicked.

The carrot top smiled sheepishly, offering them some tea. "That was years ago though, but it sounds like you've never encountered those traits. If that's the case, then I won't help you, and take pride in the two things you've never seen. As for him posing though… make a deal." He began to make breakfast now.

"Taichou, I'll do all my paperwork for a month if you do three poses with Ichigo!" She smiled happily.  
This irritated said captain. "Don't try to make deals with the paperwork that you're supposed to do!"  
"Wah! You see Ichigo, he won't listen to me!" The woman fake cried for attention by the taller man.  
"What do you want be to do about it?" Ichigo asked without care. "I'm not going to force him to."  
"If you don't make him do at least three poses with you, then I want you to pose with your pet!"

"Oh…?" He turned to look at her. "How would you know something about my _pets_?"  
The air began to thicken with Ichigo's reiatsu, she knew she was in trouble. "Um… well… I…"  
"There are only _four_ Shinigami that know about them, and you aren't one of them. How would you know?"  
"W-W-Well… l-l-last night…. I-I-I was… w-w-w-w-with Hinamori and—" things became a little more scary.  
"Who touched her?" Toushirou looked at a man when hearing him say that. "Are they still alive?"  
"Hinamori told it not to kill that Shinigami, calling it an accident, and it left almost instantly."  
"So that's why he summoned himself last night. I wondered why he wanted blood."

_'That thing last night was his pet?'_ Now it made sense.

Breakfast was made and served, "just three? Fine, it doesn't look like I have a choice. If I brought him into this ridiculous situation, he would devour souls for sure." His attention went to Toushirou. "You're going to do three simple poses with me, quit being a brat about it. In return, Rangiku-san won't drink sake for a month when I graduate and you can return to Soul Society." He just… declared everything… himself.

"What makes you think I would pose with you?" Toushirou fumed, standing at the table now.

"Good grief, I don't even need Momo to embarrass you, I always have traps up my sleeves." Ichigo rolled his eyes before speaking as he sat at the table. "Simple, if you don't there's a blond your size that would enjoy kicking your ass for touching her inappropriately." He smirked. "You know who it is, right, Pervert?"

His cheeks tint with frustration and embarrassment, and sat down, seething. "_Just_ three."  
"WHY CAN'T I HAVE SAKE FOR A MONTH! YOU'RE SO CRUEL ICHIGO!" Rangiku sobbed.  
"Fine, you're not allowed to have _anything_ that has any type of alcohol in it, deal?" Ichigo mused.  
"YOU'RE SO MEAN SUDDENLY JUST BECAUSE I BROUGHT UP THE WRONG SUBJECT!"

"Of course." He smirked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 04**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Toushirou was furious that he touched Ichigo and vice versa, however, being trapped in a corner had given him no choice in the matter. To think that this bastard would have that annoying _midget_ come to the apartment just to harass him and give him a bad time, it was unforgivable! The one pose that the captain hated the most was when Ichigo sat lazily on the couch, reading with a book in his left hand and his right arm resting on top of the couch. Then there was his own pose, Toushirou lying down on the couch with a book in both hands, half of his body leaning against the other man as a pillow. Thankfully after that was a little simpler as they went into their Shinigami forms and went out into the snow to take the next pose. It was an _almost_ back to back with Ichigo and Toushirou, both having their farthest hand from the camera touch the hilt of their Zanpakutou. However, they never had the chance to get to the third pose as Ichigo demanded that they needed to go to Soul Society since something caught his attention.

When they had arrived, Rangiku did not even have a chance to say anything before the two males left her sight to go to Momo to make sure she was fine. The frail female was startled by their sudden appearance in front of her, but she easily recovered and embraced the carrot top in a blink of an eye. Toushirou would not admit slight pain of jealousy to see his childhood friend go to a man she knew for a less amount of time. She began explaining herself that there was a party last night—one she did not attend to, and one man bumped into her. Though she claimed to apologize, the Shinigami officer became aggressive and shoved her aside with attitude, which summoned his _pet_ to protect her. Ichigo somehow sniffed her shoulder and claimed that there was an acrid scent to it that he was aware of in the Tenth Squad. That being the case, Ichigo stated he would leave it to Toushirou to deal with or else he would do something he would regret. With that, he had left the scene to return to Rangiku who was probably looking for him, and this left Toushirou time to talk with Momo.

He asked about the _pet_, however, she did not answer him.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Toushirou glared at the carrot top that lied lazily on one of the couches in the administrative office as if trying his best to get some sleep. "My office is not your quarters to sleep in."

"You're tired too, right?" He saw the captain taken back by this. "Getting touched by women for hours and having light flash before your eyes can be exhausting." His body shifted to lie on his back as the other went to his desk. "You didn't find the punk who touched her?" Toushirou froze just before almost seated.

"I questioned them, however, no one shows signs of lying when they said did not encounter Hinamori last night." His ears picked up Ichigo's chuckling, making him a little annoyed. "What are you laughing at?"  
"Nothing, I'm just waiting to be sent on the hunt." The Strawberry stretched. "Just need the permission."  
Now amused by this, he decided to humor himself. "So then, if I claim to give you permission to _hunt_ down whoever touched Hinamori, you would?" There was a sudden knock on the door, it was a man.  
Ichigo stood up as the man entered after apologizing for the intrusion, "would you look at that, got him."

"H-Hitsugaya-taichou?" The man looked at the captain pleadingly, hoping to receive help.  
"Scared, aren't you." His brown hues tinted gold now. "Shoving Hinamori last night is unforgivable."  
"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about!" He looked to the captain, begging. "Help me taichou!"  
Toushirou had no choice. "Kurosaki, on what grounds do you believe this man is guilty?"

"I can smell sake all over him, and a trace my _pet_ left on him." Ichigo threw the man down and removed his Zanpakutou to point at the fallen man. "Show him your markings, that way you're his responsibility."

In seconds, the man tore off the upper clothing of his shihakusho to them, revealing claw marks on his chest in which was proof. Toushirou knew that the claw marks were from that creature last night that entered the apartment, but Rangiku said that creature appeared to protect Momo. It had to be true that a member of his squad had shoved her around, and so he had to take actions accordingly, sending him out. Turquoise hues watched as the man did not budge when staring at the carrot top in the eyes, shaking in horror of being attacked by him. Hearing him clear his throat, Ichigo closed his eyes and looked away when knowing the little captain wanted him to stop intimidating the poor man.

"Get out of my sight." Ichigo demanded, and that man ran out while urinating on himself. "No fun…"  
"And what would you have done if I had not called you off?" The captain returned to his work.  
"I wouldn't kill him if that's what you're asking." He paused. "Just wanted to warn him is all."  
His head shook at the statement, replying. "He just wet himself from your _warning_, Kurosaki."  
"Then he'll remember not to touch Momo, unless, you want something worse to happen next time?"

"I suppose not…" Toushirou looked at him curiously, despite scowling.

"ICHIGO-KUN!" Ukitake Juushirou's yelled, throwing himself in the office. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  
"I was just trying to take a quick nap." His sigh was tired sounding. "Alright then, let's get going then—"  
"Not a problem!" He waved to others out in the hallway. "I found Ichigo-kun! Bring in the camera now!"  
Ichigo was surprised by the men coming inside. "H-Hey, wait, we're not going to do it in here are we?"  
"W-What the Hell is going on?" Toushirou was also taken back at the flooding men. "This is an office!"

"Our apologies Hitsugaya-taichou, but we can't let Kurosaki Ichigo get away!" Tetsuzaemon Iba stated, camera in hand. "Someone, get the water!" As demanded, Oumaeda Marechiyo had a bucket of water.  
"I got it, I got it!" He ran over and threw the water all over Ichigo, who was now drenched, and angry.  
"Nice expression Kurosaki!" Hisagi Shuuhei cheered, pumped by the situation. "Do _that_ pose for us!"  
"Yes Kurosaki-san!" Kira Izuru cheered at the man. "Do that famous pose from your article please!"  
"H-Hey, don't bring that up!" Ichigo's cheeks reddened, but the men stared at him relentlessly. "Fine, I get it!" He un-tucked his robes while grumbling about this. "Could have given me some warning though…"

Toushirou stood from his seat at the desk, completely appalled at the scene. "Kurosaki! Don't undress in my office, are you insane?" His outburst went unheard as Ichigo shifted the robes just off his shoulders.

The carrot top raised his right hand to grasp his robes, placing it up to his lips as if he were going to kiss his clothing, of possibly hiding a secretive smile. His left hand came to a more tempting place as it rested against the white sash—lowering it just enough to reveal a fair share of his pubic hair. Chocolate brown hues focused away towards the bookshelves that were behind the small captain against the wall, trying to maintain his annoyance. He waited for them to take the photograph of him, but he could hear them fascinated by the scene in front of them; already entranced by the pose. Ichigo put up with it while he could due to wanting this over with, and all hopes were lost when he stared into staring turquoise hues.

Seeing the intense focus of the man turn his attention towards him had made the captain falter for being caught off guard. Toushirou did not even know how he had found himself staring at the scene as exceptionally good as it was. He sat down almost too quickly to get back to work so that he would not become sucked in as the other males would. Honestly, how were five men engulfed in the sight of a man soaked in water; dripping down from his face to his chest and—. His eyelids shut to get the image out of his mind as he felt his insides twist and turn… almost feeling a little warm somehow. The captain mentally growled at the immediately symptoms he received, causing him to look up to silently blame that man. A firm gaze was still fixated on him though as he was caught looking at him once more in which made it harder for him to breathe at that moment. No one was raising their reiatsu right now, so why was his chest tightening—making it harder and more difficult to breathe. Ichigo was most likely, somehow probably, manipulating him in some manner that he was not aware of right now…

"Can we hurry this up?" Ichigo finally spoke.

"O-Oh, right!" Iba took the picture, and the light flashed.  
"Don't move Ichigo-kun!" Juushirou panicked in fear.  
"That's right! We need several views of this pose!"

The carrot top sighed. "Make it quick then."

Knowing that they were beginning to get on his nerves, they hurriedly took all the shots that they could think of in different spots as Ichigo still stood there. Toushirou could feel the irritation slowly emitting into the air from the posing carrot top, and the men were suddenly finished by thanking him as they ran away. His attention went to the man who grunted in relief as they left so he could fix his shihakusho while he casually came over to his desk. It was hard to make it look like he did not care whatsoever that the man was standing right there in front of him, did he know?

"Don't think I didn't catch that second glance you took in my direction after looking my body up and down." Ichigo spoke with amusement before squatting down in front of the desk to be at eye-level with the little captain, but when he did not receive any reply, he pestered him. "So then, did you like the show?"

He bristled at the questions and changed the subject. "You're cleaning the mess that they made."  
This only made the carrot top smirk, "you're not answering me." It was undeniably a teasing method.  
His attention went to the report in front of him. "I wasn't aware that I was under your orders right now."  
"You can't admit that you liked it a little?" The man huffed. "Your stomach didn't flutter a little at all?"  
"Look Kurosaki, I am a man!" He pointed his utensil at him. "Why would I enjoy looking at your body?"

Ichigo then smirked as if he claimed victory. "I said liked, not enjoyed." He stood up and straightened his clothes a little more as he kept watch on the now frozen captain who seemed like he was caught in a lie.  
"Could it be that you are like my fans on Earth whose stomachs did twists and little flips? That your chest had even tightened as if you could not breathe while you felt tingly sensations inside or something?" This earned him a hard glare from the captain who did not seem to like everything that he was saying. "Don't ask, it's just what Rukia and Renji say when they see me do that pose when I did this as a job."

Hearing that he had a job took Toushirou by surprise. "Since when have you had the capability to work?"

"Ah… I wanted to be dependent and not ask help for the apartment or college and university finances. So I found an idiot photographer who wanted to use me as a model, and I took the job." Ichigo leaned on the back of the couch closest to the desk, crossing his arms as he continued. "For a year I dealt with being a model as a part-time job, then Jii-san heard that I took a job that could interfere with my duties as a great and awesome Shinigami Substitute." He grinned. "It's a pain for him, but he's paying me in kan, and has Urahara-san convert it to yen so I can use the money on Earth. That's pretty much the story of it really."

"Soul Society spoils you," the captain sighed tiredly, going back to work.

"You still haven't answered my question." Ichigo stated quietly.  
He looked at him. "Did you ask a question in your history review?"  
"Did you, or did you not, like when I posed. Or, _enjoyed_, rather?"  
"You're still ranting about that?" His hand swayed. "Get out."  
"There's nothing you can do if I stayed." The man grinned.

"Will you leave if I give you an answer then?" Toushirou received a nod, causing him to think of his words wisely. He did not like it because it made his body feel foreign, but he did not, _dislike_, it either for some strange reason. His mind tried to determine what to say, and chose the latter. "I didn't, dislike it, that's all."

Ichigo smiled a little warmly. "The deals that I made were simple, Rangiku-san and the other women in their club were to watch over Momo while I'm stuck on Earth with school. Ukitake-san and the other men in their club were to watch over her too, but he has to take care of the paperwork for the Fifth Squad since you're in my world working." He crossed his arms again. "I figured that it would be a good deal for us."

"Yes…" Toushirou did not realize how clever this man had become. "…it is."

* * *

"Finally, home sweet home!" Ichigo stretched tiredly. "Guess I have to make dinner though."

The two had just returned after having the day off in Soul Society—well, sort of; Toushirou used his free time to catch up on his squad, and Ichigo had to model. Both of them were tired even though only one of them visibly admitted to the defeat of needing rest since they were awakened after four hours of sleep. It surprised the captain to hear that the host was actually going to make dinner when he obviously just had the desire of going to bed. There was no doubt in his mind that the only reason he was going to fix some dinner was that he was a guest in his apartment.

"Kurosaki," he called out as the man walked towards the kitchen. "You don't have to cook."  
A slight worried expression hit his face because of this. "You don't want anything to eat?"  
"Not really, and your exhausted." Toushirou quickly added. "There's watermelon, right?"  
"Are you sure? I can fix something like ramen or—" his offers were interrupted now.  
"Kurosaki," he spoke firmly. "Go to bed, I will be doing the same shortly after."  
"Well, if you're sure." Ichigo saw him nod. "Alright, thanks, night Toushirou."

He growled lowly as the host walked down the hall. "It's Hitsugaya-taichou to you."

All of a sudden, the one who was walking down the hall had turned around and walked straight towards the one who had the last say. This made Toushirou take a few steps back and bump against a wall behind him as the other placed his hands against the wall above the other's head. Aware that this was an attempt to show a sign of dominance and power over the smaller one, both kept themselves firm. There was one thing that did not make sense; Ichigo's eyes showed no sign or trying to be assertive over him.

"Do you really hate it when I call you like this, Toushirou?" The Strawberry asked softly in a caring voice.  
Hearing the foreign tone almost made him shutter, but remained strong. "It's my title, Kurosaki, that's all."  
There was a long silence before he spoke. "Is that really the only reason?" His voice… he sounded hurt.  
"What good is my title if subordinates don't use it?" He had to slip away somehow. "I'm going to bed—"  
"I'm not your subordinate though." Toushirou froze. "Does it bother you that I want to be your friend?"

"It's not like that Kurosaki, if anything, you have everyone's trust…" he then sorely added, "including my own." The hands from above his head slid down. "A taichou should not trust someone like you who is an outsider of Soul Society. However," Toushirou spoke quickly, watching the man flicker at the statement. "I know you will become a taichou in the future, but it doesn't change the fact that I have a title, Kurosaki."

"What good is a title, if you don't have one person to call your friend?" His voice was now a little stern, as if harmed by the words. "Would you admit you're friends with Momo? With Rangiku-san even?" He asked.  
"Why are you suddenly trying to get involved into my business?" It was annoying being asked all of this.  
"Because you make it sound like you would have _nothing_ without your title." Ichigo watched him gasp sharply as turquoise hues widened in shock—in fear. "But you know that it isn't true, right, Toushirou?"  
"I…" he paused, trying to regain his composure. "I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to flee.

Ichigo grabbed his wrist as he tried to slip away from him. "What's this, a taichou running away from being confronted?" The captain then looked at him, mentally begging to be released. "You're never alone, there are those who will try to stay at your side, even if the rules fight their desires, but remember this." He saw the small one staring at him, waiting on edge. "I'm not a full-fledged Shinigami, I can go through Hell and back again, just to remind you that you're not alone." His hand released his wrist. "I don't care how strong you are, if you fall, I will help you up. If you laugh, I'll join you. But if you become perverted… good luck!"

"Kurosaki!" Toushirou's cheeks became a deep shade of red. "You're such a bastard! Who would want a friend like you anyhow? You always say the right things, but in the end, you pull off something stupid!"

"That's because," his hand rustled through the little one's hair, "that's what friends are for."

Toushirou was about to smack his hand away, but it was as if he read his mind by removing his hand to walk down the hall and into his bedroom to sleep. If that man were not so important to Soul Society, he would have probably killed him over fifteen years ago; it was a lie, just a dream on his end. There was not one person in Soul Society that Toushirou knew whom hated Ichigo so much to try and kill him; however, there was a psychotic scientist that wanted a piece of him. His hand came up to fix his now messy hair due the tired man's attention to it, and grumbled about how irritating he was most of the time.

Despite how annoying this man could be, how completely absurd and ridiculously obnoxious he was, it was obvious that he had changed a _little_ over the years. Ichigo was still probably the most reliable man to call a friend—the thought alone made the captain growl and head to the kitchen for a slice of delicious watermelon. The unnerving sensation of that Adjuchas leveled Menos appeared behind him through a garganta that opened in the kitchen. It looked at the captain with a cold glare, testing him to attack him in order to get into trouble; this was one of Kurosaki's… pets, right?

_'Might as well try,'_ Toushirou thought bitterly. "He's in his bedroom." The creature then walked off.

After quickly eating the watermelon, not receiving the chance to enjoy or savor the flavor of it as he usually would, and heading down the hall. He could hear them talking to one another about the situation from last night when that drunken officer touched Momo last night. There was plenty of praise in the air for protecting the delicate female, and for it obeying her to not devouring the officer who did the crime. It growled with please, and annoyance, then requested if it could eats souls or something as a reward for its restraints the other night. As Toushirou was about to walk away before being caught, he heard Ichigo grunt as if now standing up, and his reiatsu seemed a little firmer in the air.

"You remember those damn beasts that have an eye on Momo?" Ichigo's voice was fearless.  
The Menos growled lightly. "Do you want them to keep an eye on them again though she isn't here?"  
"No… I need them on standby," he paused, thinking on something. "Send _her_ on the job to watch them."  
"She won't be pleased to know she's on a petty mission, are you sure you want to risk her fury, Ichigo?"  
"Their interest is Toushirou, if they touch him, I give her permission to kill them." His answer was startling.  
The Menos laughed. "So you don't trust the boy to cover his ass? Or don't trust him to obey you?"  
"I trust him," he stated instantly. "Her, no. Those men, no. This would be a good test on her."

The captain made himself appear. "I want an explanation from you and your pet, Kurosaki."

"Now Toushirou, do you really want to go against orders by telling you?" Ichigo mused, walking over to pet the creatures head. "I'm a little surprised though that you were eavesdropping." He looked at the Adjuchas leveled Menos as it looked at him in turn. "Inform her that I will kill her if she does not listen."

With that stated, it left the apartment.

Ichigo was not off the hook. "Kurosaki, I—"  
"Go to bed." He frowned at him. "Please…"  
The captain was taken aback. "What do—"  
"Trust me, and just go to bed now, please."

* * *

It has been two days since Toushirou had seen that creature, making him think that Ichigo must have said something to keep its distance. Right now, the small captain leaned against a tree with a bag of two small lunches for him and his host; it was something to keep him occupied. About twelve Hollow appeared all day yesterday, and it was because Ichigo was stressed out about his paperwork that he had to correct. He was unfortunately taking the advice of Momo who told him to bring Ichigo his meal because that would surely make him happy. That was why he was here doing such a nice deed for the man; so that he would possibly be happy and not think of anything stressful.

"Ah, there you are!" A voice called, earning Toushirou's attention, seeing the boy. "He said you would be here…" The boy, the one that belonged to those thugs, panted. "K-Kurosaki-san… said to get you…" He placed his hands on his knees, trying to get himself to breathe. "We were talking and the man attacked."

_'Kurosaki can handle them all on his own, but…'_ Toushirou did not need Gillian running around the town. "Where is he?" The boy pointed and said the parking lot, and he dropped the lunches. "Thank you."

He ran off to the area that he was pointed to, but for some reason his reiatsu was only becoming farther away—maybe Kon was in his human body and Ichigo was out somewhere. After arriving to the parking lot, there were no signs of people, or a fight for that matter, perhaps he just went to the wrong spot? A chuckle came from in front of him that directed his full attention… it was a man with four claw marks on his face as if attacked by an animal. There was something that did not feel right about this situation, so he heeded Ichigo's order's to turn to run away from the scene while he could—but his arms were grabbed. It was a set up; that boy knew he would come to Kurosaki's aid, and now he was grabbed by two men, only to see a third place a cloth over his nose and mouth. This would have been so much easier if he was not in the gigai, but he could not get out it with his arms being held so he cannot escape.

Turquoise hues rolled to the back of his head as he fell unconscious.

"We're going to get rich off this guy while Kurosaki Ichigo hunts us down for him." The leader chuckled.  
One spoke confusedly. "What if he doesn't come and thinks that the kid just left him without permission?"  
"Good idea, empty his pockets." A fifth man did as told, who seemed surprised. "What's the matter?"  
"He only has a brand new cell phone and some weird candy." The man answered, setting them down.  
"Whatever, the phone will give him the idea." The leader announced. "Let's get outta here while we can!"

As the group fled the scene with Toushirou in hand, two creatures watched from above them in the sky.

"Kurosaki-sama will kill you for disobeying." A male voice called to the female that was his height.  
She looked over at the one questioning. "That brat deserves it, for disobeying Kurosaki-sama."  
"That isn't your choice to make." He sighed and ignored the situation. "Good luck explaining this."  
Once he disappeared, she watched the scene a little longer. "No one disobeys Kurosaki-sama…"

Finished watching the humans carry the captain she despised so much, she turned to leave this world.


	5. Chapter 5

**WARNING: **There is implied rape and sexual abuse in this chapter and possibly a little in the beginning of the next one; if you are uncomfortable with that, please wait patiently for the next chapter.** If you do not like it, do not read it.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 05**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

He stood next to the bag on the grass to see two store bought meals next to the tree that he had eaten a meal with the vertically challenged captain. There was no doubt in his mind that Toushirou was there since his reiatsu was still lingering in the air faintly; must have left about three hours ago. After picking up the bag of food, he began to follow the faint trail of reiatsu that led him to the parking lot where he found the gikongan and the brand new cell phone. Both were placed in his pocket while he began following the trail of reiatsu that then disappeared as he came to the sidewalk next to a street as if he went in a vehicle. Knowing that the captain did not know how to use a taxi made him all the more suspicious of the clues that were not like Toushirou; this was uncharacteristic, and too much like a mind game.

Nevertheless, instead of jumping to any conclusions, he began to trail whatever reiatsu to find him.

* * *

The scent of alcohol and cigars burnt through his nose as the sounds of endless chatters and laughter entered through his ears as he stirred. Something extreme hot was beaming down on him though he was aware that it was not sunlight—it felt as if it were Ichigo's heat lamp bearing its rays. Did he fall asleep to have him carry his body back to the apartment… no, there were too many things that did not feel right. Searching his mind, he could barely recall that boy Ichigo treated, then running into the parking lot to be ambushed by the group he was told to avoid. His eyes slowly opened to see what was around him, only to see a room full of men and women looking at him as he began feeling a draft.

_'Damn it… I feel like Hell…'_ He tried to get up and felt his wrist bound behind him and something against his forearms as if being held. _'What is going on?'_ He looked at the floor that his feet barely touched, and witnessed that he was not clothed at all; his body exploited. "What the Hell is this! What is going on!"

"Ah! It seems our new pet has awakened!" A man called, and it silenced the crowd. "Feisty too, isn't he?"  
"You bastards, untie me, what do you what with me!" Being stripped was completely uncalled for.  
"We were going to play a game with Kurosaki, but when we found out you had a virgin body, it changed."  
This angered him. "If you want to go after Kurosaki, fight him fairly and not drag others into it, Imbecile!"

"I can't do that, you see… he damages our business too much. He lives in the apartments where all of the street kids we take are." The man with his scarred face clapped his hands. "Kurosaki just got out of class, an hour ago meaning he'll find your cell phone in the parking lot, hopefully you're something important…"

Toushirou calmed down, understanding that he was the bait. "If you release me and return my clothes, I'll do my best to convince Kurosaki to show you _some_ mercy." He knew Ichigo was very protective recently.

"Nice try kid," the then looked to the audience. "Alright, sorry, the boy had been drugged just to get him here, so let's start the introductions!" Two men that held the captain took a step back. "As you can see by his fair skin, this little guy is obviously a virgin in the back!" Two more men came over, grabbing his legs to reveal his male organ and rear directly in view of everyone in the audience. "Sadly, this little guy can't be sold to anyone—however, you can always pay to use his body, if you don't mind his fits—"

"Unhand me!" Toushirou jerked one leg away to kick the man holding his other leg. _'Damn all of this!'_

He began raising his reiatsu as much as possible for Ichigo to find him, and his body was then thrown on his stomach against the floor. His body had already felt like lead that took all of its strength to get those two men off him so they would stop exposing his body to the world. The captain was just about to yell at them, but something entered through his backside as a sharp pain took his breath right out of his lungs. Toushirou bottom ached as he dared to think what just inserted him from behind as the other two men released his arms, but replaced with two hands on his hips to push even farther in.

"Oh yeah… nice and tight!" The man told everyone. "Damn… I should just keep him for myself!"  
"I'll give ten million yen to sleep with his body!" A man called out, waving a stack of money in the air.  
"Hah!" A woman sneered. "I'll pay fifty million yet to use his body for the night in a decent bedroom!"  
"All in good time dear customers!" The man stated, pounding into the small one. "We need to train him!"

Another man, the one who had been kicked in the face, lifted up a clipboard. "Just come up here and sign these papers and pay your amount, starting tomorrow, you all will pay half ahead of schedule, and pay the rest before your time with the child!" Dozens began to line up. "Good, good! Today we'll teach him some manners in no time! See how well behaved he's being right now? Come now, come all, it's okay!"

_'D-Damn it…'_ Toushirou gritted his teeth and kept his mouth shut as his body was being violated—his body then flipped around with the man still deep inside him. _'I would kill you if I could…'_ He knew the man wanted him to vocalize pain, but would not give him want he wanted, earning a flick of a finger against his hardening length that came from nowhere. _'I… I can't let Kurosaki see me like this…' _His reiatsu dimmed down to nothing to make sure Ichigo could not get any closer, wherever that man was at this moment. _'He would laugh… and rub this in my face…'_ The captain closed his eyes. _'Damn the irony of all of this crap.'_

The one single order that Kurosaki Ichigo gave him, was not obeyed, and this was his punishment for it.

_'…forgive me… Kurosaki.'_

* * *

Ichigo had felt his reiatsu going as high as it could while being on a limiter, which was what he had been following for the past hour on foot. Then the strangest thing happened, it died down to nothing—as if he had vanished; perhaps he decided that he would go to Soul Society. If that was the case, there was no reason for him to roam the night like a predator hunting for its next me, so he turned and went home. It was still odd to him though, everything leading to this was unlike Toushirou, even though there were many things he did not know about him. Was this about Saturday night when they talked about being friends, was he trying to rub this all in his face or something? He placed everything down as soon as he came home, noting that he did not see those thugs outside pestering others right now… it was different.

"Toushirou… you here?" He knew that there would be no response, but had to ask anyway. "Maybe I should head to Soul Society tomorrow morning and apologize for upsetting him then." The man came over to the communicator that he then turned on. "I would like to speak with Rangiku-san of the Tenth Squad immediately with no questions asked." Ichigo did not mean to snap; he was tired and irritated.

The poor person receiving the order fumbled and fell over as he tried to get things set up while also trying to summon the large breasted woman to an active transmitter. It could not be helped that he was frightened by the unannounced request so late at night, and perhaps Rangiku was asleep or something as well. A few seconds later, the channel changed to reveal a thrilled woman—only to be gloomy once seeing his face. Instantly Ichigo was aware that she was hoping to see her captain's face more than his own, which meant that it was possible he did not leave Earth yet.

"Ichigo, did you two get into a fight or something?" The woman complained instantly.  
His brow rose with interest. "What would make you ask a ridiculous thing like that?"  
"Taichou won't answer my calls since I told him your pictures look great together!"  
_'He didn't return.'_ He thought about it. "We had a little argument, we're not talking."  
"What? Why! Go make up with him!" Rangiku roared, easily breaking his eardrums.

"You know what I'll do?" Ichigo asked curiously, smiling softly at her. "I'll let him settle down for a little while longer before I apologize to him, alright?" He carelessly shrugged. "Well… that _is_, so long as you and everyone else don't come over here and try to fix things. We all know how cranky Toushirou can be."

"Okay! I'll make sure everyone will stay here and not bug you!" She was thrilled to hear his plans.

Ichigo changed the subject. "On another note, how is Momo doing? Is she eating well?"  
"Yes, she's doing well." The woman answered him with a smile. "She's sleeping well too!"  
"That's good to hear, I appreciate everything that you're doing. Toushirou appreciates it too."  
"So you're going to talk to him tonight?" She smiled with excitement, in hopes of their friendship.

The male resisted having to flinch at this. "He's probably asleep right now, I wouldn't want to disturb him." It was truth, Toushirou was probably sleeping somewhere. "I will talk to him at the first chance that I get." He brought a hand up to his mouth, giving a fake yawn. "As for you, you need to get some sleep as well."

"Ichigo…" She called softly, earning his full attention. "I really appreciate you doing this."  
This took him by surprise since he had not done anything to deserve praise. "Doing what?"  
"Trying to get through to him." Rangiku laughed softly. "He really does put his faith in you…"

His chest felt knotted when hearing this, but he cleared his throat to wash any visible guilt, "goodnight."

The transmission ended, and he rubbed his face to throw off his agitation.

Toushirou was not at the university…

Not at the parking lot where he found the cell phone…

When he found a trace of his reiatsu, it instantly vanishes and stops him…

"Getting angry won't find Toushirou…" Everything made sense to him now, only making him angrier by the second. "He was raising his reiatsu to tell me where he is, damn it." The trail was probably cold now, but he was exhausted from classes, and he would have to skip tomorrow as well just to find him. "Why did he go somewhere without telling me… if he's testing me… he's doing one Hell of a job at it." He lied down to go to bed. "Either way, I can't do anything if I'm not well rested." His eyes closed, and he fell asleep.

Never knowing what was happening…

* * *

His body ached and throbbed as he lied on his side against the cold concrete curled into a ball to cover himself to keep whatever pride he had left. Arms and hands were bound together, making it impossible for him to escape the gigai, otherwise he would have done it hours ago. All he knew was that it was late at night with all five men somewhere sleeping in comfortable rooms after throwing themselves on him. It was all burned into memory; the painful feeling, the horrid taste, everything was so disgusting that he just wanted to burn this body. Nothing could become any worse unless it was Kurosaki Ichigo that came walking in suddenly to find him lying naked on the floor in some cell—

"Have you learned your lesson?" A female voice called after a garganta opened.

Toushirou's eyes widened in remarkable dreaded fear as his head lifted up. "You…"  
Piercing green hues stared down at him coldly. "You disobeyed Kurosaki-sama."  
"Kuro—" he almost sat up but remembered his situation. "It was you then…"

"I was order to be your protector, but you needed to be disciplined." She then firmly kicked him in the stomach, causing him to cough out blood from the impact of her foot. "I was born through sacrifices, and therefore I'm willing to sacrifice myself to teach you a lesson about your attitude towards Kurosaki-sama."

What was her name… she was not like this the last time they had met—she had been killed by Aizen Sousuke… but what did she call herself? Her body showed that she was no longer something so high and powerful, and instead, an Adjuchas leveled Menos like the other. Her blonde hair… her fierce green cold hues… the Hollow bones covering her face as it once did before—the name finally clicked.

"…Tia Harribel…" Toushirou seethed, almost wanting to laugh. "You were _summoned_ to protect me?"  
"I was, but your attitude towards Kurosaki-sama is unforgivable." She answered, ready to kick him.  
He curled up more in case she did just that. "What are you going on about, that's how we are."  
"After your reiatsu died, he went home to go to sleep." Harribel snorted. "You're nothing to him."  
"Somehow, it seems my life has more valuable to him than yours do." He chuckled; earning a kick.

Another garganta opened, a small child appearing. "Harribel, Stark said to come get you!"  
"Humph," she took a step away from the captain. "Is there another fight, Lilinette?"  
"No, Kurosaki-sama gave us orders to block off all paths to Karakura Town."  
"What?" It did not sound like she had expected this sort of news from her.

"Grimmjow said that Kurosaki-sama wants the gates to Karakura Town to be blocked off until he finds Chibi-taichou." The small female stated. "If you're there helping, you might not get in trouble. He just wants to make sure Shinigami won't come looking for Chibi-taichou to make sure he's there." She then shrugged. "I don't know… something about not wanting them to accuse him of betraying Soul Society."

"H-How are you two alive?" Toushirou could not believe his eyes.

There was a long silence between the three, and the small female that had appeared through a garganta did not once look at Toushirou or step foot on the ground. She knew that, if she did either, that she was in high chances of getting herself and Stark killed for associating themselves in Harribel's plot. However, Toushirou's question needed to be answered or else he would cause grief for Kurosaki Ichigo, the one that placed himself on the line for them.

"A Shinigami wouldn't understand," Lilinette stated. "We were given power by that bastard, Aizen. Only to be killed and not cared about." Her head dipped down. "Kurosaki-sama… he feels our true pain of it—"  
"Don't confess everything to him," Harribel hissed at the short one. "He is, after, just a stupid Shinigami."  
"I came here to do as told, I have no part in this." With that, the other left through a garganta in silence.  
"Kurosaki-sama revived us, but returned to our previous forms since the Hougyoku no longer exists." She stated before opening the garganta for herself. "Therefore, we serve Kurosaki-sama, unconditionally…"

"So then… he only revived four of you…" Toushirou could count them, Stark, Lilinette, Harribel, and that Grimmjow they mentioned. "That four-legged Menos that watches Hinamori must be Kurosaki's favorite."

"Four?" Harribel seemed mused. "His _favorite_ pet, has yet to be summoned."

"There's five?" He then winced; yelling hurt his body.

"Until you swear on your pathetic life that you will treat Kurosaki-sama with respect, I will let these petty humans do whatever they want with you." She then half-laughed. "Unfortunately, the only thing that I _cannot_ let them do, is to let them kill you. Luckily, you Shinigami are resilient when it comes to death."

Harribel then walked through the garganta to allow the little captain to think things through during his own time since it seemed that he would have a lot of it on his hands. Who would have thought that Kurosaki Ichigo would have several former Espada as 'pets,' as they were calling them apparently. That was what Rangiku had meant, so that meant that there were four others that were aware about these …pets… excluding her. One was obviously Momo since that Grimmjow creature jumped through Soul Society to protect her from the drunken officer. Two others would have to be Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji since Ichigo could not keep things from them—as if he would try though. The last one _had_ to be the Commanding-General due to recalling the conversation that they had during that second day when Toushirou was introduced to the university. They had to be the four that were aware of it, though it seemed that Rangiku knew what she was getting herself into, and now Toushirou joined the little club.

"My body hurts too much to think… I just… need… to…" overexerted, Toushirou collapsed. "Sleep…"

After he collapsed, another garganta opened, revealing a new pair of firm looking dark green hues that held no emotion. It looked over the captain as its tail flickered around rapidly due to the desire to kill him just because it was Hollow instincts. However, the only reason why it was there to check upon things was to let Ichigo know that Harribel was up to something mischievous due to jealousy. After all calculations were mentally drawn up in his mind, he turned and left the cell to give the report of Harribel's actions.

"You are indeed, one unlucky Shinigami." It stated before leaving through the garganta.

Toushirou, whom was still sleeping uncomfortably against the concrete floor, was completely oblivious.

* * *

It was five in the morning, the sun's rays barely touching the horizon though enough to lead him through the morning after waking up two hours ago. He did his usual routine of taking a morning shower despite it being three hours earlier than he usually would, and ate a piece of toast. Brown hues were not pleased about the fact that the small captain not there; it had only been five days since he had to live here. Now he was nowhere to be found and his things were not in his possession, so Ichigo had to think about the situation a little more. His mind retraced everything while he was asleep due to his Hollow side, and the scents of other that touched the cell phone came to him; those thugs. That was why he woke so earlier today and began the hunt after meeting his most trusted _pet_ who warned him of the danger he was in.

_'I'll deal with Harribel later.'_ He thought to himself, retracing his steps from yesterday, backtracking to the point where he stopped his search. _'Of course…'_ He looked up to the sign. _'Somewhere in Tokyo, huh?'_

Ichigo passed through the border, not bothering to go in his Shinigami form because he would most likely need to attack humans. Not to mention that he would need to keep his anger contained if he did not want any Hollow to terrorize the area while he was busy. The men took the little vertically challenged captain out of the town to somewhere, forcing him to play their game of chase now. He thought Toushirou was at least smart enough to listen to him—to the one single order that he gave him, but he had to wait. There were no reasons as to judge the situation without knowing what had truly happened, until then, he had to reserve judgment for a while. This was not going to be ending well on one side or the other, and Ichigo could swear on his life that it was not going to be his side losing. The carrot top only now regretted never going after them; never following the group to the place where they were operating their disgusting plots.

His hand lifted to snap his fingers to summon his— _'No…'_ he thought to himself quietly as he lowered his hand. _'If Toushirou is in trouble, he wouldn't want them to get involved with them.'_ Ichigo continued forth through Tokyo, only to be bumped into every now and then. _'Damn it… it's too crowded in this city.'_

Before he knew it, his Hollow side began to heighten, causing him to make a sharp turn in an alleyway to find the scent he found on the ground. Toushirou's blood, just trickles of it that was obviously planted to throw him off because there was nothing that he could trace that had anything spiritual. This made him angrier than he was a minute ago as he became to walk out of the alley dangerously and down the street.

His blood was boiling with each step that he made as these beasts were playing with him since they knew that he was some _enhanced_ human. Another person bumped into him, but he did not falter in which had the man fall over in complaint to his rudeness that went unheard. He felt himself becoming angrier by the second until he saw a large garganta opening above his head, and so he snapped his fingers, it vanished.

"I know that you're listening." Ichigo stated firmly in a low whisper. "Devour all who come for my reiatsu."

The creature then flew above his head to stand on a building, watching over the _Master_ that it had that replaced its previous owner. Large green hues were now focused on its very first instructed order in seventeen long years that it had been long awaiting for. Ten Hollow then appeared in a group due to the delicious sensation of Ichigo's reiatsu that was leaking out, and they were all annihilated instantly. Nothing was going to interfere with its order of destroying any life force, dead or alive, that went after this man…

Its attention flickered when feeling itself being summoned by another that was back in Karakura Town, however, it did not falter to ignore the call. True, if it were not for her, they would not have been created again and given a chance to ignore the world Aizen Sousuke created. The only thing was that she was given the request to do the task, and with them bared her loyalty while they gave her some respect. They knew though that they would have to choose Kurosaki Ichigo over Inoue Orihime without a thought after everything that he was doing for them. Plans had been set and in motion, given them immunity from the Shinigami so long as they minded their own business and backed off.

Another group of Hollow appeared and struck down instantly.

"Foolish primitive creatures…" It spoke with a male tone, flickering his tail before jumping from building to building as Ichigo passed them one by one, watching over him just in case. "I will not fail this simple task."

Ichigo almost smirked when hearing him say this. _'He's surprisingly pumped that I gave him something to do after never giving him an order after all this time.'_ This was somewhat planned even thought there was a lot more to it than just some petty neglecting purpose. _'Sorry Inoue, but I need him to destroy all Hollow and Menos upon sight so that Soul Society won't catch wind of the disturbance.'_ He kept on walking forth.

A Hollow then appeared in front his face, only to be cut down before Ichigo had to stop in place, it was a shame that he had killed him once before. On the other hand, having killed him and interesting him had made him all the more obedient and submissive—the others were the same. After having made a deal with the Commanding-General in Soul Society, they were allowed to live despite what they were once used for. Five of them were granted permission to flow through the barrier because Ichigo trusted them the most, however, only two were allowed to enter that realm. As stated previously, Grimmjow was the guardian watching over Momo, and was allowed to defend her or take actions in her favor. Stark and Lilinette would stay outside of the realm to make sure no one would attempt a surprise attack on Soul Society as rare as that was—they still had enemies. Harribel was more of a wanderer whom kept things under control in Hueco Mundo; making sure that the Gillian would not produce too many Adjuchas.

_'As for you,'_ Ichigo thought, staring at the fifth creature. "Keep up the good work, Ulquiorra."  
Ulquiorra Schiffer turned to look at him. "Yes, my Lord." With that, flew into the sky.  
_'Hang in there, Toushirou, I'm coming soon.'_ He stated in his mind.

* * *

"Hey Chibi," the scar-faced man called, Toushirou glared. "Kurosaki ain't gonna find you." The captain did not speak, and he continued. "After all, you're almost half way across the damn country, got it, Chibi?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 06**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

It had been four excruciating days in this prison where men and women would use his body day and night without his consent to any of this. They branded him by placing one of those stupid bracelets on his right ankle and began calling him 'Chibi' and 'Pet' everyday. He would not tell them his name so that they could not soil it—in fact, he had not spoken since his first 'training session' as the called it. An hour ago, he had to _service_ a large man that was the size of a sumo wrestler who gave no remorse for his small figure. It hurt—everything hurt; each time a man would use him for their sexual desires, he would bleed from the tearing inside of him. They were all savages that saw him as a piece of meat, and what was worse, he could not escape this Hell no matter how much he wanted to.

No one would remove the binds on his arms and wrists, they enjoyed watching him struggle for his survival as he would not eat the food that gave him because he would not stuff his face. Since there was a pipe leak in his cell, he could shift over and get a few drops each minute—more so if someone would run the water in the kitchen above him. This was Hell for him, there was no facility for him to use, making him go in a corner and sleep somewhere far away from it so he would not think of all the pride and dignity that he was losing. If he would ever see Kurosaki Ichigo again, he would apologize everyday for the rest of his life and let him call him whatever he wanted, even Pervert. Harribel would come every night and smack him around to make sure that he would receive a good punishment for his disobedience. In a way, he understood her protectiveness towards the Strawberry, especially when everyone would be protective.

"Chibi," a man called, unlocking his cage. "It's time for your public performance of the day."

Two men came in to grab his arms roughly as a third came in and gave him a shot in the arm to drug him as they would to make sure he was obediently. He still attempted to fight to stay in the cell because this was the one part of the day that he did not want to deal with; humiliation in front of a full room that could fit five hundred people easily. They threw him out so he would crash against the hallway before grabbing him again to head out onto the first floor where he then could sense _him_. His head jerked up and began to fight as much as possible to make sure that he would not get up on that stage if he was this close by. If he was seen like this, there was no telling what would happen—but he knew that above all else, he was not going to be happy with what he sees in any way.

"Untie me and give me my clothes or forfeit your lives." Toushirou spoke rashly, breaking his silence.  
The men chuckled at him. "No way, we're getting twice as much money off you than we ever did."  
"I'm not joking you imbecile!" He yelled at them seriously. "Kurosaki is on his way here and—"  
The leader punched him in the gut. "Oh shut up, be a good boy, and stay quiet. Honestly…"

_'Why don't I want Kurosaki to find me…?'_ He thought to himself, catching his breath. _'Being seen by Kurosaki is a better option than this...'_ The truth was, he was scared—terrified even. No one here knew who he was and knew his body, but he _knew_ Kurosaki who would see everything. _'If it means freedom…'_

They got on the stage, and placed him against a table to make the set up seem nicer for the audience to see some action. This humiliation had to stop now or else he would go insane, so his reiatsu began to rise immensely just before the man stuck a finger inside. Pain surged through him, it hurt too much that the wind was still knocked out of him, but felt the next finger insert and caress something inside him. Just bear with it a little longer, he only needed a few more minutes at the most as he could feel Ichigo's reiatsu flare with hate and anger. The fingers escaped his rectal, and felt something rub against it—there he was, he could feel him outside of the building, and he gritted as he shoved backwards to get the man off.

Toushirou fell over on the ground because of the drugs. "It looks like your time is up."

Before the men could bother asking what nonsense he was spilling, the doors to the front exploded by what Toushirou knew was a cero. "Sorry I'm late," it was his voice as he was coming in, "tracking you by foot was harder than I thought it would be." Kurosaki Ichigo came into sight. "Nice hideout though—"

Brown hues stopped at the site of everything, men and women now standing from their seats, six men on the stage, one with white colored hair. Seeing the small captain on the ground with no clothing stirred him into even more rage than a moment ago before pulling out his gun. Before anyone could scream in fear, he shot the five thugs in the forehead as he ran over and jumped on the stage to be at Toushirou's side.

"…took you long enough." The captain whispered.

This set him off as he yelled. "Ulquiorra! Kill them all!"

As the crowd heard this, they left their seats instantly and ran for their lives towards the exits, only to be slaughtered without knowing what happened. While they were being killed, Ichigo removed the binds from the small one's body before peeling off his hooded sweatshirt for the small one to wear. Before he could offer it, he watched Toushirou use his arms to cover himself from his sight, and he understood. He stood up from ground and dropped the sweater on the captain, telling him to cover up while he was not looking.

"Grimmjow!" Ichigo roared, and the panther-like creature appeared. "Destroy this facility to the ground."  
"Understood," he began to leave, but paused to look at him. "Do you want a garganta opened for you?"  
"Yes," a portal was opened, and he heard Toushirou trying to stand. He looked to him. "Can I carry you?"  
Screw pride and dignity… he had none left. "Yes…" the captain answered. "They drugged me heavily."

Ichigo came over and bent down to pick up the captain who had only a sweater as protection to his body, but he was taken back. The captain wrapped his arms around his neck, making it a little easier to have the taller male pick him up as Grimmjow began to walk through the garganta. After they were escorted to Karakura Town, Grimmjow left to do the task that was demanded of him, but Toushirou looked. This was the university that his savior goes to school at… what were they doing here, why not at the apartment?

"Toushirou," Ichigo called softly. "I know you don't want to, but you need to get checked out."  
"I've been humiliated enough." He was not trying to disobey, he was just stating facts.  
His nodded softly. "I understand, but if they sexually—" he watched him flinch.  
There was a long pause, but he hid his face. "I've been humiliated enough."

"I will check you myself, no one else should be in the university this late at night." He received no answer from him. "Have they assaulted you?" A weak nod. "Have they penetrated you?" A pause, then a nod. "I can take you to a preparation room to check you, or we can go home. But you could be eternally injured."

Who knew how long Ichigo stood there waiting for any sign of an answer, but it was obvious that he would stand there until he was told what to do. Turquoise hues turned to the university before nodded weakly; reluctantly agreeing to be checked on because he was in unbearable pain. On another note for that matter, Ichigo was a medical student, and so he would know what to do to help him without having to go to Soul Society to seek help from Unohana Retsu. If anyone else he knew about what he had been through over the past few days other than Kurosaki Ichigo, he would die on the spot. They entered the university and went to the second floor to a room that had a medical bed that was for testing purposes.

Ichigo shifted the captain in one arm to place an unused sheet on the bed before lying him down rather than sitting him down. "I'll let you keep the sweater on for now, alright?" He received a weak nod again. "Okay, do I have permission to check your body, both externally and internally? I need to know it's okay."

Eyes were shut tightly as he nodded again.

"Sorry, I would let you sleep while I do this, but you're heavily drugged." The Strawberry lifted his head to place a pillow under his head of white hair. "Look at me," it took a moment, but was obliged to, "I need you to stay still as I examine you, if you move around, I will stop and have to strap you down unless you tell me to discontinue, do you understand?" He received another nod. "Toushirou, tell me in your words."

"…I understand." Said male closed his eyes and turned away. "Don't… don't tell…"

"Even if you told me to, I would not breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll take this to my grave and then some." Ichigo got up and placed some gloves on while catching eye of the bracelet. _'I should have killed them all myself, those bastards.'_ He grabbed a stool and went to the end of the bed by the captain's feet. "Let me know whenever you want me to stop, I won't force you to continue the examination, understand?"

"…yes…"

* * *

He shifted slowly under the covers as he tried to use his senses other than his sight; it was nice gently silent area, and it smelt of Ichigo's apartment. Things were coming back to him—humans slaughtered upon an order before taken to the university where he was touched all over again. To his grateful surprise though, his savior's large hands were gentle to the touch and had not once caused him pain in any way. It made him look at him across his body to see the look on the man's face; caring, focused, and as mad as Hell though trying to hide it. After his body was examined and other things were grabbed, Ichigo carried him to the apartment to wash him carefully, and clothed him. Once given a bowl of ramen in bed, he was given some medicine to take before being told to get some rest, everything else he forgot.

His eyes opened and looked to the side to see Kurosaki Ichigo sitting in a chair next to the bed…

He was fast asleep. Toushirou _did_ hear him say that he walked day and night to find him.

The captain began to recall the examination… how his body reacted to his touch.

Toushirou shuttered and sat up—immediately winced loudly at the pain.

Ichigo jolted in the chair and looked over to see what happened, only to see him sitting up. "Toushirou, I said you shouldn't sit up unless it was necessary. You want to heal fast, right?" He received no answer. "Ah… I stayed in here in case you would need something." His body rose to their feet. "I'll leave you—"

A hand grabbed his shirt. "Don't…" he stopped, noticing that he grabbed him, so he let go. "Sorry…"  
"You've been asleep all day, it's Friday evening right now." Ichigo whispered. "Do you feel better?"  
"Just knowing that I'm not there anymore makes me feel better. Thank you for coming for me."  
"Did you doubt that I would?" The other turned away immediately. "I'm sorry for taking long."  
"Tia Harribel…" Toushirou paused, clenching his fists. "She disobeyed you, Kurosaki…"  
"Ulquiorra took care of it. I thought she would do as told… but she was the jealous one."

"I… disobeyed you…" he bowed his head. "I'm sorry… I tried but… they came…"

"You did nothing wrong," Ichigo stated softly, slowly coming to sit against the headboard on the bed, he ran a hand gently through the captain's hair, motioning him to lean back against his chest. "You're safe."

Toushirou wanted to say something to get him away, perhaps even shoving him away, but he embraced the actions tiredly. The hand cautiously lowered to his shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting manner that soothed the captain who hid his face. He was ashamed, humiliated, and all sorts of emotional feelings for being seen exposed like that, but Ichigo had not said a word about it. All the pride and dignity that he had for himself were washed away that left him with little to no self-respect at all, because of what happened.

"I'm sorry I failed you, Toushirou." He whispered softly, feeling the other become shocked at this. "Had I known that they would have ever truly gone after you, I would have killed them earlier." His hand held his shoulder firmly, but still in a gentle way. "I won't let anything else happen to you, you can lean on me."

"Dumbass…" he mumbled against him. "I'm leaning on you right now, aren't I?"  
"You know what I mean Toushirou, I'll listen if you want to talk about anything."  
"If you've been tracking me, what about your classes?" He felt him tense. "Y—"  
"Finding you is more important than a few days of classes." Ichigo stated firmly.  
"Kurosaki… you're classes are to have you graduate." The captain pulled away.

"My career means nothing if I can't share it with my friends." He looked down at the captain who sat slanted to ease the pain. "You know that I do anything to keep you guy's safe, even quitting school."

"You can't—nh!" Toushirou had gotten himself worked up causing pain. "You can't quit, not when you have worked so hard to get as far as you have." He clenched the man's shirt, trying to bear with the pain. "If you quit, it would be my fault because I got caught by those idiots. I won't let you give everything up." His lower half was becoming sore quicker, and he turned on his stomach, his head against Ichigo's chest. "I have the medicine you gave me, so starting next week you're going back to class, no discussion either."

Ichigo nodded softly. "If that's what you want."

Hearing the man say this had him had caught him off guard, causing him to look at him to see if he was being serious or not, and he was. His attention was then redirected as Ichigo grabbed something from the desk to reveal a plate of sliced watermelon—just looking at it had his stomach growl. Once Ichigo set it down on his own lap, he told him to go ahead and eat as much as he wanted since he knew he had to be hungry. He began to reach for one, but leaning on his stomach and half way on this man made it a bit difficult to attempt to eat one. After adjusting to a leaning on his back in a slanted angle to ease the pain on his behind, he leaned back against Ichigo chest, but it was still uncomfortable.

"It's hard to sit, isn't it?" Toushirou flinched, forgetting that the man was there. "If you lay at a slight sit up position against me, you won't have any pressure on your medical condition." He knew that if he called it rectal or anal tearing, it would bring back horrid memories. "It's only a suggestion, but your body would be in a more comfortable position." The Strawberry watched him nod weakly. "That's what you want then?"

"The position itself sounds vulgar, but…" the captain slowly sat up, "if it will ease the pain, I'll do as told." His attention went to the bed covers. "I know that you will not do anything to cause me harm, Kurosaki."  
Ichigo set the plate on the desk before helping the wounded party on his lap—wrapping him loosely with the covers as one would with a towel after soaking. "Get as comfortable as you want, I won't complain."  
"This is actually a lot better, thank you." Still, he shifted his legs to go on the outside of Ichigo's legs since the other way would remind him too much of what happened. "What about you? Are you comfortable?"  
"Don't worry about me, here you go," he placed the plate of watermelon on the small one's lap. "Eat as much as you want, I had Kon buy a few watermelons for you. He bought ten large ones, so…" He sighed.  
"It isn't your fault I was taken, you don't have to feel the need to be guilty, and you don't have to make it up to me." Toushirou grabbed a slice of watermelon. "I didn't obey your direct order, and that happened."  
Anger flickered through him when hearing such an accepting tone, but knew it was a front. "Speaking of orders… wonder how long it'll take for Jii-san to figure out I had Ulquiorra kill hundreds of humans…"  
"We weren't in Karakura Town, right?" His body fully leaned back, resting against the man's chest. "If it's true, then he wouldn't connect the dots. Or tell him the truth… that you were rescuing me from idiots."

"Dummy," Ichigo leaned his forehead against the other's shoulder. "You have no idea how worried I was."

The captain froze when hearing him whisper this to him, but he eventually gained enough courage to look on his shoulder to glance at him. Ichigo's face was hidden through his bright orange colored hair—he could faintly see that his eyelids were shut for some reason though. As if Toushirou did not know why he was resting his head on his shoulder; all he needed to do was remind himself of how hard he searched. How could a human search day and night on foot, searching for someone who would not call him a friend and treat him as if he was inferior.

"I'm sorry… if this scares you…" Ichigo shifted his head to look at him. "Can I borrow your shoulder…?" He saw the confusion. "Don't want to wake up to find out finding you was a dream." Toushirou relaxed.  
"I suppose I can grant you that." If it were not for this man, he would still be in a cell, and being sexually assaulted right now. "By the way…" he set the watermelon down briefly. "Sorry… for kicking your face."  
"Shut up," when examining him, Toushirou kicked him right in the face in fear of being violated, but he was not thinking when he lashed out; fighting. "You can kick and punch me all you want, Toushirou…"  
"Sleep, Kurosaki," Toushirou demanded softly, trying to think things through. "You deserve it after all of the things you did to endlessly search and rescue me from those animals." He picked up the slice again.  
"You haven't complained about my calling you by your name, Toushirou, I hope you didn't get sick while you were there." His forehead went back into place, slowly falling asleep with his shoulder as his pillow.  
"I made a vow to myself, to let you call me by whatever you wanted, if you were to save me…" He heard the man's stomach growl, making him growl at the man. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"…breakfast on Tuesday morning around four in the morning." Ichigo answered honestly.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" His shoulder shifted him up a bit. "Here, take a bite before you starve to death." Ichigo looked at him unhappily for shoving the watermelon in his face, but listened by taking a little bite of the fresh watermelon. "That was pathetic, take at least two large bites or else I'll shove it all down your throat." He watched the man scowl and listened once again by taking two big bites. "Thank you."

"Eat the rest on your now, and don't worry about waking me. It'll be fine no matter what your reason is."

Toushirou watched the man place his forehead on his shoulder once again, this time he instantly fell fast asleep against him. This made him lightly smile because this man had gone beyond his limitations to do everything humanly possible to save him. He understood why he did not chase after him in his Shinigami form; there were misleading clues and something could have been missed. Not to mention that the door breaking down and people suddenly dying while screaming 'ghosts' did not seem fun. The captain knew that Ichigo wanted his face burned into the lifeless eyes of the thugs as he shot them in the head—

The watermelon slice fell onto the plate, causing a loud clanking noise that instantly stirred the host that tried to fall asleep. Ichigo could feel Toushirou's body just shivering in fear as if something had triggered his memories about the past few days. His large callused right hand came from underneath the captain's arm to wrap around him with his own arm, placing it on his left shoulder. He lightly embraced him while trying to hush him into a stable state of mind, and two hands held onto his arm tightly. A few minutes came and went as Toushirou began to ease down before looking at the man, frowning at the sight of him.

Kurosaki Ichigo was dead tired, but was doing his best to stay awake since he was needed. "You don't have to say anything that you don't want to." He whispered. " You don't have to explain anything to me unless that is what you want. But remember," he started softly. "You know I'm here if you need me."

Hearing these words brought tears to his eyes as much as he tried to hold them back, "thank you…" His head dipped, tears stream down his face, landing on the man's arm. "Thank you so much… Kurosaki."

If he were in Soul Society right now, everyone would have known about his rape sessions with beasts and savages. Knowing the Captain of the Fourth Squad, she would have asked her lieutenant to help, and that would start a chain of rumors to the point where everyone would know. Everyone would know that the child prodigy fell into the hands of humans and was sexually assaulted everyday—almost every hour for four straight days. He knew he would have to tell everything to that captain if he had been taken to her instead of being treated by this man holding him. The thought of a 'man' holding him made him feel sick to his stomach, but this was not a 'man,' it was Soul Society's hero, Kurosaki Ichigo. However, right here and now, being held onto by this man did not seem frightening because he did in fact, trust him.

Had he known that he would have been taken care of like this, would Toushirou really have postponed his own rescue? This man risked his life for him on two separate occasions now, and risked graduating at the top of his class for what had happened. He needed to be a better guest; he was here to get rid of any Hollow that crossed their path while Ichigo studied and prepared for his exams. The Strawberry slowly went back to sleep as soon as the captain picked up the slice of watermelon again, and he managed to eat the five slices after thirty minutes. As quietly as possible, he placed the plate on the desk next to the bed, nearly causing Ichigo to stir at the sound, but managed to return to his slumber.

Toushirou would not have forgiven himself if he had awakened the carrot top a third time, but now he too was wanting to go back to sleep. The problem was, he had to go to the bathroom after being awake for almost an hour after from his near twenty-four hour sleep. He placed a hand on the bigger one that held his shoulder, having Ichigo inhale sharply before pulling himself away from him; both arm and head. Now he did it, with just a small touch he managed to disturb the man who saved him from Hellish nightmare, so he frowned apologetically as the other tried to wake up more. His eyes met with half dazed brown hues as if he wanted to apologize for waking him, which he did want to do, but Ichigo spoke first.

"Sorry, is something wrong?"

"I didn't want to wake you." The captain started in a dull tone; no pride or dignity as he explained. "I have to go to the bathroom." His cheeks still became slightly red; embarrassed that he actually said this aloud.  
"Do you think you can walk on your own yet?" He helped him off the bed and on his feet carefully, trying to let him try on his own first until he stumbled three times. "Come on, I'll walk you to the bathroom then."  
As much as he wanted to decline, he had no strength to do so, leading him to nod his head slowly. "Are you trying to be this nice because of what happened?" He winced as he walked. "I don't need pity."  
"No, you don't," Ichigo brought him to the bathroom door, "you need a friend." He opened the door for him slowly in case it would startle the little captain. "Use the counter to support yourself, okay? I'll be back."

"Where are you going!" Toushirou had said it so fast and sounded almost terrified, startling himself.

"I need to get you a bottle of water and your medicine ready." He was taken aback too, yet knew that he would not want to be alone; he made it sound like he was leaving. "I'll stand right out here if you want."  
"N-No…" Those people were dead, they could not reach him any longer—Ichigo would not let them. "Go ahead and do what you need to, I'm fine." He used the counter to get in, and closed the door behind him.

Knowing not to trust his word because he would say the opposite, but he needed the captain to know it was okay to lean on him. He left to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator, then to the guestroom to prepare the medication needed; Toushirou did not like the antibiotics. Remembering that he was still sore, Ichigo had to go back to the kitchen to get a couple of ice packs ready for when he laid back down. After about ten minutes of waiting for Toushirou to come out of the restroom, he came over and knocked softly.

"Is everything alright?" There was no answer, he opened the door slightly. "Toushirou?"  
"I'm… sorry Kurosaki…" his voice muttered in disappointment. "I'm bleeding…"  
Ichigo sighed softly at this, "don't apologize, none of this is your fault."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 07**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"Kurosaki, why won't you let me contact Soul Society?" His voice interrupted their quiet breakfast time alone that earned him his caretaker's gaze easily. "I have to make sure that my squad is doing alright."

"If you have enough time to worry about your squad, spend more time focusing on your recovery."

It had been two weeks since his small form was rescued from that nightmare, and his host had been very tending to him ever since. Ichigo had been helping him on hand and foot to make sure he was not in any pain or anything else he could think of to make him comfortable. This was something that the captain did not like as he could feel himself depending more and more on this man to be at his side. In fact, he secretly hated him with passion for spoiling him with so much watermelon that he could eat and not have to share. Toushirou was allowed to decide if he wanted an actual meal, or a large helping of nice cool slices of watermelon instead. For an entire week, he ate nothing but watermelon as he began to heal and the bleeding stopped; Ichigo said eating fruit would help this.

"I'm fine, I've placed it all behind me." He placed his plate on the desk with the watermelon skins on it.  
Ichigo frowned. "You know I've been checking in for you every other day, can't you wait a little longer?"  
"I need to know that everything is alright." There was a pause. "I can't always rely on your words alone."  
The tall one thought it over as he sipped his coffee. "Fine, after you get changed, I'll let you talk to them."  
Watching him stand and grab the plate a little quicker than usual, he called out. "Did something happen?"  
"What?" His attention went to him, surprised to be asked this. "No, I just have a lot of homework today."  
Toushirou knew he had been trying to catch up like crazy. "I understand." He got up and stood slowly.

Ichigo left the room with dishes in hand to wash as the other got up to change his clothes so he could talk to his lieutenant. He noticed the captain had no reactions towards him for some reason; it was either he really trusted him, or he had actually put this behind him. His efforts of having him take it slow were in vain when he began asking for three days in a row to let him contact Soul Society. Toushirou was set on talking on the communicator, so what right did he have to deny him of his positional needs as a captain? The Strawberry washed the dishes and walked past the hall to see the guestroom empty, making him understand that the other was in his room.

He walked in, seeing the captain sit at the end of the bed waiting patiently. "A little impatient, huh?" As the captain stood on his feet, Ichigo turned the communicator on, and requested for Rangiku for the captain. "I'll right there if you need anything—" his shirt was grabbed, meaning to stay in place. "Okay then…"

After Toushirou let him go, Rangiku's face appeared largely on the screen. "TAICHOU IS THAT YOU!" Said male jumped at the loudness—almost falling over if not for Ichigo supporting his chest at that split moment to make it seem like he was slightly startled. "DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN EVER SINCE ICHIGO SAID YOU TWO WERE FIGHTING!" His heart was racing frantically in which he knew Ichigo felt it as he removed his hand from him. The woman began sobbing fake tears towards him.

"Rangiku-san," Ichigo spoke softly to ease the captain's panic. "Can you calm down please?"  
"Kay!" She smiled happily, then looked towards her captain. "How are you doing taichou? I missed you!"  
Toushirou stared at her before opening his mouth, "…" Nothing came out; the incident haunting him.  
The carrot top was afraid this would happen, he bent down to whisper. "It's okay, just go to your room."

That was all he needed to hear before turning away and running out of the room; angry and embarrassed that he could not speak to his lieutenant. How did he manage to freeze up like that in front of her, now there was no way to not have her suspicious of his actions of retreat! He hated himself right now, but he would not succumb to burying himself beneath the covers of the bed to pretend to not exist. Too much has been given to him from Ichigo; especially given the reason not to have his pride and dignity tainted.

There was a gentle knock on the door, followed by a voice. "Are you okay?"  
His head nodded slowly. "Why did I freeze?" He should have been fine.  
"You've been adjusting to me, so the sudden change startled you."  
Toushirou looked to the ground. "What did you tell her then."  
"You're not feeling well, she accepted it and got going."

It took a moment, but he managed to look at. "You know that would happen, didn't you?" Turquoise hues watched the man nod once. "I see… that's why you wanted me to wait … sorry for not listening to you."  
"Put on a coat so we can go for a walk around the park or something." Ichigo almost laughed when he saw the captain stare in disbelief when hearing this. "Come on, let's get going. I'll wait in the other room."  
"You've kept me on lock-down for two weeks, I just froze in front of Matsumoto, and you're now letting me outside?" He received a casual nod as an answer. "What are you planning, are you trying to set me up?"  
"Guilty is charged." His hands went in his pockets. "It's snowing outside, not many people will be out so it would be good to see what affects you." It was the truth. "You may have fallen silent, but stood strong."

"Okay…"

* * *

Toushirou had forgotten how beautiful the world could be outside without a roof, the snow coated the Earth in a layer of white. It motivated him to go on their walk even more after going down the stairs, but he contained his emotions so the man would not see. Though hiding it was useless as he could tell that this man knew that he was pleased to be in his element after being kept inside for almost three weeks. As he watched the carrot top casually coming down the stairs, following him wherever he would go; meaning he could make the decisions. This satisfied him as he began to walk away with the man to follow; never aware that this was also to help him heal from what happened.

"Don't walk too fast." Ichigo reminded.

He knew the idea of what happened to him, they broke him down to get rid of that stubborn pride by doing things to humiliate him. Evidently, this caused the captain to respect himself less, and obey to anything as soon as he was told something; he had no stability thinking that he was no longer a man. This did not surprise Ichigo—having his guest believe that he was no longer a man, but he was letting him get into the feeling of being in charge. Hence, the reason why he was letting Toushirou choose wherever he decided to walk so that he could gain his confidence back slowly. Ichigo told himself that it would not be necessary for him to tell Toushirou about all of his motives since they were all to help him recover.

"Toushirou," he called out as they were nearing the large park. "There's something I want to tell you."  
Judging by the sound of his voice, it was not something good. "What is it Kurosaki? Is something wrong?"  
"Not exactly, I'm having you take a break from your duties until further notice." Ichigo had to be straight.  
"You can't do that," if this was told to the Commanding-General, everything could be revealed. "He c—"

"It has nothing to do with Jii-san, this is simply my order to you. I'll be on my best behavior so extra Hollow won't appear. I'll have one of the others handle any wanderers near you." The man saw the worry and fear in the turquoise hues. "If Jii-san catches on, then I'll tell him upfront that I gave you a new task for a while, which would be to keep me calm." He brought a hand up to scratch his nape. "I've had to control my temper at home with you around now, so I wouldn't be lying to anyone. Do you understand a little bit?"

"You haven't told him… about what happened to me?" Toushirou was relieved, but a little confused.  
"No," he answered softly, continuing to walk passed him. "So for now, rest at ease, without worry."  
His attention went to the ground, trying to think things through some. "You're hiding something…"  
"Give it some time Toushirou, I'm working very hard to do something for you." The man smiled.  
"I don't like surprises," he walked after him, trying to keep up. "Besides that, I don't think I can—"

Laughter was heard in the distance, causing him to stop and look to see children laughing as they chased one another near the snowless child's park. It reminded him of that stage he would be brought to every day, hearing the large quantity of people looking as his expose body, giggling and laughing at him. Ichigo felt him falling behind in which stopped him to look at him before looking at the children he was staring at. There was another small group that decided they were going to play jump rope, and as they started, the captain's brows flinched each time it smacked the concrete. Those men would use ropes when they were not using drugs… that whipping noise… the impact… the pain… the sensation of Hell that—

Some tall figure then stood in front of him to divert his attention by earning his attention. "Do you want to keep going, or would you like to go home now?" He placed his hand on his head. "What's it going to be?"  
Toushirou removed his hand gently, "I'm fine, stop trying to baby me." He immediately walked away.  
_'That wasn't my intention,'_ the man sighed softly before following after him again, not minding that he was trying to be strong, still… "I'm sorry it seems that I'm babying you, I'm only looking after you, Toushirou."  
His small form stopped in place when hearing this. "…I didn't mean it." He wanted to be helped this time.  
Ichigo also understood the fact that Toushirou was trying to do his best to lean on him. "I know, but if you would like me to back off some, tell me." Brown hues watched the small figure turn pleadingly at this.

"N-No. I don't want that at all." His right hand came up to hold his hair. "The fact that I can't even talk to Matsumoto, the fact that you know what happened." He shut his eyes tightly. "No matter what I say… be if out of embarrassment or anger. I…" The captain swallowed what little pride he had. "I want you to help." Toushirou looked at him. "Please do whatever you think is necessary Kurosaki… please… I beg of you…"

"You don't need to beg." Ichigo stated, nudging the small one to keep walking. "I would help anyway."

"Kurosaki-sama!" A woman called. They turned to see the group of women Ichigo dealt with everyday.  
Hearing them giggling and laughing had Toushirou tried to back up to get away—a hand gently motioned him to slip behind the carrot top. "K-Kurosaki?" There was no reply, and he grasp his shirt tightly now.  
"I'm sorry ladies, but I don't have time to play with you." Ichigo stated calmly. They giggled, Toushirou clung to him even tighter. _'So they laughed at him.'_ He took a step. "Now then, please excuse us."  
"Oh come on Senpai! We just want to play with you some!" Another girl laughed, reaching to grab—

"Leave," Ichigo demanded firmly, startling the women, "now."

Scared by his attitude, they fled.

He growled in frustration now that they were gone, "how about we head on home, it was a good walk."  
"No," Toushirou released him, and they looked at one another. "I can keep going Kurosaki, let's go—"  
"You made good progress today." The man rustled his hair softly. "Don't throw it away to be brave."  
"I'm not trying to be brave, I just want to keep walking, that's all." Truthfully, he _was_ trying to be.  
"I pulled an all-nighter doing an essay, and I have more work to do." It was good enough.  
That was true, but Toushirou knew he what he wanted to say. "You want me to rest."

"It wouldn't hurt." Ichigo then started to walk off for the other to catch up. "You catch on fast."  
"Not like it takes much to know what goes on in your head." He began to walk in front of him.  
This irritated him a little. "You have no idea what goes on through my head, Toushirou…"

Said captain turned to look at him, knowing he was serious…

* * *

When they arrived to the apartment, Ichigo did as he said he would by going to the kitchen table and doing his paperwork. There was nothing else better to do for the little captain, so he decided to take a bath in order to steal what warm water there was. It used to be a little different; Toushirou would have to be carefully washed before he could soak in the tub for the first few days until he could sit and walk on his own. The next few following days were of the captain telling him that he was going to take a bath, until Ichigo told him just to take it.

Once the bath was half filled with warm water, he slowly peeled off his clothes before washing his body while sitting on the stool. It was hard ignoring everything around him as he poured the water over himself before having to slip into the bath without shifting around too much, but he succeeded. He sat there to soak for a few minutes as his mind came across the many things that it would during this vulnerable time of his. The fact that his small damaged body had been undoubtedly memorized by the man in the other room who was doing his work. His head hurt each time he thought of how those chocolate brown hues had seen every centimeter of his body, and more on a few separate occasions. It was necessary for him to lie flatly on his back against the bed with his legs bent, his entire being shown as a display to this man. Toushirou would not admit to him that the bastards would do this to him too; trying to peek inside his rear-end to laugh at the amusement. Shaking them out of his mind to bring his thoughts back to his caretaker, and how his attention towards him was not like those pigs…

_'He doesn't look at me like I'm a meal.'_ Instead, it was always with a straight professional gaze as if not thinking of whom he was treating. _'He doesn't touch me like I'm a toy.'_ His touches were always slow and gentle to make sure he did not startle him. Toushirou then frowned. _'He doesn't see me as he used to…'_

The thought of Ichigo looking at him and touching him caused a strain to his lower region in which he had to mentally curse at instantly. He had to tend to his problem as quickly as possible with distaste so that his host would not be disgusted and complain to him about it. There was no reason why his body should be acting this way because no one was touching him, no one was looking at him. His mind returned to the brutes that would for an arousal from his not yet matured male organ, causing unbearable pain to him.

"Kurosaki!" Toushirou felt insecure now that those beasts were in his head.  
Seconds later, there was a knock on the door. "Is everything okay inside?"  
He wanted to be safe. "Y-Yes…" he quietly added. "C-Can you stay there?"  
"Of course," shifting was heard; he sat down on the floor. "Are you okay?"

He did not know to answer this without lying or being judged, so he remained silent as he washed his hair body before finishing off his condition. Not knowing that he had been in the bath for an hour, he dried his body careful and slightly rough—he could not be as gentle to himself as Ichigo was to him. After wrapping the large towel around his chest that fell to his ankles, and another towel around his shoulder, he opened the door. There sitting against the wall next to the door was a sleeping carrot top; this man knew nothing about taking care of himself… only of others.

"Kurosaki…" he whispered, causing the man to jolt awake. "Can you do me a favor?"  
Ichigo looked up at him with a hint of surprise, "yeah, sure. What do you need?"  
"I want it off…" his leg raised, revealing the bracelet that was on his ankle.  
The man nodded. "Yeah…" he held his foot—Toushirou retreated. "Did I hurt you?"  
"N-No…" Cheeks reddened by accident. "It didn't hurt… it just… I don't know… sorry."

Ichigo hummed curiously before placing his foot on his lap to remove the bracelet. "Could it be that…" he lifted his foot delicately after removing it, "that _the_ Hitsugaya Toushirou is ticklish?" His fingernails grazed the sole of the captain's foot, causing him to fidget as he retrieved his foot instantly. "Wow… you are…" The man covered his mouth while dipping his head… trying his best not to laugh in front of him. "P-Please excuse me." Getting up as fast as possible, he hurried out of the apartment to laugh at the discovery.

It took a few minutes for him to settle down from the entertainment he found in this, and came back inside to see Toushirou standing there, dressed. A slight hurt in his eyes he saw was most likely caused by his running away to laugh at the fact that he was ticklish in some places. Ichigo came over and gently caress the strands of white hair that were flimsy due to the hour-long bath, and gently pressed him into his chest.

"I'm not laughing at you, honestly." He resisted a smile. "I didn't know you were tickling, I didn't expect it."  
Toushirou pulled away slowly, "I know." He looked away, "I just didn't want anyone to know I'm ticklish."  
"Oh? Are you admitting that you have more tickle spots?" The man grinned. "How interesting that is…"  
"Don't you dare Kurosaki!" Just to make sure he would not search for the other ones, he stepped back.  
His lips tugged into an innocent smiling—not being able to hold it back anymore. "No, I won't touch you."  
"Liar, you just touched me a second ago!" He could not believe how he was lying right through his teeth—

"What I mean is, I won't do something that would make you angry." He patted his head. "Go take a nap."

* * *

Toushirou decided that he wanted to eat together with Ichigo in the kitchen, and he wanted to eat a meal that would not involve watermelon. It was obliged to, leading to his host to make a meal fit for a king after he heard the captain's stomach growling greedily for food. They ate in their usual silence; mainly because Ichigo was eating his dinner and doing his work for his classes at the same time. Unfortunately, this eerie silence caused Toushirou to feel a little uncomfortable and think of things that he should not think of.

"Am I dirty?"

Ichigo's brows twitched when he heard this, and looked at Toushirou slowly as he knew what he had meant by being 'dirty.' He was trying to debate on whether he wanted to try to lighten the mood or give him the straight answer that he wanted to hear. His eyes lowered briefly to stack his papers and place them on the laptop's keypad before closing the laptop in order to give him his full attention.

"No, you're not." Everything was placed aside for the conversation. "Those assholes were."  
"So then I am dirty, since they defiled me… countless times…" He could feel it on himself.  
"Toushirou, you've gone through a rough time, but that does not make you dirty, alright?"  
The captain did not believe him when he said that. "You know nothing of what happened."

"You're right, I don't." Toushirou's attention returned to him, surprised. "You won't tell me what happened, and that's the choice you've made. All I can do is stay at your side in case I'm needed." He grabbed some food with his chopsticks, but he lost his appetite, and set them down. "Please excuse me, I'm going to bed." His form stood up slowly in a sharp manner, leaving the plate and work on the table, and began to storm out of the kitchen—but paused. "Momo called when you were asleep," Ichigo tried to think about it. "If you want, I can turn on the communicator for you. She'll be satisfied just by seeing your face."

"No thank you, I'm not ready, I understand that." Toushirou whispered. "You're angry at me, aren't you?"  
"I'm not mad at you, don't worry about it." He patted his head. "Don't worry about the dishes either."  
As he began to leave, his hand reached out, "no wait—" he froze… he did not mean to grab his arm.  
His eyes closed softly at the captain's touch. "You want me to stay in here to keep you company then?"  
"It isn't good to waste food." The captain stated. "You said you would stay at my side… if needed, so…"

Ichigo looked at him, watching as he tried to avoid his gaze, so he sighed tiredly as he gave in. "Alright."

Turquoise hues watched as the man sat back in his seat while simmering down to scarf his food as to not disappoint his guest. He kept an eye on him a little longer as if it would give him the answers to the many instant questions that he had; starting with what got Ichigo upset. Perhaps it was his own fault for having snapped at him when all this man was doing was trying to help him in his time of need. His intentions were unknown though; he knew that this man wanted to help, but it was hard after what had happened.

"What is it, Lilinette." Ichigo spoke, and a garganta opened.  
She appeared and hugged him happily. "We found all but one!"  
"If you're not done, why are you here?" A brow rose with curiosity.  
"He's sneaky!" The short female pouted. "And you won't let us kill him!"  
"Are you having a hard time resisting?" He offered his food. "Here, brat."  
She opened her mouth as he demanded. "Ah…" She took a bite and ate it.  
"Now then, you can go and keep them fed, alright? We need them for later."

Her head nodded, but gave him an innocent look. "Can I?" Lilinette watched him sigh and look away so she would know that he would allow it. "Yay!" She lunged herself over him, wrapping her arms around his neck to give him a bone crushing hug before kissing him on the left eyelid in which Ichigo flinched faintly towards for some reason. "You know…" The small Adjuchas leveled Menos pulled away after a minute.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, and she started to look towards Toushirou— "Ah, no. You can tell me."  
"Ever since you finished your hunt, you've been tending to that Shinigami…" Her voice sound ashamed.  
Ichigo tapped her nose, "he needs me more than you right now. Be a good girl and be a little patient."  
"I-I-It's not me that's lonely! It's all Stark—OW!" Someone from behind smacked her, it was Stark…  
"We're leaving." Stark grabbed her by the head. "Forgive our intrusion, Kurosaki-sama."

"No problem." He waved to them, and they left. "In the end, they all want attention."

Toushirou just sat there, stunned to see that display in front of him; to witness the sight of bitter enemies touch each other without blood spill. A former Espada wrapped their arms around Kurosaki Ichigo without complaints—it was almost as if they were friends or family. It did not go unnoticed that the man did the same thing with her as he did with him; trying to have them talk to him, but only one of them listened. Was the affection something you could receive from this Strawberry if you were honest and said your mind—why would this matter? The last thing that the captain wanted was to receive someone's affection that the other male just showed with someone of the opposite gender. Ichigo suddenly slumped his body against the kitchen table as if all of his anger that simmered down had instantly drained him of his energy.

"She took too much," he groaned exhaustively. "Not like I had much on me anyway…"  
The captain, who just finished his meal, asked quietly. "Kurosaki… are you alright?"  
"Yeah… she just sucked out my reiatsu for herself, I'm fine." He muttered tiredly.  
"W-What?" Toushirou seemed a little panicked at this. "And you let her do it?"

The man looked at him confusedly, "I have to take care of them as they take care of me and everyone else. Why are you so surprised?" Ichigo thought that it was obvious to do this. "Don't worry, I take theirs too sometimes, mainly from Stark or Ulquiorra, but not with Shinigami." He saw that he was still a little bit confused at this. "Adjuchas, Vasto Lorde , and Espada have the ability to take the reiatsu of others. For one whose inexperienced or extremely weak at the time, resort to their lips to take the reiatsu needed as a basic instincts. The rest of us who are used to it can easily place a hand on someone to take it instead."

"Then take some of mine, I have plenty to spare from not doing anything." If this was all he needed, then Toushirou would not mind paying him back for everything he has done for him. "It's the least I can do."  
"Sorry, I'm a little too weak to simply touch your shoulder to take your reiatsu," He smiled weakly before standing up to grab their plates in order to wash them. "And I'm not going to place my lips on you either."  
Thankfully, he did not have to endure too much of kissing from all of those that took advantage of him. "Does it have to be on the left eyelid?" This made Ichigo pause when washing dishes, caught by surprise.  
"No, that's Lilinette's mark." The man continued doing the dishes. "Some of us carry a desired spot that's imprinted into our minds if it's sharing a lot of reiatsu. For just enough to stand right, it can be anywhere."  
"Then here," Toushirou left his seat and offered the palm of his hand. "Take it as rent for my staying here, as a freeloader, as Abarai calls it. You've done too much for me that you've strained your reiatsu enough."

He sighed softly as he turned off the faucet and dried his hands. "You really can be stubborn, but I'm glad that you're recovering well." His hand came out to hold the back of Toushirou's offered palm and placed his lips against his palm—only to kiss it. "Don't offer your reiatsu to me, I don't know if I can resist again." Ichigo did not take his reiatsu in fear of what would happen if he took if from a Shinigami of his level.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Note: **Although I am still sick after seven days, the reviews that GoddesofWrath has been making throughout the day has been giving me some laughs. Therefore, this story was updated a little quicker than usual.

**

* * *

Chapter 08**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"Alright, your lunch is sitting in the microwave with instructions." The Strawberry stated as he fixed his coat for the morning snow outside of the apartment. "Leave the communicator alone until I get back."  
"Don't take a bath without you here unless it's a shower, don't strain your body, don't sit upright for more than three hours." Turquoise hues rolled in annoyance. "Call you or summon Stark if I need something."  
"Very funny, if you keep it up, I won't buy anymore watermelon just for you." He watched him shake his head as if he did not care, making Ichigo smirk. "I guess… I'll stop buying that candy that you like too."  
_'Damn you Kurosaki,'_ His cheeks reddened at the mention of the sweets he favored, but casually gave in to the tease with a shrug; used to this after the past month of living there. "Good, sweets are bad anyway."  
"Whatever you say…" Ichigo patted his head. "Just be good and stay out of trouble while I'm in classes." He knew something was bothering him. "Hey." The captain looked. "Let me know if you want to talk…"

With that, his hand left his head gently, and reached for the door.

How he heard the last part in that familiar carefree gentle manner, it reminded him of how they had that fight when they returned from Soul Society. They did not talk the next day or the morning he was taken by those men, drugged, and taken to somewhere miles and cities away. Fearing that this incident would repeat itself if this man were to leave him alone by himself—fearing of how someone might break in to this apartment to take him and do unspeakable things… he snatched the man's coat. Color left his face as he realized that he covered five feet of ground and clung onto this coat before he could acknowledge what he did; earning the gaze of the much taller man.

The truth was, Toushirou's body had recovered from physical wounds, but it was internally scarred by anything that would come near it. What more—no matter how much the small captain tried to hide it, he was still very mentally wounded, and would take longer to heal. Despite all of this, both of them figured out that Ichigo was immune to the violent reactions that were given to people who stopped to talk. One day on their walk, a woman on her cell phone bumped into Toushirou—and even though she apologized, he almost went after her. If it had not been for Ichigo pulling him behind his large form and bowed to the woman apologetically, Toushirou did not know what he would have done to the human.

"I'm sorry…" the captain whispered—at first, he was apologizing in thought that he created another fight between them that would summon prowlers. It dawned on him that he was still clinging on the man who needed to go to his classes, so he removed his hands. "S-Sorry… I…" he paused. "I tripped and fell…"

Ichigo watched as the other became ashamed of the actions he committed right now, who tried to pretend he did not exist in front of his gaze. Something he said must have caused him to react like this, so he gave a brief exhale before setting his bag down and peeling his coat off. Toushirou looked at confusedly to try figuring out what he was doing—he needed that coat so he would not catch a cold going to class!

The man pulled out his cell phone. "Yes, it's Ichigo. I can't come to class, mind doing notes for me?" As soon as he said he was not going to class, Toushirou tried to reach for the phone. "You'll tell them for me too? Thanks, I appreciate it." He kept the phone out of his reach. "Call to let me know when you come."

After the phone was close, Toushirou yelled at him. "What are you doing! You're classes are important!"  
"Not as important as you though," the little one settled down a little. "Besides, it's a Friday anyhow."  
"I don't need you to watch over me, I said I tripped!" His face became red with fury now.

Ichigo simply took his hand and guided him to the couch. _'I'll just make this easy.'_ He sat down before letting go of Toushirou's hand as he stood there, both at equal height now. "Forget classes and anything else. Do you want me to stay home?" Turquoise hues quickly looked away. "Toushirou," he warned gently so he would not avoid the question. "Look at me, and answer honestly. Do you want me to stay here?"

His eyes closed as he began to feel like a child who nodded weakly.

"Then I'll stay home with you." He then leaned back against the couch cozily. "Now that my schedule is extremely empty, what do you want to do?" Ichigo tried to think on it. "A nap sounds great right now."  
"I want to talk." The captain stated quietly in a whisper. "I want to, but, I don' t know what to say."  
"You can talk about whatever you want." He patted the couch cushions with a hand. "It might help if you were a little more comfortable sitting down." The other sat next to him. "Is everything alright Toushirou?"  
"Leaving the way you were… made me believe someone would barge in to take me back to that place."  
"They would be dead before they even touched you." Ichigo stated firmly with a hint of hostility. "Anyway, everyone who has even touched you no longer exists in this world. I went a little overboard, protectively."

Toushirou accepted the fact that Ichigo had killed humans; if humans did this to Momo, he would want them all dead as well. Still, this had nothing to do with his feelings right now that were overflowing and pounding against his head as if to kill him from inside. A large callused hand came up and perched itself on top of his head, the pain was melting away in which meant that he was using kidou. It turned out that during the many years of studying to become a doctor, he would learn Shinigami medical work as well.

"Why am I not affected by you?" He whispered quietly, almost embarrassed even. "I can't even talk to Matsumoto, let alone Hinamori or Soutaichou, so why can I talk to you?" It really confused him a lot.

"I can't answer that for you, it could be a lot of reasons. It could be because I came to take you away from them, that you trust me with this, there's all sorts of reason, but only you would know the answers to that." Ichigo's hand gently caressed through his hair as the small one nodded his head, understanding this. "Do you think you know why you feel comfortable around me?" The other shook his head softly to this.

"I don't know why, or understand why. Knowing that you've seen all of me…" His body shivered, placing his arms around himself. "I don't like it knowing that you know everything about me." He closed his eyes.  
"I don't know anything about you other than you love watermelon, you're picky about candy, and you're ticklish." The man withdrew his hand to make sure he still felt comfortable. "Toushirou is Toushirou."  
"You don't understand, you've seen ever centimeter of my body." His feet came up on the couch and curled himself up while sitting next to him. "You've looked at my body enough times to memorize—"

"I memorized the bruises and cuts, but I have also memorized human anatomy long before this." He did not want him to get the wrong idea. "When I took care of your wounds, that was exactly what I saw."  
"Liar," Toushirou mumbled under his breath, earning a vexed heavy sigh. "How could you _not_ see?"  
"See _what_ Toushirou? I would never take advantage of you or anyone else in that situation." The man was upset that the other would say such things to him. "I was focused on making sure you were okay."  
Yeah, he believed him now. "Perhaps… knowing you won't judge me or laugh at me, is why I trust you."  
"You forget the fact that I'm the only one who knows what happened to you." Turquoise hues shot at him in horror, thinking he would reveal that nightmare to others. "Only you can tell others, I won't say a word."

His head nodded softly with gratitude for repeating that statement each time telling others was brought up in their conversation. It all began to lead him towards his other conflicting thoughts that swarmed his mind endlessly; if he had started talking about the things that were troubling him, why not continue. He stared at the television that was not on as he tried to muster all the courage needed for his next question to him.

"What's my orientation?" Toushirou felt Ichigo's confusion. "Both men and women used my body…"  
"Whatever orientation you had before is what it is now. These attacks don't define your orientation."  
"Then why is it that every time I—!" He froze when snapping at this man, and coward. "I-I'm sorry…"  
An arm spread out against the back of the couch. "You're okay. Every time, what?" He coaxed gently.  
His face buried into his knees, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk anymore." It was too embarrassing.  
"Alright, how about you go take an early nap?" Ichigo stretched out on the couch. "I'll take one too now."  
The captain looked at him for the moment. "…okay." He scooted over, and leaned against his chest.

Ever since the day of Toushirou's return, ever since he was given the opportunity to sit in his lap to eat his meals, he took an interest to his beating heart. Unfortunately, the louder heartbeats were on the other side of his chest—which Ichigo seemed to know it was what he wanted. The man carefully lifted his guest to take to his room, and set him down before sitting up against the headboard to rest for a while. It was a bit obvious that Ichigo was becoming used to it; enough to understand what he wanted without words. As Toushirou began to head for the man's lap, he was lightly rejected by the attempt, making him a bit lost.

"You can lay next to me with you head against my chest, but not on my lap anymore, okay?" Ichigo saw the puzzlement in the turquoise hues. "You'll have to go back to Soul Society and play out your role, I won't be there to be your pillow." There was a flicker of doubt in Toushirou's eyes after he had said this.

"I'm no longer fit to be a taichou."

"You have no choice in that matter, you can only be promoted or confined." He saw the answer he was willing to choose. "Things could repeat itself if you choose confinement. That's why… let me help you."  
Toushirou nodded weakly before moving away to sleep. "I'm trying to let you." A hand caressed his hair.  
"I'll stay until you fall asleep, I need to go to Hueco Mundo later to replenish my reiatsu or else I would have to summon someone here." Ichigo brought his other hand up to cover an exhausted yawn from him.  
"You didn't go to bed last night, and if you're not here after I wake, I don't know what I'll do." He could go crazy in a panic attack, or actually remain calm and collected, "just summon one of them here, it's fine."  
"I can't exactly do that. The only one not focused on a serious task is Ulquiorra, and it can scar you too." His hand moved away from the captain's head. "The last thing I want is for your recovery to worsen…"

"Stay here…" Toushirou began to fall asleep. "That's… an order…"

* * *

"How far are you willing to go?"

The cold voice twitched Toushirou's body with a chill, causing him to stir awake unhappily with what he saw—rather, it was what he _did not_ see that made him unhappy. His hand reached out to touch the spot where this host was during the last time he had his eyes open before falling deep into a peaceful sleep. Now that he was wide-awake due to Ichigo not being present, and the sound of a foreign ringing in his ears had caused him to panic immediately towards his situations. He was going to yell something though he did not know what, but he began to mildly calm down when sensing that Ichigo was still very close by.

"You're going to kill yourself by trying to make that Shinigami happy." The voice spoke again. "Though I never fully understood your protectiveness towards others, I have the slightest imagination towards it." Whoever this male tone belonged to, did not seem nice. "You need to properly vent now that you've had your immense amount of reiatsu given." There was a pause. "I shall watch over the Shinigami for now."

"I was going to go to Hueco Mundo to do just that. Thinking of my every move here with Toushirou around causes me to hesitate on everything and anything." There, that was Ichigo's voice, but he did not sound too happy either. "Until we place _that_ into motion, I can't be reckless and give him a setback, Ulquiorra."  
"Telling you this will not make you happy, however, this needs to be said, Kurosaki-sama." He started, not caring about what would happen. "We have noticed that your sole focus has been nothing but for that of a victimized Shinigami that will not fight to live. Why do you think it is necessary to defy your basic instincts and do what it is that you must? As for myself and the others, I believe the term is that we are _worried_."  
"I'm aware that I have been neglecting the lot of you, especially you, but Toushirou's needs are far more greater than those desiring my attention." Ichigo sighed in a gruff manner. "When he begins to recover from his wounds a little more, I can return to my ways." He paused. "You should go, I think he's awake."

"Yes, Kurosaki-sama." Ulquiorra left as told.

"Am I doing something that I shouldn't be?

Ichigo turned to look at the small captain standing in the doorway of the bedroom he was sleeping in with a gentle frown before bringing his hand up to pat his head. The captain shifted away with a bit of fear and confusion—he had obviously overheard the conversation and was taking everything the wrong way. Still, he was not going to force his hand upon Toushirou's head, so he lowered his hand and walked into his own bedroom to lie down in thought. It did not take long for the other to suck in all his might before coming in the bedroom unannounced, but he was worried that he was going to be betrayed.

"What am I not allowing you to do?" Toushirou came closer to the bed. "What can't you do Kurosaki?"  
There was a long wait before the man actually decided to answer him. "Kill Hollow." He whispered softly.  
His eyes rolled; he thought it was something serious. "Why would I be affected by you striking a Hollow?"  
"Weren't _you_ struck?" Ichigo did not want to say that, but had to. "What if it brought back bad memories?"  
"Hollow are Hollow, they need to be taken care of. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I assure you."  
"You were confident about talking to Rangiku-san, and look at what happened." He needed to be harder.

This made the captain flinch when hearing the harsh statement. "Why are you saying this?"

It hurt Ichigo to be like this, but it was somewhat needed. "Come here, it's okay." The captain came over as told, and Ichigo sighed tiredly with stress before sitting up. "Close your eyes and think back to the last day you were in Soul Society." He obeyed. "I pestered you when you found out I was resting in your office, and then the guys began to crowd in to harass me, angering you more." Toushirou was about to apologize, but was gently hushed. "Now open up your eyes and think about right now, you're submissive."

"I'm entitled to change, that's what I read on your—" his eyes shot open, wishing he did not say that.  
Ichigo's head dipped, shaking in disbelief. "I know you were on my laptop, I saw the pages you looked at."  
He looked at him guiltily. "You left it on while you were taking a shower, I—" he was hushed gently again.  
"I'm not mad, but you can't compare yourself to everything you read. You are much stronger than others."  
"The thing is, I have fallen faster than anyone." The captain whispered. "Harribel had beaten it into me."

"You, do not, submit to anyone." He received his attention. "Not to me, or anyone else."  
"Soutaichou." Everyone has to submit to him… well, everyone but Ichigo it seemed.  
"Toushirou, you can't…" Ichigo paused, shaking his head. "Alright, come on."  
"W-What?" Watching the man place the gikongan in his hand. "Why?

"Come on… no questions…" He came out of his human body, opened the balcony, and jumped out.

Toushirou swallowed the gikongan and followed him confusedly.

* * *

"Kurosaki, will you please tell me where we're going?" They had been playing a silent game of chase for an hour as they left Karakura Town, but he was surprised they were not attacked. "How much longer?"

"We're almost there, you'll love it, trust me!" Ichigo laughed, keeping him curious.  
His eyes rolled in disbelief as he then came to his side. "_Where_ are we going?"  
"A place where you'll be safe, and wash away all your fears if for the moment."  
He sighed at this. "There's no such place Kurosaki, you're wasting your time."  
"Too bad, because we're here." He landed, as did Toushirou. "Look at me."

"Kurosaki, what's the point in all of this?" The captain did not want to play games right now. Waking up to find Ichigo not in his spot and a Menos in the apartment did not make him happy. "Can we go back now?"

"Close your eyes and turn around, I'll put my hands on your shoulders, and lead you a few steps, okay?"

Toushirou sighed once more, this time due to irritation before turning around with his eyes closed as the man had requested from him. Two hands touched his shoulders before guiding him a few steps forward, there was a settling pause as the large hands came down the arms to place two smaller hands against a rail. The captain was not worried about his eyes closed or his body being touched, or even the fact that there was a man behind him, because that man was Kurosaki Ichigo. Both hands left the small ones figure just before he heard footstep getting farther away—was that man planning on leaving him there?

"When you look ahead, I want you to remember what is worth living for. Your reasons can be your very own secret." Ichigo stated quietly about five feet away from him. "They may have taken your body, they may have broken you down, but you are still very much you." He watched Toushirou shaking; possibly believing that he was going to be abandoned. "When you open your eyes, I want you to move forward."

Ichigo walked over, his chest ever so slightly grazing Toushirou's backside, and placed his hands on his.

"I know you believe that you can never go back to the way things were, and it's true. You cannot change the past—what's done is done," the captain stopped shaking, relaxing a little, "and you have to remember something very important." Ichigo bent down to whisper. "You, Toushirou, are a survivor."

Said male held the railing a little tightly, eyes still closed, awaiting to be told to open them.

"If you turn around and face my chest, we'll go home and keep hiding as much as you want." Ichigo said softly to comfort him. "If you open your eyes, you're making a promise to me that you'll move forward."

Toushirou thought it over and just wanted to crawl away, but answered. "I want to see… Kurosaki."

"Then open your eyes." He watched him open them, and he stared in awe. "They can't take this away."

It was the sun setting at just the right angle over the ocean far away in the distance after the land covered with forest trees layered with snow. Toushirou had only expected to see—no, he shoved that far away from his present thoughts as he watched the sun going down. Memories of watching the sunset with Momo refreshed his mind completely, temporarily flushing out everything bad that had happened. Ichigo moved one of his hands from the rail to rustle the white strands of hair in front of him as if praising the captain for doing a good job. To his surprise however, the small one turned to look at him with tear-filled eyes before embracing the man weakly as he whispered quietly,

"Thank you."

Ichigo smiled before turning around and kneeling, "come on, it's time to go home, Toushirou."  
"You idiot," he climbed up on his back to be carried to the apartment, "it's Hitsugaya-taichou."  
His lips curled as he heard the words that have been silent for a month. "Yeah… sure it is…"  
"I'm… going… to rest… a little longer…" After the last word was said, he was already asleep.

"Go ahead and sleep as long as you want." He whispered softly. "You deserve it."

* * *

Something quietly and constantly tapped on the window in a shushing noise, it was almost as if his host was taking a shower right now. That was a not possible, they were… wait… where were they? Toushirou shot up to find himself in his room all alone as it was raining heavily outside, wondering what had last happened. He looked over to the side where the desk was to see his dinner and cold ice tea sitting there for him for when he woke up. The captain ate the small meal that was given to him along with drinking the ice tea, and thunder roared overhead in which made him shutter. How did it rain heavily in the winter.

Toushirou climbed out of bed and went to the next room, which was open, and came to the man's side.

"Kurosaki?"

Ichigo jolted awake at the voice right next to him due to not hearing him come into the room with the rain.

"Oh… Toushirou… what is it, something wrong?" He rubbed his face, trying to wake up. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine," the captain answered quietly. "I thought, I could lay in here as well, to keep the day good."  
"You want to make sure that your entire day stays good, huh?" Ichigo received a nod. "Alright…"  
His host scooted over, and then he joined under the covers. "I assure you this will be the only time."  
"Yeah, well… you better not get used to it either. You and Momo really enjoy giving me puppy eyes…"

It did not take long to figure out as to why Momo would come into this man's room to sleep in when the mattress was perfect. He felt his body drifting back to sleep before he knew it, but it would seem that mother nature was against him as thunder roared loudly once again. His body shook at the sudden loud noise, it would remind him of that dungeon look-alike door that would lead to his cell—his eyes widened immediately. An arm wrapped around his shoulder to reel his form against a strong muscled chest, his head leaned against it, and felt the heartbeat throbbing in a calm rhythm.

"Just think of it as Hyourinmaru manipulating the weather." Ichigo whispered tiredly. "I'm right here, so no one anywhere from Heaven or Hell—this world even, can even touch you. You're safe, Toushirou."  
"Shut up Kurosaki," he grumbled, turning to lie on his side to curl up against Ichigo to hear his heartbeat. "I told you that I'm here to make sure my good day doesn't turn bad, that's all there is to it, remember it."  
"And the fact that the thunder startled you has nothing to do with anything?" The man chuckled. "We'll work on that too." He paused to think of something to himself, and diverted the thought. "Are you happy?"

Toushirou tried to think about the question a little; trying to figure out how he should answer this. "I don't know what to exactly say." His eyes closed as thunder struck, but did not budge. "Hearing what you said, telling me to make a choice, and to stick with it. But," he pushed away to sit up. "I have something to say."

Hearing the serious—despite utterly exhausted tone in his voice, Ichigo sat up and looked at him quietly to hear whatever he had to say to him. They ended up sitting there in silence for almost an hour though; the man did not try to force him to say whatever needed to be said. This was when tears began to form in Toushirou's eyes, and this was all Ichigo needed to see in order to know what the little captain was going to say to him. It was the one big step that he would have to make before he could even try to move on with his life—and he wanted to start now.

"I am… a victim… that survived… sexual assault." The tears then descended hotly down his cheeks.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around him and leaned back so they would lie back down again as the captain choked on his tears because he did not want to sob. It was not an easy task to admit being assaulted by someone—especially sexually, no matter what gender the victim was. He knew that this small man was completely ashamed by the acts that were forced upon him, but it seemed like he was ready to get on with his life again. If this was truly going to be the case, Ichigo would do everything in his power to help him deal with this, but first he had to deal with his classes.

Once again, Toushirou fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 09**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"Toushirou, would you like to go grocery shopping with me later?" The man called from the other couch across from the captain, using the table where he was doing all of his class work. "Or do you want to s—"  
"Don't bother asking things that you already know the answer to, it's annoying." He answered in boredom as was reading a book to pass the time. "Besides that, you have to finish your work before you leave."  
"I know that, you don't have to remind me." His attention lifted curiously while hearing the tone that was given to him, making him a little interested. "Are you still upset that I'm staying home from now on?"

"…no."

Two months ago after admitting being a survivor of sexual assault, Ichigo had done drastic measures to reassure the little captain of his safety. Kurosaki Ichigo fought and argued all weekend after he woke up from that night, and he demanded for online classes, or independent studies. It seemed illogical with there only being five more months of classes left, but after explaining that there was a serious situation at home, they made it happen. Now there were catches, one of his flirty colleagues would come by every weekday to pass him some notes to keep him up to date. The second best student in Ichigo's classes would come in once a week to make sure that he understood everything that they worked on in class. A professor would come in twice a month to give him tests—coincidentally showing the professor why…

Why Ichigo now stays home…

"Good, I'll be done in about an hour. How about you go look in the fridge to see what you would like to get when we go?" Ichigo returned to his work, trying to get things accurately completed to stay at the top of the class; the main reason why he was allowed to do class from home. "And _no_ strawberries this time."  
"I see no reason why we can't, _Strawberry_." He sat up and placed the book away; he figured that he could insult Ichigo with name-calling. After all, Ichigo _did_ also mean strawberry. "They have more flavor than watermelon, and they taste surprisingly good on cake. Dipped in that chocolate tasted good as well."  
In truth, it was frustrating Ichigo in several ways, including sexual. _'He has no idea how hard he's driving me insane.'_ He knew the captain was unaware of the teasing that he did by saying strawberry and going on about how good they were. _'Then again, he doesn't know that I've been crazy these past two months.'_

The supposed one night sleeping in Ichigo's bed became a routine in which led him to sleep in the middle.

Toushirou did not know that Ichigo was still a young healthy man with needs of his own to take care of whenever it occurs. Three times this week he found the captain curled and nuzzled up against his body, one leg slightly over his pelvis as if he were a stuffed animal. Each time, Ichigo found himself thinking of horrid images to settle down his arousal, but last night was harder to deal with than before. His face was close to his, muttering his host's first name in his sleep without insult or malice, it was cute and innocent.

"Damn it," he seethed, feeling the arousal returning due to remembering last night. "Not now…"

"Did you say something?" The captain called from the kitchen, checking their food stock.  
"N-No, nothing." Ichigo jumped to his feet. "I'm going to take a shower real quick first!"  
A long silence struck as the man finished his work. He came over. "Are you alright?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Hands placed themselves on his lap to hide it. "Did you get it all?"  
Toushirou knew he was hiding something, making him angry. "What is it?"

"Nothing… I don't want you uncomfortable, that's all." There was no way to divert his attention now, so he had to say something else. "Can you please go back to the kitchen to check on our food stock?" He saw how the anger turned into slight worry about him, so he smiled. "Everything's fine, just go back in there."

With a quiet nod, Toushirou returned to the kitchen, allowing Ichigo to go to the bathroom for a shower.

It was hard to have someone sleep with him when they were only friends, but to cling and rub against them while muttering his name was too much. He did not wash his hair or grab the soap, only let the water engulf him as much as he allowed it as flashbacks struck him from the year of war. It was nothing that he cared to think of when there were more pressing matters to deal with right now when there was a victim in his apartment. He could not become aroused in front of him again, he knew that Toushirou had been scarred enough, and to see his friend aroused would not help.

Ichigo exhaled softly due to recovering from arousal, and wrapped a towel around his waist so he could walk to his room in a moment. He looked at himself in the mirror, only to see Aizen Sousuke's face—he smashed the mirror instantly; thinking upon instincts. His eyes widened when realizing what he had just done… why did his mind play a trick like that on him… he did not want to think about it. The man slowly removed his hand from the mirror as Toushirou slammed the door open to the bathroom, worriedly.

Turquoise hues saw the blood and glass in his fist, but equally noticed that the man would be naked if not for the towel wrapped around his waist. "…what happened?" He watched as Ichigo placed his hands on the counter, taking in deep breaths. "Kurosaki," still, he did not receive a response as the man was silent.

This was the first time Toushirou had seen a man's body since training subordinates in Soul Society; no one undressed themselves when he was assaulted. Only a _Pet_ was naked. His attention went to Ichigo's hand to see him clenching it tightly as the glass began to slip out of his skin as he began to heal.

"Kurosaki."

Ichigo flinched and looked at him after a few seconds. "Sorry, I'm fine." He looked to the mirror. "I thought I saw ghost or something." His eyes are closed, reminding himself. _'Do not fear… become fear itself…'_  
"Kurosaki, tell me what happened." He watched Ichigo dazing off, and so he grabbed his wrist firmly to snap him out of it. "What is going on—?" Gold hues turned to him as a fist swung around to hit him.  
_'Wait!'_ The man told himself, freezing in place before hitting the captain who did not flinch. "Sorry…" he tried to walk around him, but his path was blocked. "Toushirou, you need to be more careful than that."  
"Was your Hollow side acting up again?" After being around for three months, he knew that his Hollow side was protective of its host. "Did you see your Hollow in the mirror?" Nothing. "I want an answer."

"I saw—" Someone rang the doorbell, he sensed the reiatsu that made him falter. "What's going on?" His eyes caught glimpse of Toushirou who also recognized the reiatsu and lightly tensed. "Hey," He picked him up and placed him on the counter to look at him face to face. "You've come a long way, and you know that she would never hurt you right?" Ichigo watched him nod. "Can you answer the door?"

"What if I freeze?" He whispered quietly. "What if I attack?" He had before to another. "What if—"

"You won't know until you try." Ichigo patted his head before going to his room. "I'll be a minute, I have to put some clothes on." His voice was shallower than ever as he quietly closed the door behind himself.

Toushirou took in a deep breath before hopping off the counter where he had been placed so he could answer the door to see Momo. He tensed when seeing her not even three feet away as she smiled and giggled happily when seeing him—she then opened her arms to hug him. Ichigo called out from the front of the hall, finished dressing and asking her why she would hug a captain when it was consider being inappropriate behavior. His tone was a little calmer to Toushirou's surprise, and sure enough, Momo began running to him happily instead, much to the captain's relief. Momo froze before he touched him however as she recognized that something was wrong with him; something that had happened. She looked at him for the longest time as if staring would help answer her questions, but then asked aloud.

"Did something happen…?" Her expression dreaded with fear. "Why are you looking like that?"  
"Don't worry about it, I'll deal with it later if I think it's serious." He looked to her. "As for you…"  
Momo knew that she was in trouble. "I asked Grimmjow-kun if he could bring me here—"  
"You went through a garganta?" Both males roared in surprise, clearly angry.

"Momo, I've told you—" Ichigo gritted his teeth, trying his best to not to show any sign of anger, but it was hard not to do this. "Never mind, what are you doing here? You know that I banned all to come here."  
"I wanted to see you! I wanted to see Shirou-chan! For some reason your communicator had been shut off! Anyone who tries to come here gets warned by Grimmjow-kun." She caused Toushirou to flinch.  
"My com—" he gritted in annoyance as he scolded the captain who was already looking away with eyes shut. "Yes… I guess it has been off. I'll remember to turn it on later." He walked into the kitchen quietly.

Momo saw how glum Toushirou looked, "I missed you Shirou-chan—!"

"Hey," Ichigo called out, behind her in a flash while grabbing her head before she hugged the now frozen captain. "Toushirou doesn't feel well, you'll definitely catch it if you touch him." With that, he walked away and returned what he was going to do. _'If Grimmjow brought her here, would she have been in danger in Soul Society?'_ He could not be certain until he received word from one of his followers, but when—

Grimmjow then appeared in front of him from a garganta. "An uproar has been created, someone is heavily disturbing the forest. Strays are becoming wild and distracting Stark to a minimum. I believe—"  
"I do to…" He thought about it, hoping that his theory had always been wrong. "We'll have to make haste then, send Lilinette to warn Renji, you and Ulquiorra take care of the intruder. Have her stabilize things."  
With a nod, the feline Menos vanished as Momo and Toushirou came into the room, and the former that arrived spoke first. "What did he tell you? Was it something that got you mad—" a hand came to her face.  
"That's enough questions for now," he caressed her face gently before softly shifting her bangs away from her eyes. "Now then, how about you go use the bathroom across the guestroom before we go shopping?"

"Kay!" She was not aware of the accident in Ichigo's bathroom with the mirror.

Toushirou turned to the host with a worried gaze, "I don't know if I can manage that Kurosaki, this is the first time you've introduced me to others that I know, and I've already panicked four times because of her. I can't have Hinamori believing that this is her fault, please have her return to Soul Society, _please_."

He placed his hands on the captain's shoulders as he looked at him eye to eye. "Grimmjow wouldn't send her against my orders, _unless_, something bad might happen. I'll tell you what happened because I have faith in you, okay?" This earned him a slow worried nod. "For a split second, I looked in the mirror and saw Aizen, that's why the mirror is smashed in." His hands felt the small one tense and knew what he was thinking. "There are some things that I had to keep hidden from Soul Society, Aizen not fully dead was one of them. Traces of his final form created a small insignificant Hollow, and I've been watching over it."

"As a Pet?" Toushirou shoved away; knowing the taunts Sousuke would give. "You're sick Kurosaki!"  
"Toushirou, it's not like that… at least let me explain things to you?" He had to explain things.  
His head shook at this, "I can't do this…" he took a step back. "Bastard…" He turned—

"Toushirou!" The man yelled, cringing after the fact. "You may have improved dramatically on recovering, but you haven't gone out on your own yet!" This caused the captain to freeze. "He's not one of my _pets_, nor a follower, okay?" He resisted having him look at him. "After I killed Ulquiorra in blind range, I did not want to kill a life source again unless it was necessary. I did not want that rage to consume me and make me more Hollow than I need to be." Toushirou wanted to look at him. "I can't take a life and not regret it, you can't understand because you're not part human. But it's just as bad when you made your mistake."

Finally, the captain turned to look at him. "You're trying to give him a second chance?"

"Not just Aizen, but for Tousen and Ichimaru too," he sighed and sat on a chair at the kitchen table. "I know they all used each other, and they were aware of it, so I've given them all a second chance." His hand came up to hold his head. "I didn't want to burden anyone with this. So I had someone watch them, making sure they don't attack one another and don't evolve to the next level." Ichigo did not want anyone to know about this. "If Aizen makes a move, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra would handle it. I wanted to see if I can trust them enough to give them their bodies back. In the end… two wanted to atone for everything."

"But why… why Aizen?" Toushirou looked hurt… and betrayed. "Why give him a second chance?"

As Toushirou continue to bash him on his choices and his actions, his host was slowly starting to lose his patience with this. Ichigo had thought that he could trust him with this bit of information that only three Shinigami knew about, but it seemed that he was wrong. His head began to throb as the captain yelled at him some more as he could only take in the verbal beating that he had been receiving for five minutes. A faint scent of salt water hit his nose—he had forgot about Momo, and she hated when others argued a lot.

"Toushirou!" Ichigo snapped finally, being defensive for Momo's sake. "Listen, I do my best to not judge you on your actions, can you at least try to do the same for me?" He watched as the captain looked at him in fear, horror, and shock. "I'm sorry Toushirou," His form left and stood at the front of the hall, looking downwards. "Momo, we shouldn't be fighting, we didn't mean to scare you." The man caught her as she flung into his arms sobbing, and he picked her up as if she were a five year old. "Everything's okay."

Turquoise hues looked at the scene, not realizing that Momo had been listening—worse, she had been listening to him yelling with mixed emotions towards her future captain. He did not mean to have this happen; he was taken by surprise at the fact that Sousuke and the other two were not dead in the slightest. His mouth opened to apologize to them both, but he became mute when seeing Ichigo settling Momo down as she was choking on her sobs. Toushirou could not handle what he did; it being the first time he felt he had really disappointed Ichigo, why _did_ he judge him like that after everything?

The captain turned and ran to the guestroom.

* * *

It had been hours, and everyone was separated in different rooms; Momo was sleeping in Ichigo's room, Toushirou was sulking in the guestroom, and Ichigo roaming the house. He had sent Kon to take care of retrieving the groceries in his human body, having him stand around in his Shinigami form to think of how cruel he had been to the captain. As he began to leave the front room, Ulquiorra appeared to announce that the problem had been taken care of by annihilating the source. When he was gone, Ichigo decided that now was probably a good time to talk to Toushirou in order to apologize for the things that he said.

To his surprise after knocking and entering, he saw Toushirou huddled against the headboard where the host would sit to have him on his lap. He sighed softly before locking the door to make sure Momo would not startle the captain when it came down to their conversation if they have one. Ichigo watched as the captain glimpsed at him before hiding his face; obviously, Toushirou blamed himself for everything.

"Do you know how it's so hard to care for the people you love?" His voice was soft and gentle to soothe any worries that the other would have as he sat on the side of the bed. "Because if it was easy, it wouldn't mean so much." He then whispered quietly to him. "I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm really sorry."

"I'm the one who snapped inappropriately," Toushirou whispered quietly. "Who am I to question you?"

"A friend who has concerns about his own welfare." He saw him look at him with guilt. "I know that you were thinking that he would somehow know what happened to you, but you have no reason to worry about it any longer." Ichigo huffed as he scratched his head. "They put an end to him for illegal riots."

"…illegal …riots?" The captain had never heard of such thing.

"I put down a few laws saying what others can or cannot do. Causing riots was one of them to decrease the number of Gillian." Attention went elsewhere as he continued. "Once a month I allow them to challenge each other in which make one hundred Gillian in a month, and they produce only ten Adjuchas. After proving themselves, it is decided whether they are killed or not." Ichigo stopped talking about that to look at the captain. "Anyway, enough about trivial things. What's on your mind, Toushirou?"

"A few things…" He paused. "Such as why you held Hinamori against you in that manner earlier."  
"I've held you in similar manners. There was nothing I could do when she jumped into my arms as she did." Ichigo looked at him. "Why, are you becoming a little jealous? You want to sit on my lap then?"  
Instantly, the captain threw a pillow at the man's face. "Bastard, I have no reason for some childish fantasies that you might have!" What took him by surprise was the gentle smile given. "W-What is it?"  
"Nothing, you're very lively today, I'm happy." His hand came over to pat his head, but stopped and reeled his hand back when remembering Toushirou shoving away. "You're doing very well with Momo here, too."  
"Why didn't you touch my head as you always do?" Toushirou tried not to sound like he was complaining, but he was surely enough confused by it. "Did I subconsciously want you to not touch me or something?"

"You shoved me away the last time I touched you, that's all." Ichigo gave a soft smile as he began to get up, but the sleeve of his shirt was grasped, and a head against his shoulder. "You're showing it again."

What he meant by this, was that the little captain was showing a side that he did not want others to see; a side that showed his fear and need for things. Right now, his need for being cared for by this man was the side that was revealing itself in order to keep his savior from leaving the room like this. It was not hard for Ichigo to determine what happened or why this situation occurred—it was like bait, and he took it easily. A calm silence filled the room as they stayed there; one on their knees clinging to the man that was sitting on the side of the bed. There was nothing that he could do about it when he finally had Toushirou finally leaning on someone for help… for support… for many things others could not give.

"I'm sorry…" the captain whispered.

"Don't apologize," he replied quietly. "It's in the past now, it's okay to move on from this." Accidentally, he grunted in discomfort due to having exerted his reiatsu. _'I should have take a share from Ulquiorra w—'_  
A hand faced up was shoved in front of his face. "I can feel your reiatsu wavering heavily. You shared a lot with those Menos that came here." Toushirou motioned his hand again. "Take as much as you want."  
"I guess you would feel obligated to do something for me, wouldn't you…" His hand lowered the other's. "I have to take a little more than just a bit though, and I don't think you can handle that." He told the truth.  
"As a taichou, I'm ordering you to take as much as you want, however you want." There was a long pause between them before Ichigo hovered a hand over his chest. _'Could it be…'_ He removed his shirt for him.  
"You make it hard to resist the offer." Ichigo smiled weakly as he placed a hand against his chest. "Ah… I _am_ too weak right now." His attention went to him. "Are you alright with my lips against your skin then?"  
"Don't make me repeat myself." Turquoise hues watched as the hand left his chest, and Ichigo's head lowered beneath his chin. _'Their spots are where their Hollow marking's are.'_ He shuttered at the thought.

Ichigo stopped to look at him, believing his motion scared him. "Looks like I'll have to bond with you a little then." He looked at him gently. "If you can or want, wrap your arms around my neck, and bury yourself against me." His body felt him obey, he lowered his head against his chest, and kissed between his collarbones for a few seconds before pulling away. "Are you okay?" The man felt a small nod against him.

For not feeling lips against his body, Toushirou slowly pulled away to look at the man who took a very small amount of reiatsu, and watched him exhale a fog of cool air. He almost chuckled if he did not realize that he had removed his shirt for this man to see his body and the faint scars from being abused during his time in that hellhole. His hand was then gently held and placed against his stomach over the scars before glowing a bright light blue until their hands move aside. Turquoise hues turned to look at the spot where the scars were many, only to see that the scars here healed and no longer present.

Toushirou knew instantly that happened. "You idiot, I didn't offer my reiatsu just so you could heal me!"  
His hues were slowly turning gold. "It's fine, I'll borrow my own powers." He collapsed against the bed.  
"Kurosaki!" Damn him—he would kill him if he did not learn to care about this man. "Get up bastard!"  
"I don't know what would happen if I took your reiatsu for myself." Ichigo sighed. "It tastes too good."  
_'If his Hollow side likes it… could it be that he's trying to protect me?'_ This made him frown even more.

"I can lose control sometimes, and if I manage to do that in front of you again in an aggressive manner, I don't know what I'll do." The man stared at the ceiling tiredly as he continued. "I already scared you today by snapping. It was to stop our conversation for Momo's sake, causing me to neglect your own sake…"  
A thought then occurred to Toushirou and looked at him. "Kurosaki… take some of my reiatsu for yourself while you still have some strength left." He earned a scowl to decline. "If you don't, you'll be more likely to lost control of yourself again. If you do, then you'll be able to learn to restrain yourself from my reiatsu."  
"This isn't a game," before Toushirou could even blink, he was placed on his back against the bed, and Ichigo held his hands over his head against the covers. "You already know that I have been fighting my urges of many sorts, but you have to remember that I'm a man too, and I also have my limits too."  
"I'm not afraid of you." The captain whispered, not fazed by the man on his hands and knees over his body. "I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and more." He saw the man bite his lip hard as he turned his gaze away. "What are you trying to hide from me? Why are trying to find fear within me?"

"Because no matter how much you trust me, I'm still a monster, too." Ichigo brought his free hand into view as fingernails turned to claws. "Don't you remember? I've been watched since my conception date, and been used since. All in the name of being the _God's_ perfect creation. Receiving powers that no plain Shinigami could ever accomplish, a power that quite possible only I could ever obtain?" He winced.

"…Ichigo," the captain watched as he stiffened. "Please," he started. "Take my reiatsu for yourself."

Said male sighed in exhaustion before leaning his lips next to his ear, "you're a tiresome little man."

Nonetheless, Ichigo obeyed by lowering his head down to brush against his skin slowly until reaching the spot as to where he would be absorbing the reiatsu from. He felt the other shiver be it from cold or fear, so he pulled away from him—only to have now freed hands to wrap around his neck and face buried into his shoulder. Ah… Toushirou only wanted a safety blanket that Ichigo taught him moments ago, since this was the reason—and silent permission to continue, Ichigo did just that.

Toushirou could feel his reiatsu being slowly drained out of him, but the sensation it brought to his lower half made him panic as he knew what was going to happen. He begged whatever God that would listen to a prayer from a Shinigami who had no God, to not let this man find out that this was getting him aroused. His mind swarmed with mixed signals that told him to attack and hide, to scream and stay silent; he had never encountered this pose, nor the sensation that he was receiving. The captain's hold on his neck began to loosen as he was falling into a daze, it was scaring him—was this good, or was it bad?

Salt water came to Ichigo's nose, and he pulled away to look at him, staring into tear-filled eyes.

"…Kurosaki…"


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING:** There's only five more chapters left. Unfortunately, I don't like how the sequel has been turning out.

As for **Dark Inu Fan**, STOP GUESSING FUTURE CHAPTERS RIGHT!

**Chapter 10**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

His eyes were wide in horror from waking with the sight that was not even a foot in front of him, somehow, Momo was sleeping in the same bed as him. Last he checked, Ichigo had told her to sleep in the other room that was for guests because he was supposedly not feeling well! The captain began to shove away from the bed to get far away from her until a hand caressed his hair softly, making him look at the man…

"A few hours after you fell asleep, she had a nightmare, and came in here to sleep." Ichigo stated softly, trying to keep him calm. "She isn't going to harm you in her sleep and I'm right here, you can go back to sleep, it's okay." He watched the small shift away, only to burrow into his side and place his head on his host's arm. "I want you to do me a favor for me any time after breakfast, okay?" Toushirou looked at him, knowing that it would be difficult, whatever it was. "I want you to _try_ to have physical contact with Momo."

Instantly, he wanted to say no, but nodded once instead.

After Ichigo had replenished his reiatsu, Momo had awoken and requested to stay just one night before going back to Soul Society. Ichigo told her that it was all right with him, much to the captain's displease, so she immediately claimed to sleep with Toushirou. Fear struck Toushirou, but his host stated that she would feel unwell if she did, and she understood—relieving the captain. She then decided that she would sleep in her future captain's bed, where Toushirou had been sleeping for the past month or two, but the man covered and said she needed to stop sleeping with the opposite gender. Ichigo then announced that he would have Toushirou sleep in his room while she took the guestroom, everyone agreed to this easily.

Momo slept in the guestroom while Toushirou shyly took his spot next their host; once being caught in his arousal, he could not look at him for hours. A few hours after midnight, Momo was having nightmares and came into Ichigo's room to ask if she could join them while showing her puppy face. She won against him easily, allowing her to steal the right side of his bed—and the right side of his body for that matter. It had been another few hours before it was Toushirou's turn to wake up, placing them where they are now.

Speak of the devil, the frail lieutenant began to stir awake in which caused the captain to stiffen against the man who kept them separated. The one that was particularly unhappy about the fact that they both woke up was the unofficial Shinigami that desperately wanted to sleep. She suddenly jumped into a sitting position, screeching about being late for Shino Academy; …what a _terrible_ nightmare that would be. Ichigo told her quietly that she was being rude to Toushirou who was still trying to sleep, which had her look over to see the smaller one buried into the man's side, hiding his face.

"Does he move a lot when he sleeps?" Momo remembered that he was not sleeping in that position.  
He tried to think about it, "sometimes, I have a few bruises here and there from it." Sadly, it was true.  
"I was really worried about him for never contacting us." She smiled weakly. "But he's in good hands."  
There was something in her tone that alarmed him. "What do you mean by that?" She knew _something_…  
"Well, I was raised with Shirou-chan, but it was hard to get close to him even then, but he's close to you."  
Ichigo took a second to reply to this. "Momo, you still mean the world to him, besides, he's been—" They watched Toushirou bury further into his body. Ichigo sighed. "He's been living here for months now."

"I know, but I noticed earlier yesterday that he's begun to rely on you, it makes me happy." To prove this, she smiled as brightly as ever. "Every time I come back from another room, you two are inseparable. It tells me that I really should not have been here without your permission. I just really wanted to make sure that Shirou-chan was alright." She then giggled. "He doesn't complain about his title towards you either."

"Hah, he still does." Ichigo waved her off as he chuckled lightly. "I'm a disease, I latch onto others and then work my way through them." He joked. Toushirou buried more into him. "I need some more sleep."

There was a long pause before she asked in a pained tone, "have you mastered that new kidou form?"  
His body tensed dramatically at this. "I won't teach you. Momo, I've already told you how dangerous it is."  
"But maybe I can help you prefect it, I'm really good at kidou and—" she piped down when he scowled.  
"I… said… _no_…" Ichigo stated firmly. "The incantation alone stresses out one's body, I told you before."  
"You told me that you're the only one to be able to accomplish it." The female was going to get in trouble.  
He grunted in annoyance, but ignored the topic. "Don't tell anyone you were here Momo, understand?"

Knowing that she caused trouble, she had to leave the room. "Yes taichou." Her voice said weakly as she climbed off the bed. Momo turned and bowed to him. "I'll go take a bath. Sorry for making you angry."

It did not take long for her to disappear to the bathroom to take a bath after Ichigo nodded softly to her to give her permission. Once the water started to run, Toushirou sat up quietly to allow his host to deal with his routine; getting up to change his clothes for the day. As the man was stripped to his boxers, a thought came to the captain—something he had been thinking about since he offered his reiatsu.

"Kurosaki, I want to talk…"

He would say this mainly for himself to know that he could, in fact, talk to Kurosaki Ichigo about whatever was on his mind. When Ichigo placed his clean pair of pants on, he turned to look at the captain to show that he had his full attention now. The eye contact made him a little more nervous to speak out in which Ichigo fixed by sitting at the foot of the bed with his back turned to him. It was something that he would do to make things easier on the captain who would not do so well with telling others what was on his mind.

"Three months ago, I lost something that is no longer mine, and I wish to get it back." Toushirou grasped the sheets tightly. "However, to do so, I would need someone to assist me. The only person that I trust, and that knows what I have been through, is you." Hearing this earned him Ichigo's attention easily.

Ichigo brought a leg up on the bed so he could halfway face the captain. "Whatever you need, I'll help."

His head nodded, grateful for the insurance. "This body… it isn't mine—it's a toy, a sex toy to be played with. In short, I want my body back." He saw the other frown. "I want to reclaim my body by choosing who I want to have sex with, not by someone chosen by who pays the more money." Toushirou earned silence.

Ichigo did not understand his methods of this, and he knew that he would not understand his way of thinking when it came to the incident. He had to think on it a little bit, trying to avoid sleeping with this little captain for the wrong reasons, but he could not disappoint him either. His attention was fixated on him, watching how his cheeks were bright red and his body quivering at the thought of his request. The man had no choice but to willingly agree with him, only in hopes of given enough time to change his mind a bit.

"Give yourself a little more time to heal, and I'll let you have your way with me." He rustled his hair.  
"N-No, I don't want to penetrate you." His blush deepened, head lowered. "I need you to penetrate me."  
"I know…" this earned him a surprised look from the captain. "I understand that you want to use me."  
Hearing this made him feel guilty. "I still feel their touches when you're not there. I want what is mine."  
"You don't have to explain yourself," he got up to walk around the bed to sit against the headboard.  
Toushirou denied his statement. "I don't want to do anything without your permission, without your—"  
"Hey," his voice calmed him. "Just acknowledge that a piece of you will be a part of me, and me to you."  
"…I understand," the captain scooted over and sat next to him. "Will you let me know when I've healed?"

"Let's go to Seireitei with Momo for the day, after breakfast." Ichigo smiled gently at him. "If you can confront someone in Soul Society without my help, then I won't argue when you need my body."  
"Do I have to tell them that I've been abused?" The thought of telling someone made him nervous.  
"No, you don't have to tell anyone anything." He tried to think of something. "Go say hi to Renji or Rukia, escort Momo to her division, something." He paused. "I'll have to talk to Rangiku-san about it though…"  
This scared him, and grabbed the man desperately. "Y-You can't! You promised me that you wouldn't!"

"Hey, hey, hey… calm down, I meant that I need to tell her about you—that you need more support." He saw the worry still filled in the captain's eyes. "I'll tell her that she needs to be there for you, too, if you need someone and I'm not there." Ichigo smiled again. "She's the reason why you left home to be what you are now, right? To become a Shinigami?" The captain nodded weakly. "I've said it before, I won't tell anyone what happened to you. However, she needs to know that you are hurting inside, is that okay?"

"You won't detail anything?" Turquoise hues watched him nod. "…don't make me sound needy."

* * *

"Momo, give this letter to Unohana-san when you go visit her for your symptoms." Ichigo gave the female a letter. "And don't open it, it's not for your eyes to see, understand?" Momo left the two sluggishly. "I wish I didn't have to put latex in her tea, but I had no choice." He sighed and turned to Toushirou. "I'll go speak with Rangiku-san, will you be fine alone?" The man received a nod. "Okay, you'll know where I'll be then."

Despite saying this, he watched Toushirou slowly walk away in search of someone to talk to without him to support his actions. When he was out of sight, Ichigo quickly left to go speak with Rangiku who was surprisingly in the administrative office. Knocking once or twice before coming in, he saw that Kira Izuru and Hisagi Shuuhei were also in the office with saucers of sake. The three saw him with an unemotional look in his eyes, making them all wonder what exactly happened to make him look like this.

"You two need to leave." He stated calmly. "There's something important I have to talk to her about."

With that said, the other two fled the office with a quiet 'goodbye' and a 'nice knowing you,' forgetting to slide the door closed for privacy. Rangiku worried that something happened to her captain, so as soon as she felt the captain's reiatsu, she began to rush out—but was grabbed. Ichigo was not going to let her see him yet, not until after he explained things to her so that she would not scare the captain with hugs. They stood there for the moment once she jerked her hand away from him, and then he decided to speak now.

"You need to give Toushirou a little space for a while, Rangiku-san. You didn't do anything in particular, but it's something else that has him mentally broken down." It was as far as he could say. "For a while, he has been working on his recovery, and I want him to understand he can come to you if he needs help."  
"What did you do to him?" Her tone was serious—obviously not trusting him after hearing what he had to say to her. "It would take a lot of work to have taichou 'break down' mentally or physically. So tell me what you did to him!" She watched him lower his gaze to the ground; making her believe that he did something.  
"I wasn't there… and it's not my place to announce what happened." He hated having to relive that first month after Toushirou's incident. "But for a while now I've been helping him get back on his feet, and I graduate in three months, so I don't know if I'll be able to stay at his side to help. He needs you now—"

Rangiku slapped him across the face, "what did you do to him!"

"Don't touch him like that!" The small captain roared at the entrance, stunning the other two, and he then stormed over in blind rage. "How dare you slap him after everything he's done for everyone, especially for me, you stupid—!" his mouth was covered before he could call her anything hurtful that he would regret.  
"Toushirou, it's okay, you need to breathe…" Ichigo whispered, slowly calming down the captain. His brown hues turned to Rangiku. "Sorry, can you give us a minute?" The woman left the room, but listened in on them. "What are you doing here? What about our deal, huh? You were supposed to see others…"  
Toushirou lowered the man's hand. "I saw Abarai and told him good morning. After he replied, I hurried here when I felt Matsumoto's reiatsu rising with you near her." He turned to look at him. "How could she slap you—who does she think she is! Doesn't she know how much that can hurt! That stupid—"  
"Toushirou… focus." Ichigo knelt down to be at eye-level with him. "If you can't handle being around others that you know, we're going to go home, is that what you want?" He saw him shake his head. "I need you to calm down then, you're doing really well, that's what matters." His body stood. "Come back in now…"

Rangiku opened the door and closed it behind herself. "Taichou, are you okay?" She had never seen him snap like that. He nodded in response before shifting behind the man. "Ichigo… what happened to him?"  
"I was…" Toushirou started, but could not say it, and he hid his face. "It doesn't matter, never mind…"  
The man frowned at the clinging captain, "I said you did not have to admit to it if you did not want to."  
His head nodded in understanding. "You said I should lean on her, I thought…" He sighed. "I'm sorry."  
Rangiku thought Ichigo was crazy by saying her captain broke down, but it was true. "Taichou," she came over and was eye-level with him now. "Of course you can lean—" her captain tensed at her closeness.

"Toushirou, she won't touch you, she's just trying to talk to you." Ichigo explained, resting a hand on his back to keep him feeling safe. "Or, if you want, we can go back home. Whatever you're comfortable with."  
"I was…" The captain paused, he hated it… this was not the captain he remembered himself to be. Just looking at this woman made him tremble in fear; he was supposed to be fearless. "I want to go back now."  
"Okay, that's fine, you did really well." He removed his hand from him. "Do you mind if I talk to Renji first?" It was to see if Toushirou would need any backup excuse for his actions, but the captain shook his head.  
"I want to go back, now. I did what you asked, I confronted someone. Now you have to keep your end of the deal Kurosaki!" His eyes widened when hearing himself being so demanding. "I-I'm sorry, I want to—"

"Stop apologizing…" Ichigo sighed softly, riding the irritation off his shoulders. "Rangiku-san, sorry, we'll try to come back on better terms. Can you tell Renji to contact me later?" With that, he looked to the little captain. "As soon as you let go, we can go back to the apartment." Toushirou let go, and they left.

Rangiku had watched them leave, thinking about how Ichigo claimed she would not touch him. _'No way…'_

* * *

"Nh—Toushirou!" Ichigo complained after being thrown on top of the bed in the guestroom. The small captain did not look entirely happy as he began undoing the man's pants. "Toushirou, wait—damn it!" He grabbed the small wrist softly to stop him from going any farther. "Calm down a little, you're safe, okay?" Toushirou looked at him unhappy, only to be placed on the man's lap to face him. "Think about it some."

"Think about what? You said I could use your body to take mine back."

"That doesn't mean you have to act like the monsters that raped you," this stopped the poor captain in his tracks, enough to have Ichigo release his wrists. "I wanted to prolong telling you this, but having sex will not do anything, it has to mean something to you in order for you to take your body back." The captain stared at him. "You don't have to be ashamed to ask me for help, remember? It doesn't make you weak."

Toushirou looked at him guiltily; feeling stupid for making this man angry with him for doing something like this, but of course, he would be mad about it. He felt ashamed for forcing himself on the man that always tried his best to help him in any way that he could, and this was how he repaid him? His head swarmed with all sorts of illogical statements and questions, he did not know what he was doing anymore now.

"I don't know what happened to you during those four days, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen to you." Ichigo covered his face with a hand, "I hate that all I can do is cook your meals and share my bed with you. I want to be more useful." His hand held his face tightly. "Staying home with you was to make sure you wouldn't try to hurt yourself, and to be there for you if you ever wanted to talk about it…"

As Ichigo had no choice but to fold his hand and lay out his cards, he revealed the conflicting emotions that he kept inside for the past three months since that incident. The captain did not know what to say since he was shocked at the fact that his host had felt like this the entire time when it was more than just a few cooked meals and a shared bed. If it was not for this man at his side, he would most likely have done some sort of damage to his body—no, his body would have never healed firstly. Hearing him say that they are friends—that he would stay at his side and support him with everything that he was going through. He had to admit now more than ever, that Kurosaki Ichigo was probably without a doubt, his most trusted friend that he could rely on for anything.

"My body…" Toushirou started quietly. "Every time they would touch me… my body… it… " He paused.  
The man knew what he meant by this though. "You got an erection?" The small one nodded weakly. "Your body reacts on instincts, it doesn't mean you want it." Though saying this, the other was confused.  
"How can it be instincts?" His voice whispered quietly, trying to keep talking. "Erection indicate wanting—"  
"Look," his finger poked the captain's side, whom twitched. "Your body jumped because I poked you. It's the same in male instincts when their touched inappropriately." He smiled softly. "It's perfectly normal."  
"Still—when they touched me with their hands… I… I…" his eyes closed, not wanting to remember that they had him release his seeds countless times. "They would force my body to climax constantly…"  
"Ejaculating against one's will is completely different from having an orgasm with a desired sexual encounter." He brought his hands up to hold the captain's cheeks. "Your body reacted as any other."

"Then…" since Ichigo had answered his questions without insults or teasing. "What I'm about to say, I don't want you to laugh, I want an answer only." He received a nod. "After you took me away from that place and you examined me, that was male instincts when I became erected?" He earned a soft nod. "I would take a bath by myself when you let me, and every time I saw bruises, I would remember what they did …" Toushirou swallowed nervously. "When I compare their touches to yours, I would get erected…"

"It's still male instincts if you think about being touched, but remember, I touched you professionally. If I made you uncomfortable, I'm—" his mouth was covered by two pale hands to keep quiet. At first, he did not understand, but he saw something trying to bulge from the captain's pants. "Talking about this has got your body riled, didn't it?" He received a blushing nod. "Would you like to take care of it in the restroom?"

"When your hands touch me, it washes away what they did to me…" his eyes closed, "like, it disappears."  
"Are you asking me to touch you, Toushirou?" He watched his blush deepen. "Don't be ashamed of it."  
"Please," the captain piped up. "I-I… want to know what it feels like to not be used for just sex, Kurosaki."  
"_Ichigo_," said man corrected the small one, and then quietly added. "I don't know if I can control myself."  
"You will, because I know you'll stop if I say so." Toushirou hesitated. "Please… touch me… Ichigo…"

That was all it took for the Strawberry before carefully laying his hands on the captain's legs; it was a good thing they were not in their Shinigami forms or else it would be too easy. Toushirou's hands placed themselves against the man's chest to keep himself steady on the man's torso after scooting up on his body. Ichigo had been lying on his back ever since the captain threw him on the bed, but things were beginning to rile him up as well. This was not going to be easy for himself, so he closed his eyes and allowed his hands to crawl under the captain's long sleeve shirt towards his nipples—but stopped.

"I can't…" Ichigo slid his hands away, and sat up. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you're ready for this."  
There was confusion in the air, but he eventually smiled softly to him for this. "Thank you Ichigo."  
He looked at him, now confused as well by hearing his gratitude. "For what? He stared blankly.  
"You place your logic and concern before my illogical belief and needs. It makes me relieved."  
"It's because I want you to be able to experience these things properly." Ichigo chuckled softly.  
A brow lifted at what he said, "I don't understand." He paused. "What experiences can be proper?"

"Do you know what baseball is?" He earned a nod. "Then I'll use that as a metaphor for you to understand what I'm saying." Knowing that he had his attention, Ichigo began. "First base indicates kissing, usually for mouth to mouth contact. Second base is touching with clothes on or touching your partner's upper body; it depends on your opinion and relationship. Third base is touching without clothes on or touching your partner's lower body." Toushirou understood so far. "Third base is open to a lot of options since you can have sex orally. Then finally, there's the home-run where you officially having intercourse through penetration." Ichigo smiled lightly. "I want you to experience all of these in their rightful order, Toushirou."

Before he could even process the rest of the things that he was told, the captain found himself leaning forth to kiss the man's lips. Ichigo had just told him that first base was kissing by mouth to mouth, and he trusted him enough to give his first kiss to him. He stared at this man, seeing his eyes wide with surprise by what had just happened between them, making the captain smirk slightly. It had been sometime since he could even smile, let alone smirk, but it was difficult to not at least grin at the man's flabbergasted look.

"Did we clear first base then?" He sounded too smug for his own good.  
Ichigo looked at him, regaining his composure. "If you're going to sugar coat it."  
"You said it was mouth to mouth." Perhaps he did it wrong without even knowing it.  
"Well… yeah… _mouth to mouth_, not _lip to lip_." His eyes rolled. _'This guy… damn it.'_  
The captain thought on it, then understood. "Mouths parted open in the kiss?"

As the captain leaned in for another, Ichigo placed a finger against his lips before kissing his forehead. "I want you to experience these stages, yes, but I want you to take it slow too." His watch beeped, telling him that the communicator was being activated. "I have to go talk to Renji now, be good and get some rest, you deserve it." He tried to get up, but Toushirou would not let him. "Toushirou, please, let me up."

Toushirou did not want him to leave, but he also did not want to go in there to encounter the red-haired lieutenant, so he removed himself and lied down. He waited for the man to leave the guest bedroom before getting up and listening to their conversation from the hallway. The captain heard the lieutenant mention something about Ichigo's face being a shade red, and asked him if he had a girl over to sleep with. His eyes widened though when he heard Ichigo say that it was not like that, just sexual frustration that he could not deal with. It had not dawned on him that this man would also get aroused, but now thinking about it, he could recall the sensation beneath him.

"What, Hitsugaya-taichou's forbidding you from bringing home the ladies, and masturbating?" Renji then snickered at his friend's distress, not aware of the situation at hand between him and the little captain.  
"Look who's talking? I bet you're not getting any action in _your_ barracks, what with your _package_ still in the cabinet." The carrot top knew he needed his condoms. "I feel really bad for Rukia, no action at all."  
"Y-You bastard! Why didn't you give them to me while you were in Soul Society!" He began to go insane now. "You know taichou won't let me have sex with her without those! IT'S BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH!"  
"You snuck one _last month_, too. Can't you keep it in your pants for a bit?" Ichigo earned a vicious scowl. "I'll see what I can do… I might send Grimmjow over to give it to you. If I remember that is." He smirked.  
"Hey Ichigo, how come Hitsugaya-taichou is acting cold? He came up to me with a greeting, and after I said it back, he left." He scratched the back of his nape. "Did I do something to offend him or something?"  
"No, not at all," good, so Toushirou's attitude adjusts when alone. "By the way… I had Aizen finished off." Renji knew about them. "He broke my law, so I had to get rid of him. Ichimaru will be next to mess up."  
"If you say so," the tattooed man sighed heavily. "You're never going to tell any of us what happened over there, are you?" He frowned. "Whenever the topic comes up, you become a completely different person."

"No…" Ichigo whispered, staring at the ground. "Baring this pain is something that I must do alone…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"So the gang's all here, huh?" A Hollow asked its group. "Then let's go find ourselves a meal."

* * *

It had been another two months since after Momo last came by, and Toushirou was recovering to the point where he acted like himself again. Granted there were still a few things to adjust; the captain was still sleeping in his host's bed to ensure the end of a good day and a start of a good one. There was also the fact that he reverted from calling him casually back to his family name, much to Ichigo's approval surprisingly. Having him say 'Ichigo, please,' was too much of a temptation to place his hands on the little captain in which he did not need either. Probably the biggest success for Toushirou was the fact that he could now face Shinigami that he knew so long as they did not intend to touch him. After Ichigo made the captain go on their walk alone, Toushirou began to recall his independence—but now had a soft spot for his savior. In speaking of which, Kurosaki Ichigo had been leaving every day around noon since the day they took Momo back to Soul Society, and Toushirou was worried about where he would go.

_'Just a few more seconds…'_ He thought to himself, and Ichigo came out of his bedroom.

"I'm going out really quick," came the familiar words as he came to the front door to put his shoes on.  
Toushirou did not like the fact that this man mysteriously left every day. "Are you going to tell me where?"  
"Sorry, but maybe next time." He answered before heading out. "Take care of yourself while I'm gone."

That was how it had been for the past two months, but after the man was gone, the captain jumped up to get dressed so that he could follow him. It was not that he did not trust Ichigo to go wondering off and go somewhere without telling him where he would be going all these times. He also could not complain since Ichigo would only be gone for two hours at the most, but the secrets that came from him were troubling. A few minutes passed before he left the apartment to follow the man to wherever he had ventured off to.

Seeing the once snowy-layered Earth now dry and sunny was a bit disappointing, but the spring had risen to show its time as it was supposed to. There in the distance—identified by the bright orange colored hair, Ichigo was walking in a surprising different direction than what he would usually take. Without waiting any longer, he followed him on foot due to being in his gigai, being led to a foreign area of the town that he had never been to. Now he watched him passing by… a Shinto gate—wait, what the Hell was this man walking up the stone steps to a shrine? After carefully following him up to the top, he hid behind a post when seeing Ichigo was talking to a priest who bowed humbly to him before they began to talk.

"It is good to see you again, Kurosaki-sama." The man smiled. "You have come to pray quiet often."  
"That's because I have something worth protecting, and recently realized to cherish it more." He replied.  
This made the priest laugh with hands up in defense. "Oh, I have no complaints, it's nice to see you here."  
"While I'm still here…" Ichigo's head bowed to him. "Excuse me, I have someone I need to pray for now."  
After the carrot top entered the oratory, Toushirou came over to the priest, "excuse me," he bowed to him.

The priest turned to him, and returned the greeting. "How may I help you?"  
"That man who went into the haiden, you said he comes every day?" He received a nod. "Why?"  
"I believe that it is something you should ask your friend about directly." Saying this earned him a shocked look, making him smile even more. "It is an honor to meet you Hitsugaya-sama, I heard much about you."  
Toushirou was confused, but took his advice, and bowed. "Thank you." He then followed Ichigo.  
The priest then turned away back to the office, _'…these youngsters…'_

Carefully, looked in the oratory to see the man standing all alone as he prayed, so the captain quietly slipped in to come to his side. He would wait until the man to finish his prayers before disturbing him, or else he might be scolding for interrupting him thoughts. After a moment or two, Toushirou watched as he stopped his prayers and placed a large hand plopped down on his head, softly caressing white strands.

"Who were you praying for?" Toushirou asked quietly. "If you don't mind my asking."  
The hand left his head before the man began to leave. "You." He whispered softly.  
His eyes widened in surprise, but followed. "Why would you do that, for what—"  
"Can't I wish for a friend's safety and the strength to fight for what they had?"

He stopped in place behind the man who looked at him softly after saying this, but he corrected. "I don't want strength to fight for what I _had_, I want strength to fight for what I _have_." This man had given him a chance to gain what he had into what he needed, and more—a thought occurred to him. "Wait right here."

"Tou—" Ichigo watched as he hurried over to where he was praying, and saw as he did the same thing.  
It did not take long for him to finish and come back to his side. "Why didn't you tell me you go here?"  
"You would ask why afterward." They left the oratory together. "I would've felt embarrassed if I told you."  
"Since when have you ever felt embarrassed about anything? You would parade nakedly if possible."  
"I have some self control thank you." He playfully scolded. "I hate when you act so damn coy, you brat."  
"Oh, I thought you enjoyed it?" Toushirou crossed his arms. "It always strikes a reaction out of you."

The man glanced at him smugly, only to see a similar look on his face as well. "Ah, after being stuck with each other and bonding whether we wanted to or not, I suppose we know how to get under each other's skin a bit, don't we?" A ringing rose in his head, making him slow down as they reached the stone steps.

"I'll forever be grateful, whether I'll admit it again or not." As he took a few steps down, he noticed that he was not being followed, and he turned to look at the man. "Is something wrong Kurosaki? You're falling—"  
"Something is happening in Hueco Mundo," his hand came up to grip his head. "For some reason, there's a large quantity of Hollow and Gillian fighting to gain evolution, but it's a week early." His grip tightened.  
"Then you should go find out what the problem is, if it's hurting your head, then you might draw attention here from there and endanger humans." He watched as the man grabbed his pill, but paused. "What?"  
"Something isn't right… I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone like this." It felt like a setup to him, but why would someone bother to get his attention unless they wanted his human body or Toushirou. "…"  
"I'll be fine here." The captain announced. "I can take care of myself, and Kon will be with me. We'll go straight to the apartment to allow you to feel at ease." He received a concerned look. "Hurry up and go!"

Ichigo hesitated a little more, but swallowed the pill. "Kon, keep Toushirou safe, or I'll put you in some girly toy." With that, he jumped through a garganta that was opened to him, and all Hell began after that.

Toushirou's cell phone beeped to signify a Hollow alert; with all the training he did with Ichigo and his practice against Hollow, he could take them on by himself. He swallowed his gikongan and told the two to return to the apartment since he wanted to face these five on his own to show off to his savior. His pride would rise when he was praised by that man in which was the reason why he wanted to fight them by his self; to earn his praise and pat on the head. The captain arrived at the scene to see the five Hollow near the apartment where he had been living with Kurosaki Ichigo, and called out to them.

"Looking for something?"

They turned to him, and the one in the middle had a mask that had scratches on it that were familiar.

"Ah… who would have thought that Chibi was a Shinigami…" It chuckled at him.  
Toushirou stiffened at the name-calling, and prepared his Zanpakutou. "Pardon?"  
"It's your fault we're dead… sending Kurosaki on us like that. We're here to repay ya."  
Then it hit him, "ah… you're the group that brought me to that Hellhole. Good, I'll kill you."

"Nah, you'll have to wait… after we thank Kurosaki, we want to play with you. After all, Kurosaki herded us all together and been keeping us alive." The Hollow saw the Shinigami tense at this, and the others struck him, grabbing onto his arms and legs. "But since he's over in Hueco Mundo cleaning up our mess, we have a little time to play with you first. You remember how to be a good boy, right, Chibi?" As it ripped the shihakusho off the captain, it began to lick his body with his tongue that was over-sized. "Like it, huh?"

"B-Bastard, let go!" It was as if being a powerful captain vanished from his mind due to the past flooding in his head. The saliva dripped all over his body as his body was reacting to it, making him yell. "Ichigo!"

There was a large explosion behind them, and as the Hollow leader turned to look, his four followers were destroyed and sent to Hell. When it turned to look at the others, all he saw was Ichigo with his mask on while holding the nude captain in his arms… he was pissed. It took a few frightened steps away while, of course, begging for its life to be spared while the man removed his mask to look at the captain. Asking if he wanted to kill the monster for what had happened to him, and it was agreed up as he was set down on his feet. Toushirou understood that he was naked as he picked up his Zanpakutou, but he trusted Ichigo with everything, and this Hollow was going to die, now. As it begged and cried to be spared, the captain cut him down to size—limb by limb, before cutting its head off, rather than its neck.

From there, it was sent down to Hell.

"I kept them in Hueco Mundo, waiting for you to be fit enough to have your revenge." Ichigo stated in an apologetic manner. "When I destroyed the hundreds that were fighting, I realized that they weren't there."  
"You don't have to explain anything to me." He whispered, feeling the man approach from behind to drape his robe over his body. "I wanted to get rid of them before you came back," his cheeks reddened. "Sorry."  
"Toushirou," the captain looked up at him as the man still stood behind him. "You don't have to make me proud, it goes without say." He carefully picked him up and jumped on the balcony to his room. "Okay?"  
"I-I never said I wanted to make you proud, where did you ever get such a ridiculous idea?" As much as he scowled at the man to make him think otherwise, he could not fool him. "I wanted to prove myself."  
"You don't have to prove yourself either." Ichigo placed him down after going in. "How about you take a soak in the tub while they take their time getting here." However, the front door opened. "Never mind…"

"Actually," they returned to their bodies, "that sounds like a good idea, but, I would appreciate it if…"  
He saw him look away. "Would you like me to wash your back?" He earned a slow nod. "That's fine."  
"Just this one last time…" the captain stated instantly. "After seeing those bastards, I'm uncomfortable."  
"You don't have to explain anything to me." Ichigo mused as he used his words. "I'll get everything ready."  
"K-Kurosaki." He called quickly and the man stopped. "I don't want you to think that I need to start over."

* * *

"Tomorrow, we'll go to a public bath so that way we'll know if you can be comfortable being with your subordinates." Ichigo declared as he set out the dinner plates on the table so they could grab however much they wanted. "Unless a taichou gets to have a bath to them self that is, then it wouldn't matter."

"I want to try."

Ichigo turned to look at him in surprise to hear him agree so easily, but he did not press the matter by trying to ask questions. It was a stretch though, for the fact that he was ready to go experience to go out and reveal most of his flesh for others to see. There was nothing he could say that would make him slow down his steps, but if Toushirou wanted to back down, he would let him know. As he took a bite, he heard the communicator in the bedroom beaming with a yell—it was Rangiku that was going crazy on it. His eyes turned to Toushirou immediately to see him slightly tense at her voice in which he knew that it was because of Harribel to some point for their similar figures.

"Kurosaki?" The captain called quietly.  
He snapped out of his thoughts. "Yeah?"  
"Can… you invite Matsumoto to come here?"  
"If that's what you want, are you sure about it?"

"I want her to understand my situation, to tell her what happened." Toushirou paused at the thought of telling the second person of what Hell he had gone through. "Please have her come tonight, for me…"

"I'll be right back then," he left his seat to go to his room and talk to the woman. They talked for a few minutes before the man returned to the kitchen to eat his meal with his guest. "She'll be here soon."  
"It may seem irrational, but I'm sure you're aware of my fear towards womanly figures such as hers." His gaze tried not to meet this man's gentle one. "However, I need to move on, and I know I'll need her help."  
"I won't say my opinion to what I think about your choice, this is your decision Toushirou. Do what makes you feel more comfortable." With that, he took a bite of his meal as he saw the captain stare at him softly.  
His head nodded slowly. "You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you've done for me." He set his chopsticks down. "I don't think that I will ever be able to express my gratitude to you, Kurosaki."

"Seeing you recover significantly, is gratitude enough Toushirou." The doorbell rang. "It's open!"  
He looked over his shoulder to see his lieutenant coming in. "…that was a little too fast."  
"When I heard you wanted to tell me something, I was worried!" Rangiku whined.  
The man finished his meal. "Toushirou, finish your meal. I'll give her some rules."  
"N-No, wait," he stopped the man who began to stand. "No rules, please…"  
"You nearly had a mishap in your recovery, you've been taking it slow—"

"Please?"

Ichigo saw how much he pleaded with his eyes because Rangiku could not see, so he sighed and gave into him by offering his seat to the woman. Once she was offered to eat with her captain, she instantly stole the warmed seat and set herself a large amount of food before devouring it all. Toushirou, on the hand, kept a close eye on the male carrot top to make sure that he would not leave them alone in the kitchen. It was acknowledged, so the Strawberry kept to the kitchen by going to the fridge to pour himself a bit of sake to pass the time. Rangiku begged him for some, but was turned down, flatly, as he continued his drink; it almost startled her by his stern answer to her.

"Kurosaki, she can hold her liquor if you give her a little." Toushirou tried to defend his lieutenant.  
He looked to him softly. "Let me handle it, okay? It would be best for you if she stayed sober."  
It took a split second to know that he was serious. "Sorry." His brow then twitched, messing up.  
Rangiku looked at the two before scolding Ichigo. "I've had it, what did you do to taichou—!"  
The Strawberry raised his reiatsu. "Keep… your voice… down." Yelling would scare the other.

"Matsumoto, he didn't do anything to me." Turquoise hues glanced down at the food in front of him. "Can you wait until after dinner? I want to tell you." He heard Ichigo clear his throat when he paused. "It would help if you minimize your rowdiness, otherwise, I might not be able tell you." A hand came to his shoulder.

"You'll be fine." Ichigo whispered.

The next ten minutes were of the two Shinigami officers eating their dinner while Ichigo washed the empty dishes to stay in the room. Toushirou finished in a slight rush so he could be able to dry the dishes for his host as he had been doing for the past few months. It took a moment for the lieutenant to realize that her captain was actually trying to help with the housework as she sat at the table. Rangiku decided she would want to help too for the Hell of it—mainly so she could surprise her captain by doing some housework.

She grabbed the some dirty dishes and hopped over towards them. "Here's the rest!"

Hearing the thud from her jumping towards them with her loud voice, caused Toushirou to jump in fright as he dropped a plate he was drying. The plate was caught by the man in one hand and securely held onto the frightened captain in the other who trembled while clinging to the man. Her eyes were on him as he stared at her in shock, but now that he was humiliated, he turned to try running away from everything.

"Are you going to run?" Ichigo asked softly as the little captain tried to get away from him. "Toushirou…"  
"I-I'll tell her another time, I promise, please let me go!" He was taken aback by the man's attitude.  
"Stop it," when Toushirou stopped struggling, he released him. "It was an accident, she won't hurt you."  
"No… I know… but…" Her eyes were still on him, so he turned on his heels again and started to run—  
"Toushirou!" This time, he yelled seriously, and said male froze. "You can't summon her and then bail."

Rangiku stared at her captain with her eyes wide open as he turned to see the man with tear-filled eyes as he spoke. "You said I could! You said that I don't have to say anything I don't want to! Liar!" He then flinched for daring to call him that after the pain and suffering Harribel forced him to endure when in that Hellhole. "I-I'm sorry—" Toushirou choked, tears flowing down his face. "I—I didn't… it was an accident!"

Ichigo sighed softly as he set the plate aside, dried his hands, and came over to pick up the obviously exhausted captain who accepted it. It did not matter to the small one that his lieutenant saw this; at least she would understand that he was being taken well care of by this man. The man claimed that it was time for a nap, so he took him into his bedroom rather than the guest bedroom before setting him down. He felt Toushirou hold onto his shirt after being placed on the bed, causing Ichigo to stay there a little longer for his comfort and sense of security. Every time Toushirou had decided to make a decision by himself, it would end up in the same similar result of him trying to get out of the mess.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered to the man, still holding his shirt to keep him there. "I didn't mean to say that."  
"You're upset, that's all there is to it." His lips came up and pressed against the small one's forehead.  
Eyelids drooped slowly. "Kurosaki…" hands gripped tighter on the shirt. "I do… want to tell her…"  
"Do you want her to stay the night to tell her in the morning?" The answer was a head shake.  
"…sit against the headboard." Toushirou released him so he could, then crawled over.

"Hey you… I thought you were out of this habit…" Ichigo watched him come over and sat sideways on his lap to lean a shoulder and the side of his head against his chest as the man huffed. "You know better than to do this." His arms draped around the captain's shoulders to hold him against his firm body.

"Matsumoto," Toushirou called out, hoping that she heard him.  
She came in a moment later and gawked, "w-w-what is this!"  
Feeling safe, the captain did not budge. "I want to tell you…"  
"Tell me what?" Rangiku noticed Ichigo's protective attitude.

There was a long pause before Toushirou could say a word. "First off… Kurosaki warned me to stay away and to be careful, so this isn't his fault. It's—" he felt the arms hold him a little more closely. "It's no one's fault." He felt the woman come closer to sit on the chair at the desk almost across the room. "I don't really recall exactly how long ago it was… maybe four or five months ago, I was…" Toushirou tensed, trying to say to someone else other than this man was hard. His words came out into a soft whisper. "Assaulted…" No… he knew that he had to say the entire truth to her. "I was… sexually assaulted… by humans…"

Rangiku sat there, trying to figure out if he was lying or playing a joke until she somehow knew that this was the truth. "Ichigo," she started—she wanted to yell and scream at him, but did not. "Why did you—"  
"I didn't know…" The man interrupted quietly. "When you hinted that he didn't go to Soul Society that day, I knew something happened, and spent days to find him almost near the other side of the country."  
It dawned on her that Ichigo mentally blamed himself for everything that happened. "Taichou's safe now, I guess that's all that matters then, right?" She smiled weakly towards the two; trying to absorb things still.

"He's recovered from most of the trauma, but the fact remains that he's still nervous around women that have similar figures to yours." Ichigo stated quietly. "Toushirou acts like himself when I'm not around, but when I'm alone with him, well… it turns to something like this as you can see." He watched as the captain closed his eyes to fall asleep. "He chose to call you in here while he's like this, I don't know why though."

"Taichou feels safe with you of course." Rangiku answered quietly. "I'm sorry I thought you hurt him."  
"You were just being protective of him, I understand." The man felt him shift loosely. "…Toushirou…"  
"I'm tired, let me sleep." He could feel the man getting aroused, but did not care." Let me sleep…"  
"Does Hitsugaya-taichou sleep in here with you?" Her answer was a soft nod from her captain.  
"To make sure the day starts and ends in a good day, he sleeps in here." Ichigo explained.

"Does that mean he would sleep in my barracks after next month?" She saw her captain shutter. "You _do_ graduate next month Ichigo, Soutaichou won't let him stay unless he knows what happened here." It was true, but telling him would probably shatter what pride Toushirou had left. "I want to know all of the rules for taichou, I want to make it so that he's not afraid of me. Please tell me everything I need to know."

"Maybe another time, Toushirou is exhausted from having a bad day." The man whispered softly; the little captain had _supposedly _fallen asleep already. "Can you watch over him while I finish doing the dishes?"

"Nonsense, he would have a fit." She stood. "I'll do the dishes and lock up before I leave."

"Lock the door behind you, please." After that, the two males went to sleep after he changed.

* * *

Eyelids fluttered open slowly when the spring rain came drizzling down on the balcony glass doors, it was loud, but he was a light sleeper now. He tried to feel for the woman's presence anywhere near the room and apartment but she was thankfully nowhere around. Knowing for sure that she had definitely returned to Soul Society, the small captain scooted over to lean against the man in order to go back to sleep. His host groaned in slight discomfort when a leg slightly leaned over his pelvis, and Toushirou immediately understood why. This man was aroused in his sleep, leading the little captain to become a little curious as to what he had downstairs in his boxers.

_'Kurosaki would understand…'_ He always did, so Toushirou carefully shifted the covers off to sit atop of the man. _'He can't deny my curiosity while he's asleep.'_ His eyes looked at the man's bare chest; the man wore only his boxers to have him adjust to more skin of others. _'His brows are still knitted in his sleep…'_ Toushirou scooted down past the bulge in the man's boxers, and cautiously slipped the clothing away to see the hard member. _'The size and shape is different than mine.'_ It was honestly the first time he had the chance to see a male's sexual organ that was not his since those monsters would use him from behind.

A small pale finger came over and touched it to see nothing happen, so he used his hands to get the feel of it, but felt it get bigger. This was making him aroused as well, but he noticed that Ichigo was starting to feel good—and it reminded him of a few women who would do other things to him. His head lowered down, keeping an eye on the sleeping man before tasting what was in his hand, eventually having to put his mouth on it. It gave him a reaction from the man that he did not expect, but it only encouraged him to continue his work… though, Ichigo stirred awake.

It took a second to realize what was going, and he jolted wide-awake, "Toushirou, stop that right now!"  
Startled, he bit down by accident before withdrawing, earning Ichigo's pain. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't—!"  
He tried to hold his anger and pain. "What do you think you're doing!" He gritted through his teeth.  
"I-I was… I-I don't…" This man was furious with him, seeing him this angry startled him. "I'm sorry!"

Ichigo could only concentrate on the pain now so he would not accidentally attack the captain.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Toushirou had chosen to isolate himself and turn mute for the week after what he did to his host; it was almost as if he raped him despite no penetration. When the man was taking a shower the next day, he slipped onto the computer to find out that it was called oral rape in which threw him into shame. He would constantly try to apologize to his victim, though, none of the words ever left his mouth as he desperately tried. Today was going to make it one exact week of silence, and Toushirou was keeping himself closed up in the guestroom since he disappointed the man. They did not go to a bathhouse as planned, did not go to the shrine together as planned, everything but eating meals did not go as planned.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was tired of his sulking.

He knocked on the door, "I'm coming in," the door opened, and he saw Toushirou huddled under the covers. "Alright Toushirou," the man came over after closing the door quietly, "come on, it's time to talk." His form came over and sat next to him on the bed. "Does isolating yourself have anything to do with it?"

"I raped you…" Toushirou finally spoke, "I orally raped you…"

Things became quieter than it already was, but the captain was taken aback when his small form was picked up and placed on his lap. He tried to squirm away so that he would not get the man angry, but he knew that resisting would, in fact, make him angrier. Arms wrapped around him to keep him calm as a head lowered down on his shoulder to assure the captain that everything was okay. Deep turquoise hues looked up to see that the man was not angry with him in the slightest, making him settle down a bit.

"I'm not angry with you, but I _am_ slightly disappointed." Ichigo stated quietly. "Despite that, I understand."  
"How can you understand when even I don't know why I did that?" He tore his gaze away, to not get sucked into his grasp. "I never seen another man's body, I thought I could see yours, and then…"  
"Next time, ask me when I'm awake, okay?" The man received a nod. "Is sleeping with someone still something that you want?" He earned his full attention. "We can go base by base if that's what you want."  
"I-If this is about what I did, I didn't mean to bite you. You yelled, and it startled me… I would never—"

"I know," his hand came up, caressing the captain's face, "but I can't continue babying you with only a few weeks left until you return to Soul Society." The captain turned around to face him as he put two small hands on his muscular chest. "Do you still want to do it with me, to reclaim your body?" He received a slow nod. "Will you promise to tell me when to stop when you want me to?" Again, a slow nod of a head.

"I will…"

A thumb caressed pale lips before carefully leaning in to steal the captain's first real kiss before waiting to see Toushirou's reaction. Turquoise hues hid under eyelids as he sat there waiting for more, which was obliged to as the captain began to understand the rhythm. If Toushirou did not catch on to how to kiss, then the entire thing would blow up in his face, but he started to get into it after adjusting. Small arms wrapped around the man's neck to bring him closer as he feels the constriction in his pants that caused some discomfort. A hand came down to help the slightly whining captain with the problem by unzipping his pants and unbuttoning it so that it could breathe.

Toushirou closed the gap between their chests to keep the hand there against his quickly hardening member, but felt the hand shift to undo the other pair of pants. He squirmed away lightly so he could look at the large length beneath the pair of boxers, but heard Ichigo tell him he could touch if he wanted. This distracted him almost, but he knew that he wanted to continue with what they started with, and kissed the man with care. His shirt was being lifted slowly as they still kissed one another, but his body somehow automatically allowed the shirt to be taken away from him. Ichigo wanted to be fair, so he removed his shirt as well before small arms returned to his neck, but his plans were changed.

"Let me know me know if it's too much."

The captain was too breathless to ask what he had meant, but soon found himself overwhelmed as the man began trailing butterfly kisses down his jaw, to his neck. He felt hands softly crawl up his sides to play with his nipples as they were once going to do before when Ichigo stopped himself. His hands then grasped strands of hair as he felt a tongue swarm one of his erected nipples, and felt himself spill inside his garments. Toushirou wanted to stop to take a breather, but it felt good since he was experiencing a kinder side of what sex could be like, so he wanted to keep going.

A hand slipped Toushirou's lower clothing to his knees before feeling the hand shift over to lower the man's boxers to reveal his stiff erection. Ichigo leaned back a little more before rubbing their pelvises against one another—causing Toushirou to moan loudly in bliss as his cheeks reddened. The mixture of confusion and ecstasy was more than he could take, and he once again ejaculated, but this time it spread over the man's chest. As much as he tried to apologize, nothing but moans escaped from his throat as that devil of a hand caressed both of the lengths with the motion of the already making friction. There was a loud buzz going on in his mind, the difference between the monsters and Kurosaki Ichigo was beyond what he could have imagined. Touches were caring, gentle, and accurately arousing to no end—and it was just as he predicted, the incident was behind him as his felt himself coated with Ichigo's presence.

"K-Kuro—" Toushirou tried to find his voice, "w-wait—" The man stopped to look at him, concerned that he did something wrong. "I-It feels… too good…" His face was entirely flushed. "T-This… it's like nothing, nothing I experienced, with those monsters…" He closed his eyes as he received a kiss on his forehead.

"What they did to you, was sexually assault you." Ichigo whispered. "What I'm simply doing, is loving you."

This had the small captain look at him in confusion, trying to understand what he meant by this, but found himself leaning against him to receive another kiss. He tried to rock himself against the muscular man, but his attempts failed even though he heard a deep growl from his partner. It did not take long for Toushirou to spill a third time, adding to the white liquid mess that was already spreading against his torso. All of the fluids that were being released felt good instead of painful; why could he _not_ have been through this?

"You surprisingly have a lot of stamina," Ichigo whispered softly into his ear. "Are you ready for me to stretch you out?" He earned a shaken nod. "You have to lay down on the bed for it." The man watched as he obediently let go of him to lay back against the bed with legs propped by Ichigo's own. "Toushirou…"  
"I want you to look at me…" The captain knew that he spread his legs wide enough to expose himself to this man while blushing deeply. "You've never made an indication of what you think about it. You always said that it was professional." Despite this, he grabbed the shirt next to him, and covered his face shyly.  
_'You're very cute Toushirou,'_ he could not help but smile at his reaction of what he wanted. "Let's get these off you." Ichigo removed what clothing the captain had left before bringing out the lube that was supposed to be for Renji. "This will be a little cold, but I'll stop when you want me to, alright?"

"I-I know that already!" The captain yelled into the shirt, embarrassed. "Stop saying that to me!"

_'There's that spark.'_

A finger carefully slipped inside, gently pushing and pulling while the captain tried to keep his voice muffled with the shirt over his face. Toushirou could feel himself going in rhythm with it as if they were in unison, however, it was just one single finger teasing him and not the real deal. Another slid in careful as he noted that Ichigo was trying careful about striking any memories that would make him relive any shred of Hell he encountered. The more he tried to remember, the more difficult it became as Ichigo's touch had already engulfed him to a new level that trumped the bad feelings. As a third finger entered, something gently removed the shirt away; revealing a little captain with his eyes shut tightly as if to hide.

"I like seeing my partner's face, Toushirou," his voice stated quietly, teasingly even. "I want to hear you say that you want this." He was looked at, as if he was crazy. "It's not that hard at all, you can do it."

Toushirou turned his embarrassed gaze to a different direction."…I want this…" His faced reddened.  
He smiled at this. "You really are cute," he grabbed a condom package from his back pocket. "Really."  
"D-Don't say things like that," his eyes shut tightly again. "T-This is already embarrassing enough!"  
"I'm not lying," Ichigo stated tauntingly as he slipped the condom on. "You _are_ cute, Toushirou."  
The captain felt himself picked up and set in the man's lap. "Don't say that to me Kurosaki…"

"It's your turn to do some work, go ahead and set yourself down, and do whatever you want."

With that said, Ichigo scooted forward before lying down on the bed, and Toushirou did as he wanted.

* * *

The captain stirred awake slowly to find himself fully clothed and the man at his side was absent, his voice could be heard in the front room in which caused him to walk out to the scene and investigate. His rear-end slightly hurt from the entire day's event yesterday, but there was no way in Hell that he would take it back. He poked his head out from the hallway to earn the immediate attention of the redheaded lieutenant that sat on the couch across from the host. Toushirou mentally took in a deep breath before coming over to join them—the redhead smirked at him though, and received a scowl.

"Renji…" Ichigo warned.

"S-Sorry," his throat cleared, trying to behave. "Good morning, Hitsugaya-taichou."  
"Have I done something amusing, Abarai?" The captain glared dangerously.  
"He knows we slept together by how you were walking in here." Ichigo explained.  
In his defense, the redhead spoke clearly. "My lips are sealed, I'm already in trouble."  
"It turns out that Renji didn't use a condom and got Rukia pregnant, Byakuya's mad."  
Toushirou scoffed at this. "His lieutenant and his sister, it would scar his nobility."  
"Hey." Ichigo shared his omelet. "He just found out he's going to be a father."  
He looked at him before taking the bite that was offered. "I was only explaining it."

"Are… you two a couple?" Renji interrupted their soon to be conversation, and they looked at him. "Far be it from me to say anything, but you two are acting like buddies suddenly." The two blinked at him quietly.  
The carrot top was the one that recovered first. "Last night was in the heat of the moment, but judging by our situation, I would say we're still friend with benefits, that don't relate to sexual activities mind you."  
He stared at him firmly. "Seeing how your hiding something from me and keeping your guard up slightly, I can only assume something happened to Hitsugaya-taichou. That said, I hope everything is alright now?"  
Toushirou almost flinched at this, but managed to stay strong. "Yes, there were complications on my end, and Kurosaki has gone above and beyond to help me." He then whispered. "For it, I'm forever grateful."

It hit the lieutenant and looked to Ichigo, "that's why you wouldn't tell me where those punks were… you killed them because they got to Hitsugaya-taichou, didn't you?" Silence was his answer, and he knew the truth. "Ichigo, you can't just go around killing people who kidnap your friends in your—" He was glared at.

"I was in my human body," Ichigo stated sharply, but sighed heavily. "If they had taken him as they took you, then I really _would_ have transformed and killed them all." He softened. "You know what to do, right?"

"Like I said, my lips are sealed." Eventually, he looked to the captain to see him on edge. "Can I tell him my side? I don't have to ask about his." Ichigo nodded softly, so Renji began to explain. "A while back, I came by to visit here, and Ichigo had warned me before to stay away from those men. When I saw them chasing a guy, I couldn't help but chase them." His hands laced together. "They all went into an alleyway only to corner me—it was all a trap. Some of the guys grabbed me before I could get out of my gigai, so I did what I was supposed to, and called for Ichigo." He lightly shook. "Ichigo had apparently chased us…"

"When I found them holding Renji inappropriately in front of me, I snapped." Ichigo explained, knowing it was getting difficult for the redhead to speak. It was also to make sure the words were chosen carefully. "I lost myself to Hollow side, which is Vasto Lorde level, and killed all but five men before he stopped me."

"Then why didn't you snap when you rescued me?" Toushirou seemed a little bummed about it.  
He smiled weakly at the slight jealous he heard from him. "You kidding? Walking for days without sleep or food? I killed those idiots and let the others kill and burn everyone else." The man offered his meal to him.  
He took it without much thought, now slowly eating the meal. "I suppose I didn't think it through, sorry."

Renji saw the reaction between the two though he paid most of his attention towards the Strawberry who rustled the captain's head to tell him not to apologize. His eyes met with chocolate brown liquid pools to figure out the truth within them—that Kurosaki Ichigo blamed himself for everything. As soon as Ichigo realized that the redhead figured out what he was feeling, both of them stood in unison and went to his bedroom to talk about it. Toushirou was a little confused about the sudden decision of leaving the room, but he was not going to ask what was happening between them.

After he finished the meal, he placed it in the sink, and checked on the two.

Listening to them…

"Ichigo, whatever happened with Hitsugaya-taichou, I'm sure that it's not your fault." The lieutenant's voice was trying to stay quiet. "I'm sure he did something stupid just like I did to set those guys off."  
"I should have taken their lives the day they even looked at Momo, but I didn't want to cause harm to life. But not going with my instincts caused you and Toushirou pain." He sounded as if he was in pain himself.  
"The more you kill, the more you lose yourself, I know that." There was a slight pause, letting things sink in. "But being with friends, it keeps you sane. I can't help but think that Hitsugaya-taichou is helping you."

"You don't know how painful it is Renji, not only do I need self control during the day, but during the time I use to sleep too." He sighed with stress, trying to figure things out as he spoke. "Every second in the day, I worry that I'll snap and hurt him, I'm terrified that I might scare him worse than those bastards ever did."

"Are you saying that your Hollow side is interested?" The two turned to see Toushirou whom asked this question, but Ichigo quickly looked away from him. "Abarai, can you leave us for the moment if you will."

"Yeah," Renji looked to the other man, "I have to get to Rukia anyway," he frowned. "Will you be okay?"  
Ichigo shrugged. "It doesn't matter, I'll take what's coming to me." His shoulder was patted, Renji left.  
"Why did you have sex with me." Toushirou asked after Renji left the apartment. "Was it your Hollow?"

"Come on… sit down," he brought him over to the bed to sit down. "My Hollow side is very demanding because of our power. A little after you began to sleep in my bed, it began to desire the attention you were giving me, and talking in your sleep did not exactly help." Ichigo smiled weakly so the captain would not think that any of this was his fault. "A week ago when you pulled that stunt, it drove my Hollow to its peak of attempting to fight me for my body, that's why I accidentally yelled at you." His hand came to the small one's chin to keep him looking eye to eye instead of blushing and turning away as he was. "Yes, my Hollow side was interested, so I offered my body to you so that I would know you would not be in any danger." The man caressed his face. "It was me with you last night, not my Hollow, or anyone else."

Toushirou nodded as he subconsciously leaned into his hand. "You had me have sex with you so you wouldn't lose control over your Hollow?" He saw him flicker. "I'm not mad, especially after last night."  
"There's nothing for you to worry about now, but you need to understand that from my point of view, it wasn't _sex_ last night." The man sighed. "Sex is just another word for having intercourse on impulse."  
"You told me that you were loving me… but to assume that our involvement together last night was love is to imply too much." Thinking of it was making him panic. "Kurosaki, I don't mean to lead you on that I—"  
"I know, calm down. What I meant was that I care for you, I love you as a friend like I do with Momo, Rangiku-san, Renji, Rukia, and a lot of others." He watched him settle down. "I don't want to hurt you."  
"Whatever last night was, I never experienced it in that manner." It was his turn to try smiling for him now. "It opened a new perspective for me, but I had never thought that I could be anymore grateful to you."

"That's something I haven't seen in a while." Ichigo brought a hand up to caress the smiling lips. "It's a shame though… that I got used to you staying here, I might begin to actually miss you after I graduate."

The captain then began to frown as he thought about this for a moment or how he would have to go back to Soul Society without this man there to keep him safe. There was nothing that he could do about it unless he was able to admit to the Commanding-General what had happened to him a few months ago. If he did this, then he would have the chance to stay here a little longer until to receive a little more time to be positive that he would be fine. Toushirou looked to the man who lowered his hand from his face, took in a deep breath, and then asked him flat out to avoid misunderstanding.

"Can I stay here with you a little longer, until I'm absolutely sure that I will not cause a scene?" The small captain saw how Ichigo was a little confused by this. "I can sleep in the guestroom, I practiced this week."

"Toushirou, you need to take a step to find your independence." Having him stay here would not help.  
"I will tell Soutaichou what happened." He started. "And gradually work my way to how I used to be."  
His brows knitted more than usual. "Jii-san would possibly want Unohana-san's opinion on this though."  
"I need to stop being a coward, I'm proud to know that I am a survivor, with a friend who has saved me."  
This made him chuckle a little as he leaned up against the headboard. "Whatever you think is right."

"Since you had me on my own for a few hours here, and Matsumoto understands my situation, maybe I could work one day at a time before coming back here to sleep." Toushirou looked at him in hopes of having him agree. "After a while, I'll stay there for a week, then recuperate here. Eventually, I would try for a month, and after that, hopefully I'll be ready to stay in Soul Society without your help." He waited now.

"Which means I won't have any sex while you're around here," the man huffed as he scratched the back of his head—instantly feeling lips softly press against his. "T-Toushirou, what do you think you're doing?"  
"If you have sexual impulses while I'm here, I want to help you. You can have your desires met, and my fear erased more." He earned a disapproval reaction. "What you said to me last night intrigued me…"  
"We talked a lot last night, you need to be a little more specific." As he said this, the captain came over and sat on his lap as he did last night. "The communicator's on Toushirou, this isn't a good time to—"

"I asked you why you let me sit atop of you during intercourse," he did not bother to say sex to bring up any word corrections again. "And you told me that you wanted to see the look in my eyes, was it true?"

Ichigo could not help but turn his weak smile into a smirk. "Yeah, when I'm with someone for the first time, I like looking into their eyes." He chuckled. "But you… you were begging to enjoy it if I'm not mistaken."  
Cheeks turned bright red before hiding against the man's chest. "That's because you took good care of me, I didn't feel any pain." A thought occurred to him, _'I wonder how he did it.'_ He leaned up to his neck—  
"Ah… no… none of that, okay? You need a few more hours before you could do any more activities." A moment later, the captain looked at him. "Be good and let your body rest up before—" His watch beeped.

Toushirou left his lap and sat on the bed a few feet away from him.

On the screen, Rukia appeared with the most depressed face either of them had ever seen, but the man had an idea about what this was about. It did not take long for her to announce her pregnancy to them—not caring about the fact that there was a captain next to the man she was talking to. She explained how she and Renji slept together without protection because it was spur of the moment, which led to her having conceived this unborn child. The minutes went by as she explained how furious her adoptive brother was due to their nobility, and being with his lieutenant. However, it finally came down to her real reason of calling this man, and the question was what Ichigo knew she was going to ask from him.

"…should I have an abortion?" Rukia asked quietly. "I'm scared… of what would happen…"

"I can't tell you what to do, that's something between you and Renji, Rukia. I can't be involved in your decision, but I can give you a little bit of advice." The Strawberry watched her nod worriedly. "No one took away precious moments of your life, it's up to you and Renji to take away a precious life that has not a moment to live." He looked at her helplessly, trying to make her feel at ease. "Whatever you decide, I'll support you. If you keep it, I'll help you… if you don't, I won't judge you. Just do what you think is right."

The captain stared at him for using these words.

"What if it was your child?" She whispered, a little scared. "What if it was a child between you and—"  
"It isn't," Ichigo interrupted sharply, startling her, making him feel guilty. "Renji and I are different."  
Her head nodded slowly, "I'll ask Renji what he wants to do, thanks Ichigo…" the screen went blank.  
"Take care, Rukia…" he muttered to her despite the fact that the transmission ended. "Good grief…"  
"Do you say that to everyone? To do what others think what's right?" Toushirou asked in a quiet tone.  
The man turned to look at him, before looking at the ground. "It a necessity that needs to be heard."

He thought about it, and almost smirked. "I suppose you're right." Suddenly, the man got up on the bed towards him. "K-Kurosaki, what are you doing?" Arms wrapped around his small back, a head against his lower abdomen, and he slowly settled down when seeing that the man was just tired. "Are you alright?"

"I'm tired of being strong…" Ichigo mumbled exhaustedly, eyes closed. "If you want me to move… I will."

"Yes, I do." The captain watched him obediently release him to roll over. This allowed him to get up and disconnect the communicator before returning to the bed. He took Ichigo's position by sitting against the headboard so he would be comfortable. "There, now I don't mind what you do Kurosaki, you can rest."

"You made me move… just for that damn thing?" He growled tiredly before snaking his arms around the captain. "I was going to be nice, but now you pissed me off!" His nose lifted Toushirou's shirt and blew.

"K-KUROSAKI!"

The vertically challenged male began squirming and trying his best to get away from him as he tried his utmost best to keep himself from giggling and laughing. It was too late, one hand was at his side, the other at a foot, and a pair of gentle lips blowing raspberries against his pale stomach with no mercy. His laughter filled the air as he begged the man to stop—that he admitted defeat with joyful fits as he still tried to get away playfully. Suddenly, all of the rubbing against the man through all of his squirming had made him aroused easily, causing his face to flush as he tried to be serious now.

"K-Kurosaki—please stop, I mean it! I-I—" Toushirou tried to calm down now. "I-I'm… I need to go to—"  
"Are you embarrassed? You were fine being aroused in front of me last night." He whispered softly.  
His cheeks reddened lightly as he nodded. "I was still embarrassed last night… you were covered in—"  
"Don't be scared when I tell you this, okay?" The man looked him in the eyes. "And don't run off either."  
Hearing how he said them made everything silent in the room. "What is it? I… I can't hold it much longer."

"Even after being sexually assaulted for days a few months ago, and the incident with the Hollow, you really have moved on from that place in your life to start anew." Ichigo stated quietly as he kept an eye on him. "Last night, you enjoyed the activities the way you are supposed to since it's supposed to be pleasurable, not abusive. For that, I'm very proud of you."

Toushirou looked away, blushing, "…can you take care of this?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

"I know I said a few of you could come—but I didn't mean all of you!" Ichigo yelled in surprise at the large group of Shinigami dressed as humans in their gigai. "What about Soul Society with everyone here!"

"Oh, don't be such a party-pooper Ichigo-kun!" Ukitake Juushirou swayed a hand lightly. "There's only four taichou, three fukutaichou, and a little over a dozen other Shinigami officers…" This struck a nerve.  
"Listen here… all of you plus Urahara-san's group, plus my family and other friends, I don't have enough tickets for everyone—" Everyone showed him their _authentic_ tickets to be allowed to his graduation. "I—"  
"Everyone's here to celebrate you evolution from becoming an idiot to someone smart, Kurosaki." The smallest captain sneered. "Just be grateful that we decided that we wanted to participate by coming."  
Toushirou's busty lieutenant threw herself against the man, sobbing happily. "That's right Ichigo! You have to let us celebrate with you! Let's get drunk and have lots of fun at my place tonight! Oh please—"  
"No way, I have…" Ichigo paused, trying to think of away to say it without having to actually say it. "…an errand that I have to deal with, and I don't know if I would be in the mood afterwards. Maybe tomorrow."  
"It's actually a little amazing to see that Hitsugaya-taichou lasted so long staying at Ichigo-kun's place." Kyouraku Shunsui stated in amusement. "I almost thought he would have been asking for a replacement."  
"Kurosaki-kun took good care of Hitsugaya-kun—taichou." Momo corrected herself, softly giggling. "But their right, we can be here to support you no matter what you say!" She cheered as if winning a victory.  
Ichigo grasped a handful of his hair, sensing something that was not right with Hueco Mundo. "Fine… do whatever you want." He turned and walked away. "Promise not to cause any trouble while you're here."

Toushirou opened his mouth to call out to the man—to ask him what was wrong with his head while the others assumed he was annoyed. However, the redheaded male lieutenant softly placed a hand on his shoulder to receive his attention, his head slightly shook disapprovingly. As everyone began to head to the stadium to find some good seats, the two stayed so they could have a moment alone, in private.

"Only a handful of us know that Ichigo controls Hueco Mundo, if the others find out on a day like this, who knows how upset he would be." Renji stated quietly, removing his hand. "This day is to support Ichigo and let him know that we're here for him. For once in his life, I want him to know that _we_ support him instead."

"You may not care about his safety, but I do." As the captain began to turn, he was roughly grabbed.  
Rangiku slapped the redhead suddenly. "Don't touch taichou inappropriately." She turned to her captain.  
"…Matsumoto…" He blinked at her, trying to snap out of his surprised state. "What are you doing, I—"  
"I didn't listen to the conversation, but I was watching to make sure he wouldn't do anything to you."  
His eyes regained their regular calmness, almost smirking now. "Thank you, Matsumoto. Let's go."

As the two left, Renji growled in annoyance. "You're here, aren't you, _Grimmjow_." The creature whom went by the name appeared behind him. "If she didn't slap me, you would have attacked me, right?"

There was no reply as Grimmjow turned and left the scene to watch from another dimension, forcing Renji to know his position in the chain. After everything was sorted out in his mind, he followed everyone to the stadium where they all met Ichigo's family, Ichigo's human friends, and Urahara Kisuke's group. As they were all chattering while they sat in a bunch taking four rows of a couple seats, a few had noted a change in Ichigo's reiatsu. Despite their argument outside, Toushirou seated himself between his lieutenant, and the redhead one as well since they were aware of his unease around others on occasion.

"Shit… tonight's a full moon," Renji hissed as the anthem began to play loudly and graduates coming out to be noticed. He looked to the captain next to him, "did he take anything from you last night or today?"  
At first, the small one did not understand. "What do you—" the lieutenant pointed to the spot between his own collarbones, motioning Ichigo's Hollow marking where he obtains reiatsu when weak. "No, why?"  
"…that's not good…" he slowly fell back into his chair, swallowing hard as he gripped the arms of the chair. As soon as he caught sight of the Strawberry in a new attire, he swallowed his gikongan. "Ichigo!"

The group of Shinigami and friends watched as the redhead in his Shinigami form stood from his seat, but as he did, it became trouble. Ichigo brought a hand up to swallow his own little pill so that Kon could do the graduating for him as his Shinigami form began to fall over. Renji froze as Stark appeared to catch the man before he hit the ground, glared up at the group in their seats, and vanished from their sight. This caused mainly Juushirou and Shunsui to panic for seeing the familiar face—suddenly, Lilinette appeared!

She stood midair in front of them. "Stark is feeding Kurosaki-sama, he'll be back soon." She disappeared.

"…damn it." The redhead muttered under his breath, causing the others to look at him.  
Rukia placed a hand on his arm, "you know he's going to be back soon, why are you so worried?"  
"Things get scary when he doesn't have enough reiatsu." He slowly returned into his sitting gigai.  
"His reiatsu was just fine last night," Toushirou stated without care. "If you think that—"

"I know _exactly _what happened, but I'm guessing there's still things that you don't even know about s—"

Ichigo appeared right in front of him outside of a garganta, looking him straight in the eye fiercely, before telling him to be quiet. As soon as the redheaded lieutenant settled deep against his seat with a slow nod to acknowledge, the carrot top vanished to his human body. Renji, as unsettled as ever, kept his mouth shut for the rest of the time being while everyone turned to the ceremony that finally began. There was a person particular that watched the ceremony with partial suspicion; surprised to know that the loudmouth male lieutenant knew something that he, a genius captain, did not. Toushirou felt uncomfortable about the fact that there was a sort of lingering sense of understanding between Ichigo and this idiot next to him.

"Now then, a word from our number one student—not just from the medical district, but throughout the entire University, who should beat all of our highest records!" The woman turned to look at the front row of students, clasping her hands together. "Kurosaki Ichigo, would you care to come up and say something?"

The Shinigami, friends, and family almost jumped as the entire stadium roared with cheers and horns that were supposed to be forbidden from the stadium. It seemed like either they all knew the Strawberry, or they were all just excited that after Kurosaki Ichigo's speech, everyone can receive their diplomas to study and practice their careers. As the man came up to the podium to place a hand up to calm everyone down, but then leaned his hands against the edges of the stand, smirking almost casually.

"I haven't showed my face too much around here for the past few months, so I'm a little surprised that all of you are trying to be nice." Everyone laughed at his words. "No, I'm serious, how many of you know who I am anymore?" The laughs turned to cheers and rooting with pride, and he chuckled. "Okay, I guess you guys _do_ remember me. Alright, alright, where do I begin so I don't bore anyone to death?"

Everyone listened as Ichigo began making his speech and motivate others as he's supposed to while trying to settle everyone down. They all listened to the things that have been practiced by looking at a mirror for hours—Toushirou could recite himself he was told to. After two minutes, his speech was finished, he took a second to think about something, and decided to look up at the friends and families.

"These past few months have been difficult for me and others, so I can't compare myself to anyone, but I have something to say that isn't in my speech." He wiped his face to keep himself strong. "Something had happened a few months ago, it was a life lesson that did not need to be taught, but was dealt with. I won't say anything about what happened, but I will say one thing, and it's the fact that it made me stronger… it made me more determine to do what I believe in before I die and move on to another life." Ichigo quietly chuckled before saying in fake joy. "Everyone knows what I'm going to say right? Keep moving forward—"

"—AND DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT!" All the graduates behind him cheered.

As the stadium went through another commotion, Ichigo returned to his seat with the rest of his class, and Toushirou tried to stay in his seat patiently. The little captain wanted to run over there and slap him over the head to ask him what he meant by what he had just told everyone. It took an hour for everyone to walk in front of everyone and shake hands with professors while receiving what they came for—then Ichigo came up when his name was called. Kurosaki Isshin went jumping up and down excitedly, acting like a cheerleader while making kissy faces and shaking his ass; it terrified the Shinigami, so his tomboy daughter punched him in the face. When the ceremony was over, the large group left to wait for him out of the stadium where everyone was looking for their loved one. At least they did not have to, they could sense his reiatsu as he was coming closer towards the group until finally in sight, smiling happily at them.

"Onii-chan!" Yuzu rushed over and embraced him, crying with joy. "Congratulations!"

Ichigo laughed and swung her around, "you're too old for this Yuzu, you're heavy!"  
"That's not something you should say to a woman Ichigo!" Rukia scolded the man.  
"She's my sister, I can harass her all that I want to." He stuck his tongue out at her.  
Byakuya lightly scolded him too. "Kurosaki, don't attempt to coax her to attack you."  
"Yeah… pregnant women can be scary." The carrot top should have remembered.  
"Are you alright?" Renji asked seriously, earning his attention. "Are you really ok—"

"I'm fine," he smiled as he placed his sister down, and patted his other sister's head. "I'm surrounded by friends and family, there's nothing else that matters." His stomach growled. "…except an early dinner?"

Everyone laughed and headed towards a nearby restaurant where Isshin led them all.

* * *

"Who would have guessed everyone would get drunk… even Byakuya," the Strawberry looked over to the small captain and pregnant woman, smiling softly. "You two should get some sleep, you deserved it."

To celebrate Ichigo graduating from university, they went out to eat dinner along with having a few drinks on the way. Having found all the hidden booze that Rangiku hid before going to the graduation, everyone but Rukia and Toushirou began to drink. Now all were unconsciousness and drunk, lying against Ichigo's front room and kitchen—some huddled against each other. Rukia was offered by the captain to take the guestroom since there were clean sheets on the bed, so she did just that to get away from the alcohol. It left the Strawberry to defend for himself as he placed Renji, Byakuya, Juushirou, and Shunsui up to sit on one couch in that exact order. Then, as an impossible fight, placed Orihime, Yuzu, Momo, Karin, and Rangiku on the other couch, where as others were leaned on the sides of the couches so that everyone would be herded into the front room. With everyone collected into one single room, Ichigo came into the kitchen to have a glass of ice-cold water, and Toushirou walked in quietly.

Eventually, he spoke first, "having intercourse drains your reiatsu, doesn't it?" There was no sign of an answer, meaning that it was true. "Why won't you tell me these things when their important? If it causes a risk to you and others, then I wouldn't have asked—" The man looked at him softly. "It's a risk to me, too."

"Yeah, sorry," Ichigo whispered. "Restraining myself drains me. I'm very aware of myself when it comes to you, so I don't harm you." He patted his head softly, caressing through his strands. "Go take my bed."  
Turquoise hues widened slightly when realizing something that the man was trying to avoid saying to him, and judging on other reactions, he knew. "Your Hollow wants you to be in charge, until now, you let me—"  
"Toushirou, your safety—and your recovery, is far more important to me than my own satisfaction. Do you understand?" His eyes caught glimpse that the small one was going to complain. "Do you understand?"  
The firm tone he gave had kept him quiet. "A question," if he said this, Ichigo would have to wait and listen before scolding him. "If I decide to encounter with either a man or woman, I can't always be on top."  
Knowing that the captain would say this, causes him to inhale deeply. "You know that I'll let you use my body as you want, but you have to take it easy. We already do it once a week as it is. You need to talk—"

"Let's go right now." A hand grabbed a large callused one before placing another hand on it. "Please, while the others are sleeping before the sun going down." Toushirou saw uncertainty in the man about this. "I don't think I'll have the strength to confront him alone—you saw my reaction towards Matsumoto."

"Toushirou, if I go…" it did not matter as large pleading eyes looked at him, and gave up. "Fine, let's go."

Seeing a silent hidden smile from the little captain, Ichigo watched him swallow his gikongan and told the soul to go to bed in Ichigo's room. The man hid his frown as he swallowed his own and told Kon to go sleep on the floor in the bedroom—that he would kill him if he slept on a bed with someone. With that said and done, the two left for Soul Society to talk with the old man before it became even later in the day. As they entered the realm, they used their speed to arrive at the old man's office without permission as Ichigo usually would. With one glance from Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni, Ulquiorra Schiffer made his appearance at the carrot tops side.

"I'm not here to fight," the man warned the elder, "Toushirou has asked to talk with you."  
"His question can wait, but as for you," his hand brought out a red collar. "Your punishment can't."  
Ulquiorra began to ready himself to attack, Ichigo called him back quickly. "Settle down…"

Toushirou did not know what was going on here, but took a step forward. "Yamamoto-soutaichou." He bowed. "Forgive our intrusion, but this has to do with my stay in Karakura Town." The elder set the collar down momentarily; Ulquiorra returned to his previous stance. "I would like to request an extended stay to recover from being sexually assaulted by humans for days." His fists tightened, trying his best not to falter as he tried to explain. "I did not follow Kurosaki Ichigo's order, and was held hostage across the country."

There was a very long… inaudible silence lingering through the office, and it was starting to make the small captain a little nervous by the gaze. It was exactly what the Commanding-General wanted to see as proof of his confession of being raped by humans in which brought him to send a Hell Butterfly out to get the medical captain as predicted. They all stayed in silence until the woman came in after she announced her presence, Toushirou shifted to be on Ichigo's other side to stay away. Already aware that it was her large breasts hidden beneath her shihakusho and robes, Ichigo allowed him to move for some distance.

"Ulquiorra, you're dismissed, you'll know to come if something happens." Ichigo demanded, and he did as told by leaving them. He then looked at Unohana Retsu. "Sorry, Toushirou has a slight gynophobia still."  
"Hitsugaya-taichou claims to have been assaulted sexually, I would like for you to examine him to tell me that this is true." Shigekuni demanded firmly, again, to receive a reaction from Toushirou. "Hurry with it."  
"Soutaichou," Retsu started softly after seeing the panic hit the little captain when hearing this. "I can see just by looking in his eyes that he has, indeed, been traumatized. Examining him would do more harm."  
"The examination wouldn't matter either, it has been months since the incident occurred. I had to examine him myself with his permission." Ichigo stated firmly. "Unohana-san, Toushirou, and I can talk about it."

The old man glared. "Then by all means, talk."

It irritated the carrot top to have to explain everything in front of the elder, so he purposely began to speak in medical terms of what had happened. Now the Commanding-General would not fully understand what their conversation was about—and neither did Toushirou luckily. Most of the time, Retsu gave a gentle nod when it came towards the explanation of the internal damages were and what phobias had come from it. They talked for almost an hour after that about the progress that Toushirou had accomplished, and then down to the bottom line of where he was at now.

Retsu looked to the old man, "Kurosaki-kun's explanation of both examination and progress are very in depth of detail. I believe that they are telling the truth." Her attention turned to the small captain. "I am sorry that you had to endure such a thing, Hitsugaya-taichou. I'm glad Kurosaki-kun was there to help."

"What do you purpose we do with young Hitsugaya-taichou then, Unohana-taichou?" Shigekuni asked.

"Kurosaki-kun's method seems to be helping his progress of returning to a stage where he would be most comfortable around others." She turned to him again. "With Hitsugaya-taichou's ability to withstand any fear from Kurosaki-kun is actually a blessing due to his normal independence. I will go with their choices."

"Very well, _after_ his examination, I will hear out your proposal of how you see yourself staying as Taichou of the Tenth Squad." With that, he swayed a hand for them to be dismissed, not wanting to hear anymore.

Toushirou was going to object to being touched, but the Strawberry interrupted. "Let's go then," as Retsu began to lead the way, Ichigo followed where as Toushirou found himself clinging to the man as they left.  
"Kurosaki, I can't do that—you can't force me to be examined, you said so yourself!" The little captain saw the two tall figures stop to look at him, it started to worry him. "I-I'm sorry, I'll stay in Soul Society, just—"  
"Hey, hey, hey, calm down. You'll throw yourself into a panic attack like last time." Ichigo knelt down to his level, placing a finger against his own lips and winking at him. "Everything will be okay, do you trust me?"  
The signals that he indicated meant that he was just putting on a play, but for what? "…yes…" With that, the man stood up and had his hand leave his sleeve as they used flash steps to get to their location.  
After they went to a secluded wing, the three entered a room where Toushirou knew to sit on the bed to be examined. "I see no reason to examine you, Hitsugaya-taichou, I understand what happened to you."  
"…I won't be examined?" He was confused and looked to Ichigo who smiled while nodded his head. It then dawned on him, "this was to have Soutaichou believe that I was going to have one, wasn't it?"

"As you said in the first division, no one can touch you unless you give them the okay." Ichigo sat on a chair next to him. "But you have to think about this, okay? Unohana-san is taking a risk by saying that she is going to examine you when she really isn't, she could get into trouble." He watched as Toushirou began to acknowledge this. "The truth is, you do have a partial scar deep within your rectal that I can't heal." His attention slightly went towards the woman, but knew it was okay. "That's why you cringe in pain at times."

The little one looked away, trying to hide a blush from them. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
"She's has a better chance healing you than I do right now, and I'm sure you don't have to undress."  
"Kurosaki-kun is right, he's learning under me from time to time." Retsu spoke. "If you want, I can help."  
"Maybe, after you let her heal you, you can let her check your vitals as your examination?" Ichigo smiled.  
"She would have to touch me for that." The small one earned a nod from him. "…would you stay here?"  
"Yeah, I'm not leaving Soul Society without you." He chuckled softly, and the other lied on his stomach.

"I _will_ have to ask you to minimize sexual activities to once a week," Retsu claimed, causing the two to flinch. "Though I understand what you are trying to help him accomplish, Kurosaki-kun, you need to be aware that small things can trigger fear." She looked at the Strawberry. "I know you two aren't _together_."

"It's once a week, we started just the end of last month as he wanted. Previously he tried to rush it in a belief that he needed it to cleanse himself." Ichigo scooted over to be near Toushirou's head in case he gave a violent reaction. "After giving him more time to adjust and make more progress, I decided to let him have his practice with me by allowing him to decide the pace." As her hand came towards the little captain's rear, his hand caressed white strands to keep him calm. "After one more, it'll be over with."

"I suppose that means you would have to decide the pace instead?" Retsu asked quietly, watching as the smaller captain flinch, and Ichigo nodded. "Well, from what you told me, your method seems just fine."  
"At least it's good to know I have your approval." He chuckled quietly as she finished healing the internal scar. "Toushirou plans on coming here to do his work little by little. Rangiku-san knows his situation."  
"What about your situation, Kurosaki-kun?" The woman watched him stiffen. "You knew after graduating that you would have to come to have a collar placed on." She moved back as Toushirou jumped up.  
"That's why you sounded reluctant to come here!" Toushirou yelled at the man, grabbing the hem of his robes. "You bastard, why didn't you tell me! Why do you keep hiding these things from me Kurosaki!"  
"I place family and friends before myself." The man answered. "You wanted me to come with you here, and so I came here as you asked despite knowing what would happen." Turquoise hues filled with guilt.  
"And you wonder why everyone has issues with you taking on the world?" Retsu asked beneath her breath in which earned her an annoyed look from the man. "How about a cup of tea then before you go?"

"As great as that sounds, all I want to do is finish here, get my collar, and go home to recover… I should have a futon in the closet." He tried to think about it, only to grumble. "Damn it all, it's going to take weeks to adjust to that collar then if—" His eyes shot open as if he realized something. "That's what it's about…" Ichigo chuckled as he stood up slowly, "that bastard thinks he can control my Hollow powers, huh?" The man's bright orange colored hair began to lengthen to his shoulders. "Unohana-san, take care of Tou—"

Toushirou grabbed his arm, "you're not going to fight!"  
"What?" He was taken aback by the firm demand.  
"I want to go home with you and sleep the day off!"  
His hair returned to normal, "…it can't be helped."

Retsu raised a hand to laugh lightly again, earning their attention. "I'm not used to seeing these sides from either of you." She smiled lightly to the two males. "It's nice to see that the two of you independent gentlemen can depend on each other." Her hands shooed them out. "The examination is done, have fun."

They left the fourth division to return to the office of the cranky old man to report that there was an internal scar that Retsu had to heal. Ichigo then explained for the little captain the plan that he had decided on; it was reluctantly agreed to, and the collar was held up to him. Toushirou then approached this time, telling him that there was no need to leash Kurosaki Ichigo or else there would be less protection for Soul Society and its inhabitants. The arguments they were giving this old man was quite daring of them, and it was acknowledged as the collar was set down—but for a different purpose.

"I want you to write with your blood, that you will not allow another war against Hollow to carry out whilst you live, is that understood?" Shigekuni scooted a piece of paper towards him. "Do so, and I will excuse the fact that you allowed our youngest captain to be violated, and your disagreement to our arrangement."  
"Then you better swear on your position that you're not going mention Toushirou's incident to anyone, is _that_ understood?" It was a negotiation, it was a threat, and it was a dangerous situation. The elder slowly nodded and claimed to agree. "Fine," Ichigo cut his wrist, grabbed a brush, and wrote on the blank paper.  
Once he was finished, his old eyes read the paper of their agreement, and there was an addition to it. "You ungrateful little—" he bit his tongue as to the addition to the piece of paper held over his head like a blade. "Very well," he spat at Ichigo with venom quickly afterwards. "Both of you get out of my sight!"

With that, the two left Soul Society and returned to the apartment where everyone was still snoring loudly.

"You added something, didn't you?" Toushirou whispered as he got comfortable in his gigai that was under the covers of Ichigo's bed as the other pulled out a futon from the closet. "What was it?"  
"If he wanted to sell me out, he would have Hell to pay for." He put the futon on the floor and grabbed some covers. "I'm a valuable piece to Soul Society, without my direction, Hueco Mundo would evolve."  
His words from how he said it made the little captain a bit worried, making him crawl out from under the covers to look at the man lying down next to the bed on the futon. "Kuro—" He paused. "Ichigo…"  
Brown hues looked at the one who gazed up at him from the side of the bed. "Is something wrong?" He sat up slowly to be face to face with him—accidentally too close. "Listen, if you're worried about—"  
"No," the captain whispered softly, before leaning a little farther to kiss his forehead while slightly blushing from doing something that would be down for him. "I appreciate the lengths you go through for me."

"What are friends for?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Their hands were touching him again, their filthy hands going over every centimeter of his small tainted body as he tried to fight them off. Two men held his wrist firmly as another two held his ankles to keep him standing in front of the large audience of drooling men and women. They were all hungry for meat to assault repeatedly until their desires were met, and then another man came towards him to touch his body to show off every detail of him. Toushirou screamed and yelled to be released, a woman then came up on the stage and looked at him closely as she licked her lips at him—

"No!" The captain woke up, shoving whoever was hovering over his body. "Don't touch me you bastard!"  
"Taichou—it's okay—it's me!" Rangiku tried to calm him down due to seeing him having a nightmare.  
"Get the Hell away from me!" He held his head as his reiatsu skyrocketed in which made the room cold.

Not knowing what to do for him when seeing how terrified he was, had only made her terrified as well to see that he could show such pain. Why was Ichigo all the way over in the fourth division at this dire moment as her captain's reiatsu began to weigh her down seriously. She was only there to tell him that it was almost noon and he had yet waken up in which was obviously because he was having a nightmare. Since last night was Friday, Ichigo and Toushirou had been coming to Soul Society to stay over for the weekends to do some separate work. The Strawberry was out of bed at sunrise to learn what he could today while under the teachings of the Fourth Squad Captain. It had taken a few painfully long minutes until Ichigo made it to the barracks of the tenth division, panting from using flash steps with adrenaline.

"Toushirou…" He called quietly, standing there at doorway before closing it as he came in. "Tou—"  
The captain rushed over and clung to him desperately. "I'm sorry, I won't disobey again, I'm sorry!"  
"Disobey—Toushirou," Ichigo sighed softly as he knelt down to be eyelevel with him, "calm down."  
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" His arms wrapped around him, sobbing. "Don't leave me with them! Please!"

"Hey," having no choice, he pulled him off to have him focus, "you need to calm down, you're in Soul Society, and no one here is going to hurt you!" Shaken, the captain looked at him as he tried to look around to see that he was in his own room. "Do you remember? We came here last night so you can work from your office today and tomorrow. If you don't calm down, I'll have to sedate you this time."

"They were touching me…" Toushirou finally calmed down. "T-Their hands… they…"  
"Their all dead, I made sure that they would never come back. You're safe now."  
His franticness had easily exhausted him. "I don't… want to… go back… to sleep…'

Despite saying this, the captain's little body collapsed against Ichigo as light little snore filled the room, leading Ichigo to tuck him back in. Rangiku watched the scene of how well this man was taking care of her very troubled captain, but it also made her feel a little guilty as well. After making sure that Toushirou was snuggled into the futon to sleep, he began to get up to leave—a hand caught his sleeve. Only to look down and see that the sleeping captain had grasped on tightly to him in attempts of having him stay there as he slept a little longer. This was really beginning to cause problems on many levels; Ichigo needed to train, needed to feed on reiatsu due to lack of producing it, and watch this small one almost constantly.

"Do you know why he's been reacting like this?" Rangiku asked softly, worried about their little captain.

"Yeah, I'm not spoiling him as much at my place, but while we're here, he doesn't want to be spoiled at all." Ichigo slowly sat down and the grasp gave some slack. "But when I felt his reiatsu going crazy, I felt yours nearby, and knew you would be in danger." His attention went behind her. "Tell the others whatever you want to divert their attention, just don't tell them about what just happened." He got up with the grasp on his clothing released—instantly stirring the captain that had _just_ fell asleep.

"…Kuro…saki…" Turquoise eyes fluttered, but decided to remain shut. "Stay longer."  
"I was in the middle of a lesson with Unohana-san, I can't stay here for long Toushirou."  
Said captain began to recall what happened when waking up. "Did I hurt Matsumoto?"  
"Your reiatsu was a little heavy on her." He looked to the woman who then walked out.  
"I see," after she left, Toushirou whispered, "It wouldn't happen if you sleep with me."  
"What are you talking about, I sleep in the futon right next to you." His smile appeared.  
"You know exactly what I mean, don't play with me. Why can't we just get it over with?"

"Ever since I said that we could have it my way, you've been having these nightmares when I'm not around, it tells me that you're not ready for my lead." His hand rustled the little captain's hair when he had sat up to receive this attention. "If you're going to stay up, how about you go to your office and do your work for a while, okay?" He watched as Toushirou looked down quietly in thought, making him turn his head away with slight annoyance. "I want to talk about this tonight, okay? Rangiku-san is covering this."

"Can we talk about it now?" There was uncertainty in his voice. "I placed Matsumoto in danger…"

Disappointment filled the captain as the hand left his head of hair, but it was substituted by the man sitting on the mat next to his futon. His eyes widened in surprise to see that this man was going to spare him a few minutes by pushing his lessons with Retsu away for a little longer. With the privilege of taking this man's very busy schedule, Toushirou straightened himself out to sit properly in front of him, quietly.

"What are you afraid of?" The man asked, startling the captain. "What is it that has you so terrified?"  
"A repeat of everything that happened," he answered honestly. "I don't want to be touched—by them."  
This quick addition to his words was acknowledged. "But you want to be touched by me, is that it?"  
"…and others," there was slight hesitation. "Hinamori and Matsumoto—Abarai even, I'm adjusting."  
"And you're doing really well with them. Momo and Rangiku-san' outbursts aren't startling you now."  
"I know that I've recovered to the point where I have no reaction towards anyone, and only a limited amount of people touch me." He paused, then added. "I can even allow Momo to embrace me now."  
"Toushirou, you need to remember to take things slow, there is a chance you can have a setback."  
"It's been nine months since then, I have another three months to recover." His lips curved in a smile.

"Then I'll have you wait another three months until I have my way with you, with your consent." Once Ichigo stated this sharply, it gave the little one a moment to think on that. "Look at me," turquoise eyes connected with chocolate brown, "anyone who had even looked at you is in Hell, and no one will touch you unless you give them permission." He smiled in turn now. "You just need to let me go, Toushirou."

"I don't have to if I don't want to." It was obvious that this man was catching on; his nightmares at the apartment—the fake nightmares, were different from the ones that were real here in Soul Society.  
"You said yourself that you wanted me to stop spoiling you slowly, and you've been acting out because of it." This earned him a pouty scowl. "You lash out, you're irritated more, and you light up when I appear."  
"Don't say that." Toushirou snorted as he looked a little angry. "Just because I'm not physically mature, doesn't make me a child. If anything, the events I've been through have made me more adult than you!"  
Silence filled the air as he bit his tongue to fight objecting. "Possibly," he muttered under his breath. "But, what I said is true, and I need to start pushing you a little farther so you can have your independence."

He watched as the man's hues turned golden. "You don't want to do that either though, your Hollow is fighting you right now to keep me close, isn't it—?" Ichigo was up on his feet instantly, and turned away. The little captain also jumped up to stop him from leaving on bad terms, but tripped over the covers. "Ah—!" The man turned and caught him while on a foot, causing him to lose balance and fall on his back.

"Get…off…" Ichigo seethed, trying to contain himself with the little captain over the one spot that was getting aroused. As the other slowly obeyed to remove himself, he stood up quickly while opening up a garganta with a snap of the fingers. "Tell Unohana-san I'll be late getting back." With that, he jumped in.

"Kurosaki!" He was too late, Ichigo was gone.

X—

"Did you two get into a fight?" Rangiku asked softly, not pressuring her captain. "Ichigo isn't mad at you."

He ignored his lieutenant as he tried to deal with his work without thinking of that man who suddenly left Soul Society to get away from him. There was nothing that he could do, knowing that Ichigo was angry at him—but he also knew that Ichigo had wanted him at that moment. Toushirou desired to know what was going on in that man's head, in his Hollow's head, and everything else going on with him. A shadow appeared over his desk, causing him to look up at the woman who looked down at him worriedly now.

"You can talk to me, taichou." She squatted down, leaning her hands and head against the desk. "Maybe not about what had happen to you but," her head tilted, smiling softly at him. "We can talk about Ichigo."

The hair on his nape prickled at this; his mind telling him to decline the offer, however, he was worried. "Kurosaki allows me to use him to face everything I have encountered, but now he's trying to pull away."  
"That's because he's human too, he has some more years to live, so he can't stay at your side forever." It took a moment for her to register everything he said. "Wait… are you saying you two are having sex?"  
"He told me once that sex is an impulse of sexual desire. We would do it once a week for a month, I asked for it to reclaim my body, he did it to calm his Hollow down." His voice lowered. "We've stopped."  
"Good, because that's wrong no matter how you look at it. Ichigo shouldn't be pressuring you to do such a thing!" The woman stood up and began to pace. "I can't believe—if I see him soon, I'm going to slap him!"  
"It was at my request Matsumoto." Toushirou stated firmly, making her stop in her tracks. "I admit that the day I saw you face to face, that was the day I asked him to sleep with me, and almost forced him to—"  
"Wait… you almost raped Ichigo?" She tried to think about it, but shook her head. "You two are making this very difficult to understand." The lieutenant looked at him. "Okay, so how did this happen?"

"Toushirou wanted his body back through sex, I had him wait as long as possible until I knew it would no longer be safe." A man stated from the doorway, they turned to see an unhappy Ichigo. "I'm ignoring this conversation for his sake, but I have to cut in for a moment. Rangiku-san, I need a word with you, now."

The captain stood from his sit, "Kurosaki, I'm—" The man turned and left the office.  
"Ichigo!" Rangiku yelled, not liking the cruel way he was treating her little captain.  
Toushirou turned to her. "I want to know why he's angry at me, please talk to him."  
"…if you say so." She huffed before chasing after the man who was down the hall.

It did not take long to catch up with him, although—as soon as she did, he used a flash step to leave the area for a more secluded area. When they were far enough, Ichigo stopped in place where as Rangiku made it behind him a few long seconds after him with little energy to spare. They both could sense that the little captain was doing his best to come towards them to make sure nothing happened between them. To make sure that there was no time for him to interrupt their conversation, the Strawberry turned to the woman to explain things firmly.

"I heard most of your conversation with Toushirou, and you were right about me being human." He stated as he crossed his arms. "He needs to understand that I can't stay at his side, that's your job, isn't it?"  
Her expression became glum. "Are you going to hurt him?" His head shook. "Then I'll help you in any way possible, I know that he needs to break away as well, but I can't do anything to harm him either."  
"He's confusing my instincts—my Hollow's side especially. If I'm less available _to_ him, he'll learn that I'm not always available _for_ him." The man looked up. "I can only think of using you when I think he's ready."  
Being one for sneaky tricks, she got the drift, and came to him seductively. "So that means we can have impulsive sex whenever I want?" She felt her captain very close by just now. She whispered. "I'll do it."  
Ichigo also felt the captain's presence—luckily after she mentioned sex. "Thank you, Rangiku-san." He learned forth and kissed her cheek until she moved her face to steal his lips greedily _'…women…'_

Toushirou sighed in relief when seeing that Ichigo was supposedly taking reiatsu from the woman, until it looked as if they were becoming a little intimate. Ichigo pulled away gently a few seconds later as the woman wrapped her arms happily around one of his strong muscular ones. Rangiku then began to cheer happily and asked him loudly when they would be able to go on a date, striking the captain by surprise.

"Wednesday when you don't have much work—" The man paused and looked to the sky. "What now?"  
Lilinette appeared, "Kurosaki-sama!" She came over and pounded on his chest. "Go get healed already!"  
"H-Hey, go back to your post, I didn't summon you." Ichigo scolded the small one. "Go back to Stark."  
"There's a super large hole in your gut and you didn't use your regeneration to heal it! So get it treated!"  
"Lilinette, leave!" His voice shook the ground beneath him. "You'll be in danger if you stay any longer!"

"No!"

Suddenly, another captain appeared, and it was Komamura Sajin with his Zanpakutou descending atop her head, but Ichigo used his own to fight it off with difficulty. The furred captain was taken by surprise at the defense—and a pool of blood seeped out of his shihakusho, onto the grass beneath him. After having shoved him a few feet away, Ichigo thrust his blade into ground to keep himself steady as more blood left his body, so Lilinette stayed at his side and called for Stark. Damn… that was all the Strawberry needed as Stark and Grimmjow appeared instantly, soon followed by Ulquiorra; all wanted to defend his life. As many as there were, Sajin was not afraid of going after them as he raised his Zanpakutou to summon—

"Wait Komamura-taichou!" Toushirou used a flash step to place himself in between. "They have their duties under Kurosaki, they have permission to be here from Soutaichou, I assure you!" He saw the other captain wait in caution, so he turned to the group of Menos. "Kurosaki didn't give you a command, so—"

"Shut up, Brat." Grimmjow growled. "We have our orders, but none of them require listening to your crying to defend us." His tail flickered wildly. "If he so much as attacks Kurosaki though, we're allowed to attack."  
"Withdraw," Ichigo demanded breathlessly, and they turned to him. "I said withdraw!" The four hesitated on obeying, but they did nonetheless. He looked at the wolfish captain. "Sorry… about that… Ko—"  
The man fell forward and collapsed. "Ichigo!" Rangiku turned him on his back and opened his robes to see a rigid hole that was only a few inches from ripping his torso in two. "How could you hide this?"  
"Matsumoto, take him to the Fourth Division," Toushirou demanded sternly; the man's safety being most important to him. "I'll explain everything here since I have a better understand about this situation."

"The others have been informed about these creatures lurking around, _alive_." Sajin stated after the busty lieutenant left to help Ichigo. "However, only three of the many he has are only permitted in Soul Society."  
"I understand that, the girl was here to make us aware of Kurosaki's wounds, she meant no harm."  
He growled at the explanation. "You will blindly believe in Kurosaki Ichigo?" This received him a nod. His head turned. "Then I suppose it's only natural that I feel compelled to still trust that man, blindly as well."  
"We all owe Kurosaki our lives for what he did." The smaller captain paused as he relived the past in his mind. "Some owe even more than their lives to him, and that is including myself. If you will excuse me?"

After bowing his head, the large captain left towards his previous location as Toushirou went to check—

A massive wave of terrifying reiatsu struck him as he turned; he knew this to be Kurosaki Ichigo's Hollow side, but when was it this sinister? He rushed over in seconds to see the man completely transformed into a Hollow—a Vasto Lorde to be more specific, and it was terrifying. The large hole in his abdomen was then instantly healed before his Hollow shell shattered into the wind before he began to fall backwards. It was a good thing Retsu caught him since Rangiku seemed almost petrified from the sight that she had just witnessed. Toushirou would possibly find himself just as terrified from this man if it were not for the fact that he was completely worried about the man himself. He came over to check the injury to see that it had been fully healed due to his Hollow side, and it seemed that Ichigo was once again unconscious.

"…Idiot…" Toushirou whispered.

X—

It had been hours since the carrot top had fallen asleep in Toushirou's barracks where Rangiku and Kotetsu Isane brought him. The captain had yet to sleep as he decided watch the man toss and turn with aggression and pain written all over him, worrying said captain. He would stir the man awake if he were positive that the man would not react in a violent manner as he himself would sometimes do. Ichigo then suddenly sat upright and yelled bloody murder while clasping tightly to his head—he was in dire pain now.

"Kurosaki!"

"Ulquiorra!" The Strawberry roared angrily "Kill them all!" Just then, Grimmjow appeared and sank his fangs deeply into his shoulder. "…thanks Grimmjow…" Somehow, the man began to calm down as the beast shattered his shoulder bones before releasing him. "Finish the scraps… I can't handle them now."

Grimmjow left to do as told.

"Kurosaki…" It was safe for him to come to the man, so Toushirou came over to his side. "What is it?"  
"Hueco Mundo is stirring abruptly since one of them caught me off guard." He slowly lied down.  
Brows furrowed at this, not exactly believing him. "Nothing catches you off guard though."  
"You'd be surprise," his body shifted slightly, "there's a feeding frenzy over there."

Toushirou looked at him to see that he was already recovering from the bite wounds, but he was tired from watching the man. He scooted closer, ignoring the few centimeters of space between their futons before leaning his upper body on the man to sleep. His worry had tired him, so he wanted to go to sleep against the man to listen to the one thing that would once fell asleep to before; his heartbeat. The captain was startled when a hand came to his head, causing him to look up at the tired man to see eyes closed.

"This will be the last time… that I sleep with you…" His voice was quiet and tired. Toushirou lifted his head slowly to look at the man. "I'm tired of everything… but… it's not your fault…" He sighed softly.  
"You've lost so much blood that you're not making sense." The captain began to sit up slowly. "Do you mean sleeping in the same room or—" his body was instantly lying on its back, staring into brown hues.  
"Can you remember when I first took a share of your reiatsu, that you cried?" He watched as the small one weakly nodded. "I never wanted to see you cry again, despite the fact that I have, countless times."  
Understanding what he meant now by 'sleep with,' Toushirou accepted it with open arms. "Even if I cry, which I won't, I want you to continue until I say stop." He looked at him softly. "Do you understand?"

"I'm talking about everything, not just this." Ichigo saw confusion in his eyes. "I'll sleep in Rangiku-san room while we're in Seireitei, and you will sleep in the guestroom on Earth. Do _you_ understand?" A weak nod was his answer. "You have conquered everything in your path and replaced it by being dependent on me." His face lowered to his. "From this point on, I'm not going to give you any special attention, got it?"

_'Something happened…'_ the captain thought to himself while nodded weakly once more. _'Maybe it was me that triggered this change.'_ He watched as his own robe was undone, his garments unraveled, and his body then fully exposed to him as he was used to. _'Maybe something happened to him while over there.'_ His face was gently kissed before the attention went to his nipples. _'Even though this is a routine, it's still arousing.'_ "Ah—!" There was a new sensation as Ichigo nipped at him, making him bite down on a finger to keep quiet. Hands held his waist and brought him into his lap to sit… this man was not aroused yet?

"You purposely ignore what type of _sexual impulses_ I have," he tugged on the neglected nipple, earning a squeak of surprise at the sensation. "It's the real reason why you are terrified of me, so say it aloud, now."  
"I-I'm not afraid of you—ah!" Toushirou did not want to say it, but his body was going crazy. "S-Sadist…" The tugs ceased and turned into nerve driving rubs. "Y-You're a sadist, but ah—y-you don't… hurt me…"  
"My Hollow side yearns for blood, and your damn selfishness to produce me with your reiatsu has driven my Hollow mad." Hands roamed the small pale body. "I restrain myself every second I'm with you now."  
He was slightly already aware of this, but tried his best to ignore it. "In return, I taught you something as you have taught me something." The man slowed at this, to the point of stopping. "I'm submitting to you."  
A hand grabbed one of Toushirou's smaller hands, and placed it against said captain's small erection. "I'm aware of that," he had him rub against himself for friction. "But it's hard to not praise you for being good."

Hearing this startled him, "d-don't call me a good boy, please—" His rear-end was lifted up to the man's face. Pale cheeks reddened in horror from embarrassment. "Kuro—!" He clamped a hand over his mouth, trying not to stir others around him in the barracks._ 'Why is he licking me there?'_ The captain had never felt this sensation before, and it was driving him crazy as a tongue plunged inside of him, only to pull out.

"I'm not all that interested, and you haven't ejaculated in the slightest. Without any lube either, I have to loosen you up somehow." They made eye contact, embarrassment filled hues met slightly firmly ones.  
"I-If you keep doing it I'll—" The man went back to his work, this time using a hand to help stroke the member that Toushirou neglected. All the captain could do now was hold on to his head. "W-Wait, I-I'm—"  
Liquid filled the man's hand, "finally," he rubbed his hand against the entrance that he would soon enter, using his finger to then stretch him out. "Why do you insist on this after reclaiming your body, huh?"  
Three fingers were already inside of him, loosening his muscles. "I don't know… to practice?" Not settled with the answer, Ichigo thrust his fingers in a little more. "I-It's different… from the abuse that I've had…"

"Don't expect any more benefits." He lowered the small body to the ground. "It will be as it was before."

"No…" Toushirou shifted around to service the man so he would be aroused. "Because I'm a part of you, as you are a part of me, remember?" The length of this man was large—his body was suddenly lifted to a large chest. "I-I was just going to help you get ready." He looked into his eyes, trying to understand what was going on, but then remembered. "You like it rough… but I don't want to challenge you, I refuse to."

His body rubbed against his in a rough manner that began to stir this man, so he continued until he was at his own limits. It did not take long to find himself on the futon against his back again, this time it was to have the Strawberry penetrate him. Turquoise hues stared deeply at the man's covered eyes—trying to see what expression he had on his face before being fully entered. As his back arched into the air, he felt something wet pat against his chest, it was foreign to him—as if it were raining inside. Toushirou knew it was not possible but had to check to make sure anyway; his hand came up to brush the man's hair aside.

Tears flowed down the man's face, unhappy about the task he was doing as he began to move within the small body as he wanted in a pose he decided. This was what Ichigo desired from this, but this was not how he wanted to claim it, which mentally tore him to pieces as he continued as his partner vocalized. A pair of hands wrapped around his muscular chest to cling to his shoulders, hugging him to show how the little captain was okay with it. However, it did not matter to the Strawberry because this was not the only thing that was bothering him, there was a lot more to it than he wanted to admit to.

Kurosaki Ichigo was beginning to have strong feelings for Hitsugaya Toushirou.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Thrive to Live**

**Now—**

Turquoise hues watched from the rail outside of the apartment, breathing in the return of the fresh winter smell from his favorite season. Things have become a lot steadier after three months ago when the carrot top first shed his tears as a sign of his weak side he never showed. From then, their relationship became ordinary friends in which had the captain begin to actually understand what true friendship was. It better than before in some ways, as if nothing was holding him back from being the captain that he once was, except now he was wiser. Well, livelier too, since he used to be a stick in the mud, only he was able to chuckle and smirk while around the Strawberry or else he would stay a grump. This was not because he felt attached to him in any shape or form, it was just because he felt that this man deserved it the most.

"Why don't you make it snow for a little while?" The man's voice called from behind.

He slightly fidgeted at the voice that brought him out of his thoughts. "There's plenty of snow right now."  
"So?" His large form came over to lean against the rail next to him. "We can always use a little more."  
"Kurosaki…" The captain warned quietly, trying not to smirk at the laid-back attitude he received from him.  
"I'm going to go on a little walk while it's nice out." Ichigo smiled lightly. "Do you want to come with me?"

He then smiled in turn, nodding at the thought of it. "That actually sounds like a good idea."

As the man locked up the apartment, Toushirou was already waiting down the stairs as he normally would when they would go on a walk. It took a moment before the Strawberry reached the first floor towards the captain, watching as he was long awaited for at the end of the stairs. Both of them recalled the first time that he was allowed outside after the incident with the thugs; how the captain was like a happy child. This was the day known as Toushirou's anniversary of his survival of the tragic incident, which was why he was here on Earth. This week was his vacation week due to being able to stay in Soul Society without too many complaints or nightmares now; he just wanted to celebrate life with this man.

"Hmm… I thought we had an agreement?" Ichigo asked curiously despite the amusement in his tone.  
His attention went up towards the man, trying to figure out what he was talking of. "What do you mean?"  
He chuckled quietly before lightly grasping the hand clinging to his. "Well, I guess your hand _is_ cold…"  
"What—" The captain saw his naked hand holding the other's gloved one and pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"Hold on a minute," Ichigo stopped in place to pull off his left glove. "Here, put this on your left hand." He would have helped him with it through habit, but gave it to him instead for him to deal with, and received a confused look on the pale face. "Now give me your right hand." His demand was answered, and then they began to continue on their walk without any thing to stop them. "That should hold you off until the store—"

"No, this is fine," even though they were in public, he could not help it. "Your hand is warmer than gloves."

All he received was a small chuckle before they headed towards the park, but it began to snow, so the little captain coaxed the man to sit for a while. They sat side by side at a picnic bench under a tree near the children's playground, both watched the young ones look up in amazement at the falling flakes. A large callused hand outstretched from beneath the tree to the cloudy sky, catching any snowflakes that would instantly melt when it touched his skin. Toushirou watched him quietly with admiration, reminding himself of how glad he was to have met this man eighteen years ago. Brown hues turned to him as if to say that he knew the captain had been watching him, but Toushirou did not care in the slightest anymore.

"Have you been able to sleep well?" He saw a slight blush on his cheeks. "Uh-oh… what happened?"  
"I believe the term is… a wet dream? It occurred last night when I dreamt of when you were assertive."  
Ichigo snorted and poked at his cheek. "Well now, aren't you the perverted little taichou? I told you that—"  
"No, believe me, I'm aware of your reluctance that night." His hand removed his. "I know we're finished."  
"I wouldn't call it _finished_, we're friends without intimacy again. Who knows… maybe we'll be together."  
Cheeks reddened before scowling at him. "Now who's the pervert?" He turned his attention to the kids.  
"Like I said, who knows. We have history together now." His lips curved in a smile. "Besides, you're cute."  
"S-Shut up Kurosaki." The captain refused to look at him or else he would be harassed even more so.  
"I'm serious," he caressed the soft white strands of hair. "You're cute, there's nothing wrong with it."  
His hand smacked his away so he would not be touched. "A taichou should _not_ be dubbed as _cute_."  
"Byakuya's a little cute… Soi Fon… eh, a tiny bit…" The more he thought, the bigger the scowl he received.  
"So you're saying that Kuchiki-taichou and Soi Fon-taichou are cuter than me?" He questioned.

"Hah, Toushirou admits that he's cute!" Ichigo grinned victoriously now before leaning back casually.

Realized that he was caught in his words, he huffed in annoyance before leaning against him to take his share of warmth. His mental desires and physical actions were responded as Ichigo brought an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close. No one was paying attention to them… nobody really knew either of them… so the captain closed his eyes to listen over the heavy jacket. There was no doubt in the Strawberry's mind about what Toushirou wanted, so he decided to play it cool when shifting around.

"I know you manipulate ice and water, but really, you're freezing." Ichigo casually unzipped his jacket so he could wrap a side around the captain as he pulled him in closely. "Or are you purposely dropping your body temperature to get what you want?" He chuckled softly, but Toushirou looked up at him—about to object. "I'm playing with you. Even if this was a stunt, it doesn't matter, you're cold… so I'll warm you up."

The loud heartbeats vibrated against his ear, settling him down to the brink of wanting to close his eyes to sleep for just a few minutes. As he began to drift off, the children at the playground started to laugh and cheer with joy; they were obnoxious little creatures. His attention lifted to look at the man to see him watch the group of happy youngsters running around in the snow and on the playground equipment. This man had been a great help to Kuchiki Rukia and her large stomach that was seven months in… or some odd amount of weeks. Watching him look at the children as if he were a protective father or older brother had made him want to ask a question that interested him.

"Kurosaki," he started, earning his attention, "do you want children?"

"I thought you were trying to sneak in a little nap, Toushirou." Ichigo had completely ignored the question; reminding the captain of the time Rukia asked what he would have done if it were her child with this man rather than with Abarai Renji. "Go ahead and get a little sleep, and then we'll walk all around the park."

"You're not answering my question, why is that?" He watched carefully.  
The man pondered. "Is this because I went on a date with Rangiku-san?"  
Toushirou had completely forgotten that. "Did you two have fun that night?"  
"She yelled louder than you," his eyes rolled, "but she doesn't moan as—ow!"  
An elbow hit the man's ribcage. "I never yelled, nor have I ever moaned, Pervert."

"Keep up with those lies and I'll be tempted to prove you wrong." Ichigo muttered under his breath before leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Don't you remember? You biting your hand, crying out 'Ichi, Ichi, ah, Ichigo,' weren't you?" He saw Toushirou's cheeks reddened a few darker shades, allowing him to laugh softly. "You really are too cute when you want to be." His hand rustled the captain's hair once again. "Now then, rest for a good hour or so while you can. Otherwise, you won't be able to listen to my heartbeat."

Not needing to be told once more,

Toushirou closed his eyes,

And fell fast asleep…

* * *

It turned to be a little over an hour before he began to stir awake slowly, only to see that there were still children playing as the snow gained a little more depth. Tired eyes looked up to see deep chocolate brown hues looking down at him—his cheeks turned a few shades red from this. Somehow finding his gaze infatuating, he buried his face against this man's muscular chest to hide his expression so that he would not be teased. Despite that, it was decided to discontinue any spoil treatment for the captain by the Strawberry, Ichigo occasionally tended to look after him… and tease him.

"You never moved so much in your sleep before," the man stated quietly.

Toushirou did not like how this was said, so he looked at himself to find out that his body was sideways on top of the man's lap. Both strong arms wrapped around his curled up body with the jacket to keep his body warm and secure as the time flew by. He slowly removed himself from the man, quickly engulfed in the cold weather—he should have worn more than a long-sleeved shirt beneath his short-sleeved one. A hunter green jacket was plopped on top of his head, causing him to know that it was the jacket that this man was wearing. It was big… it was warm… and it smelt like Kurosaki Ichigo. Knowing that there would be no arguments about taking the offer, the man watched him place it on before he began to walk off while the captain was occupied.

"K-Kurosaki!" Toushirou called in annoyance, hurrying after the man that was leaving him behind.

He chuckled as the other chased after him a few feet to catch up to him. "I wasn't going to leave you."

"I'm fully aware of that." The captain scowled at him unhappily. "You still could have waited for me."

A hand come up and rustled his hair. "Are you that special?" His hand was smacked away from him.

As the man began to walk off again, two small hands grabbed one of his arms to stop him. "I wanted to talk before we continue on our walk, I—we can still do that, right?" Toushirou earned his attention, both standing merely ten feet away from the playground, and two feet away from the sidewalk. "It's been a year since I was assaulted, and it was because of you that I've survived it. When I try to think about what would have happened, I realize that I would have never been saved from that place if it weren't for you." He paused for the moment, watching a slight glum hit the man's face. "Everything that had happened to me was not your fault, it was those bastards who are, but that's not what I'm trying to say right now."

Ichigo softly nudged him towards a bench next to the sidewalk so that they could talk about the touchy subject that has been coped with. It was not necessary to sit down, but the truth was that the Strawberry needed his legs to wake up after being asleep for so long. With the captain having crawled onto his lap and curled into a ball through his sleep, Ichigo could only put up with it to let the other sleep, allowing his legs to go numb from the poor circulation to his legs. That sat next to each other in silence for a few good seconds before Toushirou began to speak once again as he once was before they sat down.

"Unohana-taichou, Matsumoto, and Abarai don't look down upon me after knowing the truth about what had happened. Yamamoto-soutaichou makes it hard to know what his opinion is about it, but I've learned to deal with not knowing." Turquoise liquid orbs lifted to look at the carrot topped man. "As distasteful as the experience was, it was a way life lesson to learn, and you helped me survive through such a lesson." He gave a rare smile towards him, revealing how he was honestly not blaming him for anything of the past events. "You gave up a large majority of your time to care for me, to tend to my every need and put up with my actions be they violent, terrified, or my beliefs of needed attention. You made sure that I was taken care of instead of discarding me—there were so many things that you could have done, that you could _still_ do." Toushirou stopped for the moment as he looked away to gather a breath. "Instead of telling everyone what happened to me, you took me under your care. So why, why did you go to such lengths?"

"Blah, blah, blah…" the man scratched the back of his head. "You're always so dramatic." He glanced at the captain who stared at the snow on the ground, so he placed his hand down while then staring up at the clouds as he whispered softly. "Toushirou, you know that I do anything for my friends, _anything_."

"Yeah…" said captain almost laughed. "I know."  
"If you know it, then stop pausing and keep living!"  
Now, he laughed. "You are an idiot, Kurosaki Ichigo."  
He chuckled at this. "So what of it?" He patted his head.

A ball catches their attention, bouncing and rolling from the playground to the street with two driving lanes for each side. They watched as it stops in the second lane from them while assuming that a man or a woman even was going to rescue the childish toy. The two were taken by surprise since neither expected a little giggling girl running past them through the slush snow, into the street to rescue the toy. As a loud cry from a woman called out to the child to get out of the street, it went unheard by the cheerful child who continued onto the soon to be on-coming traffic. Something stirred within the little captain in which was most likely due to no longer being cold thanks to the man's jacket, and chased after the girl.

"Toushirou!" Ichigo yelled frantically, missing the hem of the jacket as the other leaped up.

However, as it were to be expected by a captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou kept his footing on the slippery pavement, and grasped the child who held her ball. A car was racing forth due to the rush hour for workers who want to go home, causing the short one throw the girl to the Strawberry who caught her. The car was still speeding—it turned out that the man was chattering away on a cell phone, but Toushirou took a quick step and jumped out of the way. It barely missed him, but then the sound of loud screeching and a horn honking filled his ears as he turned towards the side. He had fallen because he had jumped out of the way, only to jump in the way of another speeding car trying to get home.

This car acknowledged the vertically challenged male by slamming on its brakes and swerving hard on accident because of the snow that melted against the pavement that surfaced the car fluids from passing by all the time. His body froze while his turquoise hues widened when he knew that he could not get out of the away in enough time, nor chance ducking under the car as it spun. Who would have thought that he would die by rescuing some human child instead of a human child's soul, it was almost a sick twist in his mind if he could process anything. Suddenly he felt his upper body being lifted by his shirt collars that were slightly choking him, and he found himself flying inches away from the ground. He collided into the snow by the bench that he and Ichigo were sitting on, so he looked—only to see that he was not there.

"Kurosaki?"

His head whipped over to the street to see the man turning to look at him eye-to-eye, smiling softly at him just before impaled by the side of the car. The Strawberry's body hurled over the car before going a few feet into the air, and landing on the ground lifelessly a few feet away from his friend. Toushirou heard the cracking of bones at the impact against the car and hitting against the pavement, but he was overcome by all the blood. Ichigo's looked at him, still smiling softly at the little captain until his eyelids drooped in a heavy manner before closing… permanently.

"Kurosaki!" Toushirou crawled over quickly. "Kurosaki!" He shook him quickly. "This isn't funny! Get up! Take all of my reiatsu needed!" The man did not move, so he dove into the man's pocket to grab the pill, and placed it in the man's mouth. "Come on Kurosaki…" Sirens were heard in which he knew to be called medics, so he took the pill out of the man's mouth when nothing happened. _'You__ should __have__ come__ out__ in__ your __Shinigami__ form__…__'_ It was obvious that this man was no longer with him, "Ichigo… I'm so sorry…"

An iron grip yanked his small form from the Strawberry, making him turn, and punch the man in the face—but a black clawed hand grabbed his wrist. "There is no need for your violence towards humans." It was Ulquiorra who did not look pleased. "Kurosaki-sama has reminded you to not attack them, obey his wish."

"Kurosaki—" Toushirou did not even want to say it as men touched the Strawberry, saying he was dead.

"Respect his decision for taking the hit for you, by announcing to his family what has happened to him."

The captain stared at him in hopes of not hearing him right… but knew that he had to.

* * *

The day came by to the fact that it was now one year today when Kurosaki Ichigo had saved him from the Hell that the captain had been through. The family did not hit well with the news… after all, that man had only graduated a few months ago to become a doctor as he had dreamed about for twenty years. Tears had filled both the Human World, and throughout Soul Society, but none more than from inside the Kurosaki Clinic where Toushirou spent two days. Telling them everything that happened, but no one had bothered to blame him for anything because protecting family and friends was what Ichigo did.

This was why he stood here in front of the long stone steps where he once followed the man…

Toushirou thought about everything that he had gone through with the Strawberry; all the fights and arguments, all the joys and laughter, everything. There was nothing that he would want to take back, because that idiotic carrot topped man, had taught him how life was truly worth living as lively as possible. They could go back and forth or left and right about who was more grateful to the other until one gave up to argue about it another day. The thing that Toushirou had never admitted—that would win their petty little arguments, was that he was silently grateful for the attack on himself. Though he hated the awful experience, he had found out what having a friend meant, and in which allowed him to get close to him.

He began to walk up the stone steps to the large flatland, greeted by a priest who maintained the shrine.

"It is nice to see a familiar face," the elder looking priest half bowed, "I'm sorry to hear about your friend."

Toushirou fully returned the bow to the man whom shared concern for him, and took it with open pride.

"Yes, thank you very much." The captain stood up straight to look at him. "If you don't mind, I'm late."

With an old wrinkled smile, the other turned and walked away to leave the short one be to do his task.

Ichigo had come here for months—he had still tended to come here after graduation, going to the oratory, praying for the one that now stood in his place. The captain stared in the one location where he had seen brown hues look forward before clasping his hands together, praying for the man. He had not been here for so long that it made him feel guiltier than before, but it was time to pray for the man who would pray for him. Images along with the man's voice echoed through his head as he wondered to himself where he was right now if he was no longer human. Isshin stated that he did what he needed to without having any unfinished business, and that the Strawberry probably decided to be with his mother.

_'Kurosaki__ Masaki-san,__ please __look __over__ your__ son__ for__ me__—__for __all __of __us.'_ Toushirou thought about it, and smirked at the thought of it before having to add. _'He __tends__ to __be__ stupid__ when __it __comes __to__ him self__ really.'_

The captain began to think of more past events with him…

_"Oh, so he sent you, huh Toushirou?" A man with a shrubby bright orange goatee mused before opening the door wider for said short male to come in. "Sorry the apartment is a little dirty, I've been busy lately."_

_"I'm not a child, Kurosaki, I don't need snacks." The captain paused. "Thank you for preparing my meal."  
"No problem, you're my guest after all. Whether you like it or not, you are a top priority." His phone rang.  
He watched him, waiting for him to answer it, but did not budge. "Kurosaki, it could be an important call."  
"If it's important, they'll leave a message." Nibbling on a piece, he glanced at him. "How did you sleep?"  
"The call could be an emergency, and you're ignoring it just so you can ask me how I slept last night?"_

_"Are you kidding? You're the reason why I agreed to put up with Jii-san to be a taichou someday."_

As Toushirou was reminiscing on the past while praying, someone entered the oratory quietly.

_"Don't think I didn't catch that second glance you threw in my direction after looking my body up and down." Ichigo spoke with amusement before squatting down in front of the desk to be at eye-level with the little captain, but when he did not receive any reply, he pestered him. "So then, did you like the show?"_

_Kurosaki Ichigo was dead tired, but was doing his best to stay awake since he was needed. "You don't have to say anything that you don't want to." He whispered. " You don't have to explain anything to me unless that is what you want. But remember," he started softly. "You know I'm here if you need me."_

_Ichigo hummed curiously before placing his foot on his lap to remove the bracelet. "Could it be that…" he lifted his foot delicately, "that the Hitsugaya Toushirou is ticklish on his feet?"_

_"If you turn around and face my chest, we'll go home and keep hiding as much as you want." Ichigo said softly to comfort him. "If you open your eyes, you're making a promise to me that you'll move forward."_

_"I don't know what happened to you during those four days, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen to you." Ichigo covered his face with a hand, "I hate that all I can do is cook your meals and share my bed with you, I want to be more useful." His hand held his face tightly. "Staying home with you was to make sure you wouldn't try to hurt yourself, and to be there for you if you ever wanted to talk about it…"_

The footsteps behind him stopped, causing Toushirou to acknowledge the person slightly.

_"Toushirou,__you __know__ that __I__ do __anything __for __my__ friends,_ anything_."  
"Yeah__…__"__said__ captain __almost__ laughed.__"I__ know."  
"If__ you__ know__ it,__ then__ stop __pausing__ and__ keep__ living!"_

"Thank you, Kurosaki Ichigo…" Toushirou whispered softly.

If it were not for this man… he would never know how…

To _**Thrive **__**to **__**Live**_

The captain slowly placed his small hands slowly to his sides before whispering a soft goodbye since there was no longer a reason to come back. He thought on everything for a moment before his cell phone rang, it was not a phone call, it was not a Hollow alert, but it _was_ a text. Though he was not in the mood to read something that would supposedly cheer him up, the sender was unknown to him. His thumb pressed on a button to check what the text had to tell him—his body tensed and his awareness became acute.

Unknown:  
_Turn__around._

Toushirou slowly turned around to look at the person whom entered as he prayed; he was nervous as to whom it was, but now he stared in awe towards the person who held a cell phone in his hand casually.

"I would appreciate it if an official Shinigami escorted me to Soul Society." The man blinked at the teary expression he was a receiving. "Sorry I was late, I met a lot of people on the other side, my mom too."

His small hand came up to wipe the tears away, "you idiot, don't apologize to me." Toushirou took in a deep breath before offering his other hand, "come on… it's time that you greet your fukutaichou."

"Ah…" Kurosaki Ichigo took Hitsugaya Toushirou's hand, and they left.

**To be Continued in the sequel: Three Rules: Live to Love**


End file.
